I’ll Simp Lucifer All Day Long And Nobody Can Stop Me

This is actually a joke I’ve heard a couple times from Latinx folks:

Policia: Papeles?

Conductor: Tengo tijeres! Gane yo?

Mammon gets pulled over by a cop

Cop: *walks up to the window* Papers?

Mammon: HA! Scissors, I win, later LOSER! *drives off*

~

Story time! When I was a kid in art class, I always got in trouble for coloring every person in my pictures brown or black or yellow, even if I was drawing myself or my pale German-ass family. My teacher would scold me like, “Your family isn’t brown or yellow! Don’t use that color!” and I’d throw a tantrum, yelling “WELL I’M NOT THE COLOR OF THE WHITE CRAYON WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??”

And then I grew up and learned about undertones, and my skin is yellow/warm-toned af, so take that, Mrs. Johnson.

The moral of the story is: if a seven-year-old can color brown people, so can you.

Part of me says to delete the post because honestly, I’m tired of arguing with people. The fact of the matter is: if you draw characters that canonically have brown/tan skin, keep their skin brown/tan in your art. That’s it.

All of the artists in this fandom are extremely talented and I can’t take that away from you. Just please look up tutorials on how to color characters with brown skin.

I guarantee you I drank Demonus and threw it up later at least weekly when I was a freshman in college.

idk why i always assumed demonus was wine or sth but you’re telling me... it’s jungle juice????????

OH MY GOD THE NOSTALGIA

Sesshomaru was legit one of the first anime boys I simped for.

SESSHOMARU ☽ 殺生丸

Self-defense idea: get a big chrome grill with sharp gemstones for extra biting power

(edit I think the gif depicts blinged-out braces, but I can confirm from experience that those bitches are sharp)

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

Oh boy my childhood (and adulthood don’t judge me) My Little Pony obsession is finally going to be useful!

Lucifer: Unicorn - he’s the most powerful magically, and unicorns are the most magically gifted ponies IIRC.

Mammon: Pegasus - he’s fun, flighty, and friendly, and also loyal like Best Pony Rainbow Dash.

Levi: Probably a Fluttershy-type pegasus, but if we can expand into the other MLP species, maybe he’d be a sea pony?

Satan: Unicorn, because he’s Lucifer’s progeny and a magical bookworm, but also his animal symbol is literally a unicorn.

Asmodeus: I want to say a unicorn as well, because it would be ironic for him (in non-MLP human lore, unicorns are attracted to purity and virginity).

Beel: Earth pony - he’s solid, down to earth, and kind.

Belphie: Earth pony to go with his twin, but also because it would be hard to nap with a horn poking holes in all your pillows.

Admin needs help!!!

What type of pony would the brothers be? Earth pony, Unicorn or Pegasi?

If this song doesn’t give you mad Mammon vibes, I don’t know what to tell you, except to ask, how do you eat food when you clearly have no taste?

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

All their tiddies are bigger than mine ;_; but they could maybe wear one of my big sleep shirts for failed political campaigns that I get from thrift stores?

Mammon in a Perot/Choate 1996 shirt would be on brand af, I guess.

(also literally every time my husband - a foot taller and 120 lbs heavier than me - buys me clothes, he insists on going to the register by himself and asking the cashier how they think he’d look in the outfit. Send help plz)

You remember that trend where your favorite character wears your clothes?

He's trying to cover his tiddies, I don't know if that's clear

“Justin Bieber”

I am dying. I am deceased.

Also, petition to call our gluttonous one Clyde from now on. It makes me think of the big Clydesdale horses, which absolutely are the Beels of the horse world.

Old trend, but I let my Mom guess the brother's names

I gave her a tiny hint, "they don't have Japanese names."