To Those Who Treat Me Badly Because Of My Autism...

To Those Who Treat Me Badly Because Of My Autism...

Here is a little something for every idiot that has decided to either insult or exclude me because of my autism or say I didn’t have it at all:

You are an idiot. You are rude. You are an indecent human being that needs to learn that no one cares what you think. I will admit that I am weird, but personally, I think you are the weirder one for deciding to pick on someone who did nothing to you. You call me a “retard”, but apparently you are the one who can’t use your brain properly. Because if you could, you would know not to say the things that you do. But since you obviously don’t know, here is a little education for you since you had your head too far up your ass to notice a single thing in school.

I am autistic. That does not mean I am any less intelligent than you. In fact, I am obviously more intelligent. I do think differently, however. Sometimes things don’t make sense to me the first time, so I need to hear it again. It isn’t that I was too stupid to understand, it is that my brain can be chaotic at times and it drowns out your words. Sometimes my thoughts jumble and don’t come out right when I talk. That doesn’t mean my thoughts aren’t there, it means my spoken words can’t convey the complexity in my mind at that moment. My eyes don’t meet yours very often, it feels awkward to me. That doesn’t mean that I cannot see what you do or hear what you say, I am quite observant even with earbuds in and downcast eyes. I can likely tell you how many posts are on the section of fence in front of me (26, if you were wondering) but not your eye color, because guess what, staring into someone’s eyes is fucking weird if you actually think about it. It is kinda like staring at their nose or elbow. Seriously, what if elbow staring was normal? See my point?

Now, I know I can be a bit dysfunctional at times. My ears are sensitive and loud sounds can scare me and make me panic. My senses don’t like to be stimulated at the same time, so touching me when it is loud or even when I am just trying to process a conversation or I am already touching something can really overwhelm me. Just because you wouldn’t be doesn’t mean that I’m not, so please respect that and listen to me when I say things bother me. Furthermore, do not make fun of me for it, that just makes you an asshole. I didn’t choose to have this problem. Do you think it is fun to have meltdowns in public? Do you think I just decided I wanted normal things to be downright painful? Because I really didn’t. No one would choose this. On the topic of things I did not choose, I also did not choose to be socially inadequate. I actually worry a lot about what people think of me, so I certainly would not choose to exhibit weird behaviors. I try very hard to hide them and mimic everyone else, but it is unspeakably difficult and tiring, so sometimes I get things wrong. As the day goes on, my acting skills get worn out and more of who I really am starts to show through the “normal” mask I put on. Believe me, I am well aware that rocking or hitting my hands together or taking something way too literally is weird. It hurts that I am weird. I know I accidentally hurt people’s feelings or react incorrectly to things that they say. It hurts me that I am so weird. Believe me when I say that I beat myself up more than you ever could, so there is no reason for you to remind me of the failings that I am perfectly aware of. Now for telling me I am not autistic. Newsflash, I am. Even when I was self-diagnosed, I was very much an autistic person. Trying to tell me how “normal” I am in certain regards is basically offensive. Do not try to paint over my autism. Do not question my validity as an autistic person. This is the only thing that has ever explained me. This diagnosis is like finally learning the other half of my name. It has made me more whole than I have ever been before. Please don’t steal that from me. I do not want to question myself and this explanation I have found, and I do not want to have to justify myself to you. I don’t know if you know you are being a dick or if you think I want to hear how “normal” I am, but trying to paint me as a “normal person” just makes me feel like I am not valid. Maybe I seem like everyone else sometimes, but I am not like that all the time. And until you find a way to go inside my head and see my thoughts and how much I struggle to act the way I am expected to, you have no right to define my “functionality” (which is a stupid word anyway). When I am having a meltdown or I lose my words or I just get everything wrong, don’t even start with “but you were normal earlier”. I was never “normal”, your experience with me was normal. There is a big difference. Do not define me by your casual observation or what you want me to be. Do not pain me with a color I am not and do not put me in a box I do not belong in. Do not tell me how to refer to myself or who I can be. Do not try to find me a cure to something that I don’t want fixed. I am autistic. Now shut up and deal with it.

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Read it? Tell me your thoughts.


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7 years ago

mood: i want to read a story exactly like one of my favorite stories i’ve read a thousand times but not THAT story because i’ve read it a thousand times and i want to read a new one but it should be exactly like this one.

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Being female on the spectrum means wearing a mask for far too many. It's hard to be ourselves in public, around others, but we must. We must love ourselves enough to be ourselves wherever we are. We must be brave enough to try.

But theory and practice aren't always the same, are they? And neurotypicals can be cold, callous, and cruel.

I'm finally choosing to be "me." It's not always easier, but the more I try, the better it is. The healthier it is. Do I have autism? Maybe; they didn't diagnose girls when I was younger. I do share a lot of traits. For one, I have Sensory Processing Disorder, for sure. I'm as socially awkward AF. But my daughter is def an Aspie. I've seen her put the masks on. And I'm proud of her for choosing to grow into herself.

To hell with the masks - let's finally be free to be...us.

authorjulieclark - Authentic, awkward author.
No apologies.

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6 years ago
Aquamarine On Feldspar With Muscovite | #Geology #GeologyPage #Mineral

Aquamarine on Feldspar with Muscovite | #Geology #GeologyPage #Mineral

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Size: 14.2 x 9.5 x 7

Photo Copyright © Saphira Minerals

Geology Page www.geologypage.com https://www.instagram.com/p/BoljBdVlSgu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zssudxyeg2at

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So true.

If you’re not ready to have a gay kid, a trans kid, an autistic kid, a disabled kid, then you’re not ready to have a kid.

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7 years ago
When you look at this graphic, what is your first thought? Do you agree with
Yes, I See In Color. Several Years Back I Learned Not Everyone Can, And There Are Those Who Don’t Really

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Some attach other senses to memory, such as associating words with flavor. In other words, if you are a fellow synesthete your senses are wired differently.

Synesthesia. I like to think of it as a super power.


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7 years ago

Cassini Mission: What’s Next?

It’s Friday, Sept. 15 and our Cassini mission has officially come to a spectacular end. The final signal from the spacecraft was received here on Earth at 7:55 a.m. EDT after a fateful plunge into Saturn’s atmosphere.

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After losing contact with Earth, the spacecraft burned up like a meteor, becoming part of the planet itself.

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Although bittersweet, Cassini’s triumphant end is the culmination of a nearly 20-year mission that overflowed with discoveries.

But, what happens now?

Mission Team and Data

Now that the spacecraft is gone, most of the team’s engineers are migrating to other planetary missions, where they will continue to contribute to the work we’re doing to explore our solar system and beyond.

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Mission scientists will keep working for the coming years to ensure that we fully understand all of the data acquired during the mission’s Grand Finale. They will carefully calibrate and study all of this data so that it can be entered into the Planetary Data System. From there, it will be accessible to future scientists for years to come.

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Even beyond that, the science data will continue to be worked on for decades, possibly more, depending on the research grants that are acquired.

Other team members, some who have spent most of their career working on the Cassini mission, will use this as an opportunity to retire.

Future Missions

In revealing that Enceladus has essentially all the ingredients needed for life, the mission energized a pivot to the exploration of “ocean worlds” that has been sweeping planetary science over the past couple of decades.

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Jupiter’s moon Europa has been a prime target for future exploration, and many lessons during Cassini’s mission are being applied in planning our Europa Clipper mission, planned for launch in the 2020s.

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The mission will orbit the giant planet, Jupiter, using gravitational assists from large moons to maneuver the spacecraft into repeated close encounters, much as Cassini has used the gravity of Titan to continually shape the spacecraft’s course.

In addition, many engineers and scientists from Cassini are serving on the new Europa Clipper mission and helping to shape its science investigations. For example, several members of the Cassini Ion and Neutral Mass Spectrometer team are developing an extremely sensitive, next-generation version of their instrument for flight on Europa Clipper. What Cassini has learned about flying through the plume of material spraying from Enceladus will be invaluable to Europa Clipper, should plume activity be confirmed on Europa.

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In the decades following Cassini, scientists hope to return to the Saturn system to follow up on the mission’s many discoveries. Mission concepts under consideration include robotic explorers to drift on the methane seas of Titan and fly through the Enceladus plume to collect and analyze samples for signs of biology.

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Atmospheric probes to all four of the outer planets have long been a priority for the science community, and the most recent recommendations from a group of planetary scientists shows interest in sending such a mission to Saturn. By directly sampling Saturn’s upper atmosphere during its last orbits and final plunge, Cassini is laying the groundwork for an potential Saturn atmospheric probe.

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A variety of potential mission concepts are discussed in a recently completed study — including orbiters, flybys and probes that would dive into Uranus’ atmosphere to study its composition. Future missions to the ice giants might explore those worlds using an approach similar to Cassini’s mission.

Learn more about the Cassini mission and its Grand Finale HERE.

Follow the mission on Facebook and Twitter for the latest updates.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.

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authorjulieclark - Authentic, awkward author. No apologies.
Authentic, awkward author. No apologies.

Julie is a published author, writer and parent of an incredible Aspergirl. This Tumblr is authentic, unfiltered and personal. Sometimes, it's about autism. Most times, it isn't.#writer #intj #autismmom #author #nerd

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