need her fingers on me like thatππππππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½
whatβs going on with the whole jake johnnie and carrington thing im so confused rn
tysm for the tag babe<3
I hope you think of me when you look at the colour red, drink diet pepsi and smell vanilla cupcakes:)
@billiesbabygirll @sturnsjoy @scorpio1205 @whor3ing @luvs4matt : npt
Tag game!!
I hope you think of me when..
I hope you think of me when you see anything periwinkle or broadway related
@xoxzso @soft-likethesunset @sweetreveriee @auntiejohn @meangirlsbway @urmumsfan @xoxochb
@im-on-crack-send-help
iβm done i canβt do this anymore
sobbing crying throwing up
WE HUG NOW ππββΛ
authors note: this song has been stuck in my head for weeks
warnings: angst, divorce/breakup
you never wanted the money.
not the cars. not the spotlight. not the gated houses or the sold-out arenas. you wouldβve lived in a tiny apartment, eating cereal on the floor every night if it meant waking up next to herβbillie, the way she was before everything got loud.
she used to fall asleep with her head on your chest, murmuring lyrics into your skin like secrets. used to light up when she saw you walk into a room, like the whole world paused just long enough for her to memorize you again.
but somewhere along the way, the world stopped slowing down.
and she stopped looking up.
you started counting the days between her phone calls. between the nights she came home. between the moments you still felt like hers. you told yourself it was temporary. that fame came with distance, and distance didnβt mean detachment. you told yourself sheβd remember.
but then came the fight.
you were sitting in the nursery, holding your daughter while she clung to your arm, the weight of the world pressing down on your chest. billie paced in front of you, her voice sharp, accusing.
βdo you love me,β she asked, βor just the life i gave you?β
you didnβt have words. it hit you like a slap in the face, and all the breath left your lungs. you wouldβve given everything up for her.
but in that moment, you realized she didnβt believe you. maybe she never did.
so you let her go.
the divorce was quiet. clinical. the kind where nothing catches fire but everything still burns.
she left the house. she left the crib. she left one thing behindβa beat-up old phone, screen cracked, tucked beneath the baby blanket in the rocker.
a single voice memo, labeled:
halleyβs comet. for her.
you sat in the dim light of the nursery that night, holding your daughter to your chest, listening to billieβs voice crackle through the speaker.
βhi, baby girl. this is your song. iβll always love you, even when iβm not there.β
she sang like she was still trying to hold on. and you cried like you already knew she wouldnβt.
your daughter is four now.
she runs everywhere instead of walking. sheβs all questions and scraped knees and big, open-hearted feelings. she asks about the stars when she canβt sleep, says she feels safest when you hold her.
she knows the song by heart. youβve played it for her every night since she was born. she calls it her song, like it was written by the universe just for her. and maybe, in a way, it was.
youβre driving her home from preschool one afternoon, the air warm, the sun soft on your arm, and the radio starts playing a song that makes your heart skip.
itβs halleyβs comet.
not the voice memo. the full version. studio-polished. stripped-down and haunting and beautiful. billieβs voice, older now, but still her. still yours, somehow.
from the backseat, your daughter perks up, her voice sharp with recognition.
βmamaβ¦ my song.β
you grip the steering wheel, the pressure of her words making your chest tighten.
sheβs staring out the window, her small hand pressed to her chest like sheβs holding something fragile, something sacred. and it is.
you force a smile, blinking back the tightness in your throat. βyeah, baby,β you whisper. βthatβs your song.β
a week later, your phone buzzes.
someone sends you a clip from billieβs latest interviewβsheβs on a late-night talk show, radiant, untouchable. the interviewer brings you up like a distant memory, something forgotten.
βso, you and y/n. what happened there?β
billie laughs easily, like itβs nothing. like itβs a joke.
βoh, that. yeah. we ended it on mutual terms. itβs all good now.β
mutual.
like you didnβt stay awake for months, waiting for her to come home, waiting for her to see you again. like you didnβt rock your daughter to sleep, night after night, with the sound of billieβs voice in the dark, your heart breaking quietly every time. like you didnβt love her with every piece of yourself. like you still donβt, a little.
you pause the video.
the house is quiet. the laundry hums softly in the next room. your daughterβs asleep upstairs, her tiny body curled around a stuffed bunny, the old phone still tucked under her pillow.
you sit there, the glow of the screen fading to black.
and you thinkβ
god, she really believes it was nothing.
youβre just thinking itβs a small thing that happened.the world ended when it happened to me.
taglist: @amara-eilish @bilswifee @iamnicoke @jayjaywetforbils @eloiseluvsbillie @bxllxebxtch | send me an ask, or comment if you want to be added to my taglist!
HELLO WHAT does anyone know where that audio came from bc it sounds a little too much like itβs actually chrisπΆ
this is me all day
iβve not been able to stop crying for the past 5 hours iβm not even sad about anything is this what insanity is
mwah love you babyππ
your ugly as fuck you brown paki nigga
ouuu you see we arenβt doing this when you canβt say it to my face with chestπ«Άπ½
i love just hitting the splits i feel bad for people who canβt do themππ
me right now if y even care
i love this
@armodeous @chrisspussygang @billiesbabygirll @billiesbabygirleilish @matthewsvelma npt!!
Lockscreen, Home screen and the Last playlist you listened to!!
Npt: @thenickgirl @chrepsi @bernardsbendystraws @whore4mattsturniolo @pvssychicken @nickssidewitch