Ooofff Or Actually Stanford Smut

is this anything

Silly request but imagine helping Bill "groom" his triangle self. Gently wipe him with a cloth. Carefully dip it in the little space between the bricks, can't leave that zone unclean! Alternatively, a classic soapy bubble bath. Silly straws included, what the hell, he's probably drinking the bath water and listing the chemical ingredients back at you while you gently rub him clean. Fun times

The Bug Collector

1.1k words,, Bill Cipher x reader

a/n — Procrastination killed my soul during this, I think it turned out okay, though! Sorry for typos, your girl is tired.

warnings — SFW, post!weirdmaggedon, as ‘fluffy’ as you can get with Bill cipher, he is his own warning, kinda toxic relationships, fluff and bill being pathetic

summary — Reader assists a recently fallen Bill Cipher in self care, despite his general all-mighty asshole-ness.

The exoskeleton of a bug was practical, a water-tight barrier most commonly known for muscle attachments, and its use to shelter and protect the insects gushy insides from its harsh environment. 

The exoskeleton of a triangle was for mostly for aesthetics, as the underneath was far more horrifying than anything in the harsh environment around it. Or so the triangle claims.

You dipped a soapy sponge into the bucket in front of you, as bill propped his feet up on the bathtub. 

“You conquer worlds and destroy planets, but yeah, why not draw the line at cleaning yourself.”

“Please, what better way to make use out of my new human pet— partner, than this?” He corrected loudly and purposefully. Then looking to the side, he mumbled, “And besides, kid, you have no idea how hard it is to clean between the bricks. Euck— So many blind spots.”

The first part was a throwaway reminder that he had far more power than you in this dynamic, something you’d picked up on Bill casually doing in his time with you. 

Being roommates with a butt-hurt demon, given the ending of weirdmaggedon, allowed you the privilege of being more cautious than previous humans were with Bill. For example, you’ve taken to keeping track of his repeated habits and patterns. 

On of which, just so happened to be reminding you how small you were compared to him. 

You jabbed the sponge in-between on of the bricks, “Ow!” He narrowed his eye at you, “Watch it, pal. I’m starting to think you’ve never cleaned a triangle before.”

“I’d hate to give that impression.” You softened your hold on him, “Delicate work, I always say.”

And it was delicate work. After his defeat, he’d been roughed up a surprising bit, powers even weakened. 

Weakened.

“Not too delicate,” he shot you glance. Guess he’d heard that thought process. 

Although, most days he’d seemed to be in a thought process of his own. Weird.

You cleared your throat, “How often does this even need to be done?”

He blinked, “Well, let’s see. Once every—“ he waved his hand around “—few hundred years. Very high maintenance, do not recommend it.”

High maintenance, yeah. At this point, Bill had taken to talking about some other topic, you hadn’t been really listening, something about intergalactic food joints.

Every once and a while he’d bring up something that happened with one of his ‘henchmaniacs’ before getting slightly irritated at the lack of presence in his life now, and changing the subject. 

Bill was interesting to study, you couldn’t lie. His eyelashes curled away from each other, like the mangled legs of a recently dead spider. His hands were very present when he talked, like most people of business. His body flicked side to side slightly at certain moments. 

You became more gentle naturally, taking care of every crevice, and for some reason Bill becomes gradually quieter.

“Something wrong?” You asked, not stopping.

Bill blinked, “Eh, been a minute since i’ve had a human servant. Maybe, I was thinking of other things you can help with!”

You sigh, “Yeah, because i’m your servant. As if.” In your mind, your thinking do the fact he was your roommate, in your house, eating your food. 

“Hey, don’t get all butt-hurt. You’re all ants to me, buddy, nothing to be ashamed of!” His eye flicked back and forth between you and the room.

Then you stop scrubbing, “Bill, I might as well be your landlord.” You know he can read your thoughts, so you make a point to justify yourself. Already weakened from his failed apocalypse, anything other than vague respect for you would land him homeless. Most likely, his response to this would be killing you, but there’s only so much he can do afterwards. 

He’d have a place to stay, but with no electricity or heating, and in his damaged physical form he actively does need those things. And trying to get a new human would be a hassle, and unlike you, no guarantee they’d let him stay there without calling the authorities.

“Yeesh,” Bill remarks, “Buzzkill… You are still a bug compared to me, though—“

You drop the sponge in the bucket, “I think you’re done.”

He looks taken aback when you pull away, “What? Come on, over the bug comment? Jeez, buddy—“

“No I mean you’re actually done,” you gesture to his body, now shining and slick with soap suds. “I got everything, there’s nothing else to do.”

You go to turn around before you feel a small hand grabbing for the back of your shirt. 

“Wait, wait!” He breathes, eye flicking from side to side, “… You have to dry me off first.”

He looked slightly panicked, like if you stopped taking care of him now, you’d leave and never come back. Your thought process earlier couldn’t have helped. 

The way he scurried and gasped for you was reminiscent of panicked earwig and a rock is lifted up. The comparison should have grossed you out, but it kinda just made you feel a little bad.

If he was paying attention to your thoughts, he didn’t show it. This would have usually given you the impression he’d wanted you to be thinking the way you were, but he seemed a little wrapped up in his own head. 

“Come on, kid. Don’t tell me you’re gonna kick me out because I asked you to dry me off. One last thing and then you don’t even have to talk to me the rest of the night! Sounds like a good deal, right?” 

His slightly desperate looking sales pitch was met with a sigh, you picked up a dry towel and began to pat the soap suds off of him. His body slowly breathed in, making it look like he was sighing, but no noise came out.

You wondered then if he was actually touch-starved, but cut your thoughts there because this time he had nothing better to do then pay attention to what you were thinking. 

“Ouch, i’m not that desperate, pal.” But he was.

His exoskeleton was dry, but you didn’t stop patting him down. His eyelid shut slowly, and the spider-legs on them curled into each other once more. 

The exoskeleton of a bug was practical, but one of a triangle seemed to simply be for aesthetics. 

However, on some rare occasions, it possesses the same desire for love as human bodies. Only, when very desperate, of course. 

i will literally devour your inside job fics i'm not kidding AHHH if you do reagan my heart is yours

begging for reagan and brett requests and for very different reasons. Reagan can do whatever she wants to me and i’d love it, and Brett would let me do whatever I want to him. Guys send asks!!!

We need more fat (not the twink one) human bill cipher x reader fics

GOD I LOVE YOU CANON BILL

Welcome back!

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time but I hope taking a break from everything helped a bit. I totally get how stuff can get overwhelming and I’ve deleted my blog a couple of times too.

It’s nice to see your familiar username again though

Stay frosty my friend ✌️

omg yeah randomly deleting my social media is definitely a bad habit of mine 😬! Now I have to find all my old mutuals but I like totally forget their usernames, I always went off of profile picture..

Thanks for the welcome back though, I wasn’t counting on a lot of people seeing that post - Have a great day, my friend!

“your acoustic” your unoriginal and cringe. if your gonna be ableist towards me get creative

"ur so acoustic" u will not be able to hear acoustic when i am through with u.

I just can see this scenario with Stan! Please if you don't feel comfortable to write it tell me !

Stanley who was always "in control" and a dom in the bedroom ( even feeling like it's necessary as a consequence of his parents) to finally letting himself go, be taken care of, letting his control down and fully entrusting her in being very vulnerable (outside the bedroom he did let his guard down but he had a blockage to let it go intimately) !!!

-🌌

── .✦

Awwwwwhshdhfhhd this is unfortunately very in character. I feel like he’d have a massive problem with letting himself be taken care of, like and being seen as weak or being lesser because of it. So you’d have to be very gentle at first, and not to praising from the gettgo, because then he’ll think you’re making fun of him.

But as you slowly start to ride him and pin his hands beside you maybe then you can start making remarks about how good he’s taking it. Watch him unravel if you keep going, because he does desperately need your validation, the kind he never got as a kid and still never gets now. Tell him how lucky you are the have him, how perfect he is, and how much you love him.

He’ll be such a mess.

hot take everybody, I want him so bad.

fluff requests? 😁

Pls elaborate when u say Mr puzzle takes it in the ass. PLEASE

Lowkey have not seen any Mr. Puzzles smut yet so… i dunno I guess I AM the first of the generation, it is scary but.. somebody’s gotta do it. (the middle picture was actually me when I got this request)

So we all saw the arch, right? I feel like he actually doesn’t have a lot of experience or maybe none at all. He’s been pretty lonely in the friend department since childhood so I can only assume the same for significant others. He definitely wants to be romanced the hell out of before you fuck him.

I feel like he would want to look at you while you do it, so most times you’d end up with his legs draped over your shoulders. But as long as you’re giving him (his ass) attention, he’ll enjoy any position. Said this in the last post, he heavily enjoys princess treatment, so praise while you fuck into him is a yes.