I’m Sorry To Report That The Danbert Virus Has Come Back And Infected Approximately 93.7% Of My Brain

Who was gonna tell me that Quark quite literally propositioned himself to Odo during their first ever meeting. I’m watching S2E8: Necessary Evil and by god that Ferengi is dickmitized

“Listen, I feel you and I…we’ve gotten off to a bad start here. Let me make it up to you. You need anything? A little Ginger tea? No, you don’t drink. Um…chocolate? Maybe, uh, companionship?”

Word for word I swear I’ve heard Quark make that same offer a million times to other women in his bar, king of using his body to get out of bad situations

It’s so funny re-watching some episodes of enterprise because while Archers trying to form an alliance and prevent a war from happening Shran’s just trying so desperately to get into Archers pants.

Talas is literally dying in sickbay and he’s over in Archer’s quarters playfully flirting and obviously checking him out and using something I can only describe as bedroom eyes to try and woo the pink skin.

Archer shaking Shran’s hand thinking they just agreed to become allies with the Andorians 🤝 Shran shaking Archer’s hand thinking about all the ways he’s gonna wife him up and get him pregnant probably

Oh, I think we can Travis, Shran's actually offered several times already. He's first in line.

Don't even get me started on the whole Ushaan fight cause we all know that was just a kink, right? right?

Aww taking care of your husbands remains ☺️💙

Thinking about if other species becoming insanely obsessed with random parts of human history because it's just so VAST and there's so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that other events like the first contact with the Aksani, the Barkonian renaissance, the whole federation-Eminian 'poison saliva dinner' fiasco, or the Lokirrim-Iconian-Risian trading war were all very interesting.

But I can't help but imagine the endless hilarity that involves something like a group of Andorian teens all being like:

"Did you know that there used to be other types of human sub-species living on earth billions and billions of years ago? Yeah! they were called like knee-an-do-thals and erik-toss or something" "Really? So, it was like the human version of Aenar on their planet?" "I guess so yeah" "So, what happened to them?" "The ancient humans killed them all." "..." "..."

"...maybe...on second thought, we should help Anika with her biology project after all."

You want to know what got me started on this midam train? Way back in the day, before Jake Abel came along and legitimized us all with the strength of his romantic chemistry with himself?

It was such a small detail, but to present it right, I need to set a little foundation. I need to talk about angel fashion.

That’s right! I’m fascinated by the clothing choices of the angels we see throughout the series, and I could get into it for hours, but I won’t. For the sake of brevity, I’m just going to sketch out my obsession briefly: every regime change in Heaven has its own dress code. Even in the in the later seasons, when it looks like they’re all just wearing bland basics, subtle changes still crop up as the leadership changes hands. How official this is in Heaven is uncertain. It could be playing off Lucifer’s assertion that, “Angels were made to follow,” like it’s something in their hardwiring that makes them want to emulate whoever’s in charge, but we don’t know.

Michael’s regime was suits. Dark suits in particular—in contrast to Lucifer’s white victory suit we see in season 5’s false apocalyptic future–with neck ties that frequently, though not always, feature a pattern reminiscent of multiple staring eyes. And we can tell where certain angels are in terms of Heavenly morale by how closely they follow the dress code. Joshua, heaven’s gardener, sees himself as too insignificant in the plans of upper management, and doesn’t bother to wear the uniform at all. Uriel is losing faith, and he appears without the tie and with his shirt unbuttoned. Zachariah loosens his tie when he thinks that Michael’s about to destroy him for his failure with the Winchesters, but straightens it when Michael gives him a second chance with Adam.

Raphael, in one of the most tragic examples, gives no fucks about clothes when they don their vessel and talk about the death of God and allude to their own severe depression in season 5, but they wear Michael’s uniform to the letter in season 6. Because in season 6, Raphael’s feelings are being pushed aside, because Michael is in trouble, and Raphael has a mission: rescue him. And as Raphael squares off against Castiel, they’re announcing their loyalty to Michael through this manner of dress, Michael’s #2 to the end.

And in a truly curious move, Castiel continues to wear Michael’s uniform under his trench coat throughout the series. I have theories on that. For another day.

But what’s even more curious is that Michael never once wears the uniform himself. He could have. He had time to change between Adam’s yes and Sam’s. The closest we ever see on screen is with AU Michael, and it’s not perfect. The colors are off. Browns and reds rather than OG Michael’s black accentuated with cool blues, greys, and whites.

And one thing that you could infer from this, is that I’m crazy. The angels just rock whatever clothing their vessels happen to be wearing at the time of their “yes.” That’s certainly what I think was the case with Castiel’s trench coat, before Cas began to associate it with his identity outside of Heaven. But then…

Not only does Michael not show up in his uniform. He shows up wearing Adam’s jacket.

Adam hadn’t been wearing that jacket when Michael possessed him. He took it off! We don’t even see it draped over Adam’s chair, we don’t see it in his hands when he’s pounding on the door calling for Dean’s help. Wherever that jacket is, it’s nowhere in immediate sight!

And mind you, angels don’t get affected by hot or cold—that’s why Cas never feels the need to take the trench coat off. Nor would this plain cotton jacket provide Michael with any significant protection in a cosmic fight against the devil. There was no immediate need for Michael to bother with it.

Michael was trying to do something nice for his vessel. Adam was bloodied and scared, and regretting what he agreed to, but Michael couldn’t let him go. So he cleaned Adam’s shirt, and he fished out the dumb jacket and put it on even though it wasn’t his style, so Adam would at least have all of his things together when they were done. He went out of his way, because, even though his hands were tied, he wanted to be kind.

And after years of germination, that thought turned me into a devoted shipper.

Thank you for reading this unnecessary rant. Tune in next week, when I’ll be discussing how Adam’s favorite food used to be meatloaf, but now it’s burgers. 

Some 16-year-old on YouTube with a true crime podcast:

"The Winchesters. A happy family living in Lawrence, Kansas welcoming home their second son in early 1983. But only six months later tragedy would befall this all american family when Mary Winchester went up in flames. John Winchester and his sons would proceed to disappear for the next few years, that is, until the 2nd of November 2005. Join me today as I explain one of the most infamous men in American history, Dean Winchester, but is this criminal really the killer we think he is? Dean was born on the 24th of January 1979 but we can't be sure-"

Gabriel shows Cas the video and they think it's very well done, they like and subscribe.

i like to think there are true crime episodes in the world of supernatural that are just dedicated to dean winchester

because like okay

he gets arrested in jericho california one/two days after halloween in 2005 and escapes custody before they really charge him for anything then he disappears

then a few months later in december of 2005 he shows up in st louis where hes pinned for the murders of two women and then the attempted murder of another, BUT hes found dead in this same womans house and then theres nothing about him for months

THEN in 2006 he gets arrested in baltimore and is charged for trespassing, grave robbery, grave desecration, murder, impersonation, identity theft etc etc and also arrested at this time is his younger brother sam who isnt charged with anything (as a side note here his brother went to stanford and was studying law, he was on track to be a lawyer a year before this) then overnight while an officer is transferring dean to st louis he escapes and that same officer is found dead on the scene by his partner - around this time sam also escapes custody

and so then they disappear for a while and later he shows up again, in milwaukee where a bank heist is going down and hes supposedly held hostage, then after the original perpetrator of the heist is shot and killed dean takes over running the heist, at that point fbi is called in and they storm the building, they find three or so dead bodies and no dean or sam and find the two escaped by impersonating people in the fbi’s swat team and dumping them in a closet having taken their clothes to blend in and get out of the building

and so they disappear again for a while until a few months later they get arrested again and are actually convicted and sent to folsom prison. they spend definitely under a week in this prison and then escape and once more disappear

then in 2008 theyre arrested again in monument colorado and its planned that theyre to be transferred to a maximum security prison in nevada but before they can be transported they supposedly die when the helicopter thats supposed to transport them explodes, a day later though the sheriffs office where they were kept is destroyed and everyone in it dies

AND THEN. there is dead silence on them for YEARS. they become myth after this, some super weird criminals who go down in infamy in online forums and chatrooms and dean winchester is known as the guy who can never stay dead.

and then. dean and sam get arrested again. a decade later. yeah theyre alive still. who wouldve guessed. what are they arrested for this time? TRYING TO KILL THE PRESIDENT.

haha hey i love the blood dripping from your face and the animal rage in your eyes whats your pronouns

actually sex is fun and casual if you want it to be and serious and sacred if you want it to be bc you make that choice for yourself and nobody else!

Really Random but cute Sabriel headcanon.

Sam and Gabe are literally in sync, like they somehow always think and act the same as each other without realising it. There have been many times where Sam has been explaining a plan for a hunt or whatever and him and Gabriel say the same thing at the same time. Usually Sam will just get a little flustered and cough and move on, but Gabe usually points this out by saying “Jinx you owe me a coke!” Or “Great minds think a like.” So even though this happens a lot Sam and Gabe are oblivious to how much this happens. Another example, Gabe will be feeling a little antsy and want to go on a walk outside and maybe grab some food, so he gets up and heads towards the bunkers exit only to find Sam there as well intending of doing the same thing. So they go together. They walk instead of taking a car both wanting to ‘Enjoy to scenery’ and when they get to the nearest restaurant or diner they both get the same order of food (that either being salad to which Gabriel will say “Just felt like a little extra green” with a shrug or they order something sweet to which Sam will say “It just sounded really good”) and afterwards they both coincidentally take some extra time to stay in town and look around some of the shops and share stories with each other.

But they’re not trying to be the same on purpose, like I said they’re both oblivious that they same the same thing, and think the same ideas, and do the same actions somehow always being so in sync.

Maybe Dean and Cas would eventually point this out to Sam and Gabe, but they will be all like “C’mon Dean/Cas, your over exaggerating, sure we might jinx each other sometimes but it’s not that common🙄” And Dean and Cas are just left to endure that night as Sam and Gabe move perfectly around each other in the kitchen making dinner and repeat the phrase “I was just thinking the same thing!” 12x and day.

Flash cut to Cas carrying Dean bridle-style away and his voice is just ultra deep and growly and Dean's just all: 😳🥴😍

Meanwhile John is in the background, coughing up blood on the floor and barely living because Cas knew that dean would get a little sad if John did actually die.

All I’m saying is we got to see Dean fight Castiel’s Dad it’s only fair we get to see Castiel physically fight John Winchester

Cas wouldn't even have to use his angel powers, he just fist fight a mf

John: Who tf are you?

Cas: *In a little bit bitchy voice* I'm your son's guardian angel and also husband, actually.

John: Bullshit! My sons no fa- *Chair gets smashed over his head*

All I’m saying is we got to see Dean fight Castiel’s Dad it’s only fair we get to see Castiel physically fight John Winchester