Peter: *yawns*

Bucky: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Sam: Not if they consent to it.

Y/N: Depends on who your stabbing.

Steve: YES??!!?

Stark!Reader: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it…

Tony: Just rip the bandage off.

Stark!Reader: It's Loki.

Tony: Put the bandage back on.

Kate: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Peter: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Y/N?

Y/N: Probably “road work ahead”.

Bucky, confused af: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Y/N: If you had to choose between Steve and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Bucky: That depends, how much money are we talking about?

Steve: Bucky!

Y/N: 63 cents.

Bucky: …I’ll take the money.

Steve: BUCKY!!!

Store Worker: Would Miss Y/N L/N come to the front desk?

Y/N, arriving at the front desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Sam and Bucky*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Sam and Bucky, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Y/N: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Tony: Y/N, Peter, I’ve left a letter telling your guardians not to worry—

Y/N: They won’t.

Tony: That you’re safe—

Y/N: That’ll just depress them.

Tony: —and you’ll see them in a few weeks.

Peter: Do we have to?

Peter: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Ned: Merry crisis.

Y/N: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

MJ: Hoe hoe hoe.

Peter: Guys, please.

Bucky: HELP! I TOLD Y/N I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Steve, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Sweet Caroline

A/N- This is my first imagine so please be patient, I am trying my best but I've only ever written full stories or Incorrect Quotes. But there is a first for everything, right?

Fem!OC x Avengers(Platonic)

Fem!OC x TwinBrother!PeterParker

All the Avengers excluding Celia and Peter Parker were in the lounge area, talking when suddenly music started blaring from the floor above them. Tony knew what was going on and leaned back in his chair with a hand over his face and a roll of his eyes. Noticing this, Stephen Strange, cocked an eyebrow curiously over at the Genuis, Billionaire, Playboy, who simply huffed before answering. "I tried sending Celia and Peter to bed." He spoke, answering vaguely much to the Teams annoyance. As the music continued to blare, muffled voices can be heard in the room directly above them, which happened to be the Twins room. Tony tried giving them separate rooms but the twins always ended up in the same room. After interrogating them, Tony came upon the answer of which they've shared a room since they moved in with their Aunt and Uncle, and of which after having their Uncle shot right in front of their faces, they find comfort in each other to make the nightmares go away. Tony understood completely where they were coming from and ended up combining two of the rooms to make one big one by knocking down the wall in between the once separate rooms.

Upon further listening, the team realized that the song playing was Sweet Caroline from Neil Diamond and of course, their curiosity gets the best of them. One by one, the team went to the floor above them to listen better. Once everyone, including Tony, was upstairs, listening at the end of the hallway, by the elevator, they do admit, that it was worth coming upstairs. As soon as Tony, the last person to come upstairs, set foot on the floor, all they heard was Celia and Peter singing, "Sweet Caroline! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Steve was absolutely and utterly horrified at the young kids language, while Nat, Loki, and Bucky were smirking. Tony just huffed in annoyance, mouthing "Every. Night." Sam and Wanda were smiling trying to bite back their laughter. Stephen Strange and Thor's eyes were sparkling in amusement, with a slight lift of the corners of their mouths. Bruce and Clint were gaping in pure shock at never hearing such foul language from the two babies of the team, Pietro was silently howling in laughter and Vision was off to the side wondering what the hell was going on.

Upon coming back to the lounge, all they heard was a sound of glass shattering. Suddenly, FRIDAY spoke up. "Miss and Mr. Parker wish to apologize for breaking a lamp in their room. They promise to at least try and be careful next time." FRIDAY had said. "But they can't promise it won't happen again." FRIDAY had quickly added. The Avengers apart from Tony laughed at Tony's disgruntled expression. "Their lucky I love them." Tony muttered with a sigh before plopping back down on his armchair. The rest of the team shared a laugh before going back to their original seats just like Tony had done, while upstairs, Peter and Celia were in their assigned beds, letting each others sound of breathing and heart thumping inside the others chest, lull them to sleep, knowing that their other half and best friend were safe.

Y/N: This food is too hot... I can’t eat it.

Bucky: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Sam: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Tony: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!