Let’s Say, Hypothetically, I Am Madly In Love With Gritty And Gritney. And Maybe I Want To Be In A

Story time! When I was a kid in art class, I always got in trouble for coloring every person in my pictures brown or black or yellow, even if I was drawing myself or my pale German-ass family. My teacher would scold me like, “Your family isn’t brown or yellow! Don’t use that color!” and I’d throw a tantrum, yelling “WELL I’M NOT THE COLOR OF THE WHITE CRAYON WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??”

And then I grew up and learned about undertones, and my skin is yellow/warm-toned af, so take that, Mrs. Johnson.

The moral of the story is: if a seven-year-old can color brown people, so can you.

Part of me says to delete the post because honestly, I’m tired of arguing with people. The fact of the matter is: if you draw characters that canonically have brown/tan skin, keep their skin brown/tan in your art. That’s it.

All of the artists in this fandom are extremely talented and I can’t take that away from you. Just please look up tutorials on how to color characters with brown skin.

Well, damn. As someone who is also independent af (and has gotten dumped for “not needing [the person] enough”, who was raised by a mom who told me not to rely on any “shitty fucking boys”, I can appreciate that.

Don’t you dare make me a Barbatos stan.

Don’t --

Aw, fuck. You did it.

You know whats sexy? Barbatos. Barbatos is sexy. You know how?

Because hes the type of man that could care so deeply about you but is still so fiercely independent. He doesnt need you. He wants you. And to be wanted by someone is the best feeling. He'd make you feel save and ache for more, tease you and leave you yearning.

But above all else, he would never lose himself and what he stands for, for someone, and that, to me, is sexy as hell.

Self-defense idea: get a big chrome grill with sharp gemstones for extra biting power

(edit I think the gif depicts blinged-out braces, but I can confirm from experience that those bitches are sharp)

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

As a fellow married Obey Me! player, I can confirm that nothing is worse than forgetting to turn the notification sound off and hearing Lucifer yell at you when you’re chilling with your spouse. Husband: “I don’t know what kind of hentai you’re watching, but you are not allowed to make fun of my browser history ever again.”

Today in reasons I’d like to be buried

I’m bringing him to some mud hole in Nowhere, Mississippi and teaching him noodling. And then we’re going to have a catfish fry.

Cultural exchange FTW

also did y’all know that solomon’s va’s hobby is fishing and that he’s a fish illustrator on ig 😭

Nobody told me 30 year olds were wrinkly and unenergetic. Some people write 30′s like they’re geriatric (not OP, more directed at the anon). Maybe my social circle is just rowdy, but half the fifty-somethings I work with can drink me under the table and get up for a run in the morning while I’m hungover-ly pouring Bailey’s in my coffee.

Also I look better at 34 than I did at 24 (as do a lot of people), because I have a sense of style and enough money to pay for a nice haircut/makeup. Honestly, who let me out of the house dressed like a goth at Woodstock when I was in college?

Which is a lot of words to tell anon not to worry about hitting 30. You’re never too old to be a bad bitch.

How would the brothers react on their (human) mc stressing about getting older? Mc isn’t as adventurous as before and has some wrinkles. Somewhere near 30?

JWSJSJSJ HOLD UP YALL THINK 30 IS OLD ???? DAMN... Man.... I guess half of my followers are basically in the grave, sorry guys. I'll prepare the funerals.

THE BROTHERS to MC worrying about getting older

Lucifer:

For a while, he will just brush your worries off and think its a phase. Maybe he hasn't loved you right lately? He will put a day aside, if not then a few hours, to just thoroughly love you and your changing body. It's in this time that you can get him to fully understand your worries. He'll take your hand and kiss it, reminding you that that's just part of being human and no matter how old you get, he will still cherish you.

Mammon:

He noticed, of course. The slight change in your appearance over the years and how you seem less energetic. He won't tell you but he's been thinking about the inevitable and although he knows it's still long before that, it just becomes more real with your own worries. He'll silently curse your fragile human being and spill his worries out in a heated argument that started over nothing. How dare you be human! That was the cruelest joke of all. He struggles with it too, but maybe you can lift each other up.

Leviathan:

The fact that he even has someone to love like that is amazing and so he avoids thinking about the negative. To him, this is a dream that should never end and when you get worried about that it just reminds him that this isn't a dream and it could end. He'll become whiny and needy, holding you close in fear of you going way too soon. Sure a few wrinkles arent the end, but they're the beginning of the end. He'll be sure to keep you close until then and remind you of why hes with you in the first place.

Satan:

Hes guilty of messing with that a bit. Your lack of energy forced him to use some "energy boost" spells and he is quick to offer something against the wrinkles too. Theres nothing wrong with getting old, he says, but theres something wrong with you getting old. He cant change fate, but he can try to keep you as youthful as possible on the outside with magic, if you want. Regardless, he will love you until you take your last breath. You changed him for the better and the least he can do is keep you filled with love and comfort throughout your life.

Asmodeus:

He starts freaking out FOR you. This is not just beauty gone wrong. This isn't just something you can fix with concealer. This is real. And it reminds him on how very mortal you are. He might shut down and avoid the topic at all costs. If he doesn't notice it, its not real, right? But he knows he has to accept it at some point. He just isn't ready to yet. So please, MC, take the creams he gives you and cherish every little bit of energy you have. Make him feel better while he tries to make you feel better.

Beelzebub:

Hes actually so calm about it at first. He holds you and tells you thats just life, that you're still beautiful to him and that he could still eat you up no matter what. But slowly.... As he lays awake at night through another hunger session, he realizes that time truly is really short and you have maybe 60 more years at best, 30 more at worst. Time runs different through him. Time is irrelevant to him. Having to think about this makes him anxious and he doesnt like it. Is there nothing he can do but to make you feel comfortable?

Belphegor:

Your worries will be ridiculed for a time because much like his twin, he thinks you still have so much time, right? But soon he'll lay awake at night and look at your sleeping form. You have changed.... Grown older.... And that's scary. Is he just supposed to lose you like he lost Lilith? He'll be angry with himself and his father for you being human, knowing thats not really your fault. He'll remind you every day how much you make him feel. And hopes that you feel him too. Don't worry about the details, he'll hold you anyway.

I’m bi and probably not 100% the target demographic, but it doesn’t necessarily bother me that there aren’t dateable ladies in the game. I can play Arcana to hang out with my big tiddy GF Portia, I don’t need every game to cater to everything I like. That being said, we hear about other female characters in passing - witches other than Maddi, I think some succubi maybe? I think it would be cool to develop some characters like that in-game. Maybe an older witch gives us some lessons in magic, or we take Luke to hang out with Madame Scream to make some macarons, or team up with a succubus to prank Asmo, or maybe we go find the little girl Mammon takes care of in the human world and take her on a playdate with Little D. No. 2? Even if they’re not big characters, it would flesh out the world and be a good foil to the main characters we’re romancing (or adopting, in the case of Luke lol).

okay i'm gonna say it. to have one of the only female characters that appear in the game dead and the other, Maddi, who is a human witch, be obsessive and make most of the characters uncomfortable on multiple occasions does not look all too good for the game. just because it is an otome game does not mean that there can't be any female characters portrayed in a good light. i've had a problem with this for a while but didn't really say anything about it since it is an otome game after all, and i felt like as a queer (lesbian, nb) fan i have never been their target demographic to begin with.

i just felt like finally saying something since i haven't really seen anyone talk about it.

Pro tip! Make a 1:1 solution of water and white vinegar and spray it on the pee spot. The vinegar should react with the ammonia in the urine and help neutralize the smell.

Mum and I let a stray cat into the house just now and he pissed on the curtain so we’ve been frantically trying to cover up the smell so Dad doesn’t tell us off.

I sprayed the scene of the crime with a load of dettol but now the whole room smells of that which is even more suspicious.

So I said to Mum: “what if he questions why it smells like a toilet in here now?”

To which she replied: “We’ll just tell him you farted so I had to light the candles but they weren’t enough.”

THANKS MUM

Reminds me of the time I met a guy who got stopped by the police with a car full of baby alligators.

(which were illegal, but less so than the trunk full of meth)

Beel: It’s not illegal

Police officer staring into Beel’s car trunk which is full of bread: it’s just... there’s so much-

Beel: but it’s not illegal, is it

Police officer:

A sexy college professor.

Why yes, we can study anatomy all day, daddy.

i see no difference.