Oh, I Know Their Kind. There're Lots Of Them On Reddit (that's Why I Hate It And Ignore This Shithole).

Our beloved snek daddy living his best life in the Warp 💜🐍

(I just found this photo and couldn't resist, help)

I remembered some funny (in a bad way) things that ppl constantly wrote in r/40kLore, when I still used my Reddit account. This community has always been a treasure trove of cringe.

BEHOLD, THE OVERUSED DISCUSSION, EVERYONE IS SO TIRED OF: "DO THE SPACE MARINES HAVE SEX?"

Not only these guys brought up this topic every month, but they typed such idiotic things that I wanted to hit my head on the table.

My favorites:

1) "Space Marines don't have balls/genitals, they're basically smooth Ken dolls."

By the Dark Gods, where did they even get that from... And who then are their smooth Barbies?!

2) "They're sterile, so they can't have sex."

I think I studied some wrong things in medical university for 5 years. How can you confuse "sterile" with "impotent"? "Sterile" men can't have children - not sex! And yes, Astartes are canonically unable to conceive.

3) "Even Slaaneshi CSMs are not interested in sex, only in killing and torture."

Lots of excerpts from various novels and other lore bits where they're described having sex/relationship with each other, daemons and their slaves - are we a joke to you? Or do these guys need detailed E-rated scenes to understand it?

The self-proclaimed lore messiahs also love to say: "Slaanesh is not about sex! Stop constantly talking about it!"

The joke is - I almost never saw anyone who would say that, but, again, this topic was brought up constantly. Basically purists' neuron activation posts.

Damn, Slaanesh IS about sex AND other things (torture, art, music: excesses and hedonism in everything) too! But some people outright try to exclude this specific aspect when it's absolutely wrong. Because "no s*x in my Christian incel fantasy, no-no, sir!"

One person typed that Kasperos Telmar, aka The Radiant King, had "harem" of daemon "courtesans" and mentioned his "lovers".

This is where I died: some prude answered this person that "it was not specified that The Radiant did anything sexual with them!"

OF COURSE, YOU DO NOTHING SEXUAL WITH YOUR HAREM OF HOT BOVINE-CRUSTACEAN-WOMEN! THEY WERE JUST PLAYING REGICIDE UNDER THE BLANKET! EVERY CHAOS LORD DOES IT, WDYM?

I found this excerpt in the Liber Hereticus:

Yes, Saul's last thoughts were of Lucius, and the latter's betrayal caused Tarvitz the worst pain he had ever felt.

No, I definitely didn't take 4th degree emotional damage from a couple of sentences, haha, ofc not...

Fulgrim has impeccable taste, and no one can argue with that. Period.

Sometimes I like to re-read the moments with him and N'Kari in Slaves to Darkness bc they're so cute together. The best marriage ever 🖤

I just stumbled upon the Sexypedia, trying to find out who tf Miguel O'Hara was (turns out the Spider Man fella, but it doesn't matter).

AND HEAR ME OUT!

There is no Fulgrim! NO. FULGRIM.

I found Sanguinius, Konrad and Magnus (fair enough), but not the unbelievably hot shapeshifting snek man? Really..?

That's it, I'm calling the Dark Prince rn. Your Sexypedia is not sexy enough.

“The Radiant was beautiful. Not handsome, but beautiful. Perfection had rendered his features almost androgynous.

He turned towards them, his eyes burning like miniature suns. He leaned forward, setting his boots on the deck. He wore what had once been a suit of Crusade-pattern power armour. Shaggy white fur was wrapped about his greaves and the vambraces of his gauntlets. His chest-plate had been decorated with a grotesque mural depicting Fulgrim’s moment of apotheosis. One of his shoulder-plates had become fused and twisted into the shape of a leering feminine face. The face whispered softly as the Radiant rose to his feet.

A daemon slid past him, tittering. He took the claw it proffered and they spun in a brief, courtly dance. The daemon clicked its fangs in disappointment as he brought its claw to his lips for a kiss of polite dismissal.”

－ Fabius Bile: Primogenitor, Josh Reynolds

P. S. Working on all these microscopic details was hellish and took many hours, but hey, one of the most imposing Chaos Lords ever deserves no less!

/Feel free to reblog on Tumblr. Do not post on other social media without my consent, thank you!/

> be the High Chaplain of the Blood Angels

> Space Marines shit their power armour when you simply cough and think it's the end of the world when you smile (Except sergeant Dolomen. You love sergeant Dolomen)

> oh yes, you're intimidating, and you know this, babe!

> beat the hell out of Gabriel Seth himself (general reason: Seth was an asshole)

> wrestle your crazy overpowered berserk brothers every weekend like it's a restaurant appointment

> land on some backwater world to do this again

> be nom'd by a giant eel

> start to wonder if you're accidentally living in some kind of damn comedy

1) IMHO, Master of the Maelstrom's plot was "ok", but the characters and interactions between them were really great. Scheming, haughty and sassy son of Sanguinius, fallen to Chaos? And he plays mind games with Huron? *chef's kiss* Perfect!

2) Alastor Rushal stole Ardaric's title "the kinkiest traitor Raven" - what a bad boy (*slams the table* THAT'S WHAT SEVATAR SAID!). The Slaaneshi birb Vaanes deserves the same attention!

3) I actually envy everyone who hasn't read Fabius Bile trilogy. These books were so good that they (with some of ADB's stuff) ruined my subsequent WH40k experience. I'm practically obsessed with them. 3 years have passed and I'm still bitter that GW lost Josh Reynolds.

*Three

In my defense, I was half-asleep when I scheduled this post. 🤦

A little bit about myself: She/her, 22 y.o., aroace. English is not my native language, but I try to hone my skills in it!

Self-taught traditional artist, I work in experimental technique: basically use every material I can find. If I suddenly get inspired, I can draw my art on some ugly piece of paper. A bad habit that I'm trying to wean myself from.

Drawing has been my passion since childhood, but due to the fact that I first prepared for exams at school, and then spent 5 years at medical university, I put my hobby on hold for a long time.

I spend a lot of time on my work and have a very poor health (ironically), but I'll try to upload something new as often as possible!

My favorite fandoms: J. R. R. Tolkien's Legendarium, M. Moorcock's Elric novels, The Elder Scrolls, The Witcher, Baldur's Gate, Soulsborne, Dragon Age & Mass Effect, DnD & R. A. Salvatore's novels, varioud oldschool sci-fi/fantasy/horror anime/films/series.

For now, Warhammer 40K is my main passion, but I'll definetely draw something else too!

I'm currently trying to write fanfiction. I also suffer with my historical novel about English Civil War (I'm a horrible Anglophile).

I can sometimes post my thoughts, excerpts from the books or a random meme.

Yeah, this book was a huge disappointment. I waited so long for it to come out, and all for this? A boring plot, mostly uninteresting empty characters who could have been interesting, but they were just killed! Not to mention that the characters didn't feel like legionnaires of the Third at all. You could easily cross out "Emperor's Children" and write "random SM Imperial Chapter, gone renegade", and personally I wouldn't notice the difference. In the end, Xanthine began to irritate me so terribly that I wanted to punch him in the face! I don't understand what happened to the author: A More Perfect Union was a great story! It was as if someone forced him to write nonsense. Or maybe I just overestimated him.

Lord of Excess was a big letdown for me. But it made me realize one very surprising thing: McNeill isn't such a bad EC-author! There are far worse ones out there!

At least Graham had two shining moments of brilliance in Crimson King (immediately dropped the ball afterwards, but, hey, babysteps!).

So, let me forget about McCormick. He gave me hope with a really good short story and a good first half of a novel. But now, with this second half of the novel riddled with logical inconsistencies, holes in the story big enough to drive a landraider through without scratching the paint and the endless same-same of "betrayal-idiocy-depravity", I need him to walk away from anything EC as briskly as possible. Let my poor guys bask in the fading glory of Reynolds and the few things Kyme, Wraight and St.Martin wrote. Maybe someday some author will come along to carry Josh's torch further! But not today.

At the moment it's fanfiction and fanart for me.

(Pic of Lucius just because I want to. And because McCormick didn't let me keep any good chars. He destroyed them all. To shreds, you say?)