That second paragraph is.... something alright
it isn’t that i ache, but the swell in my chest when i tilt up to look at the top of ferris wheels isn’t fear anymore. it isn’t that i ache but instead that while you and i were drunk on your living room rug and you said you’ll find love i didn’t tell you otherwise because i liked the way the words looked in the air between us. i feel no lacking, but the night is a blue that is knifeish, all silver keen like the imagined collar of my future. it isn’t that i want a specific thing, but i am wanting, the soft call of a horizon that peeks out sunsets too far to touch no matter how fast i run.
where am i going. why am i not home here, where it is easy, and where i could build a life unseasonably sad but bearable. i could stop feeling stuck and instead teach myself this is what it means to be planted. i could say that the strange pull in me is only the desire of entropy, to unseam what should be held together.
it isn’t that i yearn, but i picture the blues of oceans and ask - is this the color that belongs to her? when i find her, will i be a better person? i fill my mouth with tongues and chocolate and good times but i cannot pin her down. maybe one day i will step through the mirror and she will be there, easily, hungry for her same ache and want of me.
home, i mean. home.
You said you could talk all day about Welsh castles. Handily enough, I brought a pen and paper to this lecture, so Imma pull up a chair and wait patiently for it to start. :D
this is SUCH an exciting ask thank you SO MUCH for letting me talk about castles. okay im gonna talk about my favourites
Caernarfon
built as residence after edward 1st conquered wales in 1282, after he killed Prince of Wales Llywelyn ap Gruffudd.
edward sought to consolidate power and conquer independent Wales, and built the "iron ring of castles"
caernarfon castle was built in 5 years and was primarily built for 🌟 show 🌟 so edward could basically show how much money he had and how powerful he was
he liked roman history and built the towers with colourful stone, reminiscent of constantinople. the colour has since faded tho
however! just because it was built to show how extra edward was, it was also defensive. the only entrance are the 2 gatehouses, the queen's gate being at the shore for supplies and the kings gate
the kings gate was fearsome and built with holes to pour oil and boiling water down on attackers (also known as "murder holes")
if you survived that, you'd have 4 doors and 5 portcullises to deal with
the castle was briefly seized by a welsh revolution led by my man Madog ap Llywelyn in 1294, but taken back by troops later.
the welsh were deeply angry about Edward and how he conquered wales and killed the Prince. we hate being conquered
it was challenged again in 1403 + 1404 by national treasure Owain Glyndwr but he didn't manage to take it.
it was built on the docks and caernarfon is a walled town so its really very useful for defence.
Conwy
one of eddie boys iron ring of castles, finished construction in 1287 on conwy River
intended to be a mirror of the now ruined Deganwy castle
this was built purely for defence. its pretty much impregnable, due to its steep walls and the fact its on the river so you'd see an army coming a mile off. the bridge was the only way to march over
it was mainly a garrison town. the english kicked the welsh people out of most of the iron rings towns and made it illegal for us to live there. theres an old law thats never been struck out that you can still shoot a welsh man with an arrow off the walls if theyre in the towns. that's right folks, it was illegal for us to be in our own country.
it had 8 towers and 2 barbicans
it was attacked by Madogs rebellion the same time as caernarfon castle but they didn't take it
it fell into disuse but was hastily reactivated during the civil war in 1642
in 1646 it was besieged and ultimately surrendered
Deganwy
there aren't many images due to the fact it's in complete ruins but here's a digital reconstruction
this site has a lot of history due to its highly naturally defensible position. evidence of prehistoric, iron age and Romano-British forts
situated on volcanic rock, and possibly the seat of Maelgwyn Gwynedd, circa 520-547
in AD812, it was damaged by lightning, then in AD822, what was left was destroyed by saxon invaders
robert of Rhuddlan rebuilt it in 1080. the history is vague and murky after this but it was in Welsh hands by 1191
in 1211, Llywelyn ap Iorwerth rebelled against king John, who previously let Llywelyn keep the castle. the castle was pre-emptively destroyed by the welsh to prevent it from falling into English hands (as I said, an enviably defensible position). Llywelyn rebuilt it again by 1228, THEN pre-emptively destroyed again
1245-54, Henry 3rd built it into a medieval fortification, but it was captured by Llywelyn ap Gruffudd.
along came edward 1st and he built conwy castle instead, Deganwy fell to ruins
nowadays, you can visit the few ruins, but apparently you have to be careful because the history is so rich and long and bloody you might accidentally come across human bones
Gwyrch
while beautiful, the castle itself is actually pretty new. it was built between 1810-1825 by Lloyd Hesketh, to honour his wife and their ancestors. (forget a wedding ring, build me a castle as a romantic gesture)
the aforementioned ancestors were the Llwyds (anglicised as lloyd) of Plas yn y Gwyrch. gwyrch was their ancestral home. situated in the castle estate are 2 iron age hillforts, a roman shrine, lead and silver mines, and medieval battle sites. the reason I include this castle is because of the surrounding history.
built directly on the coast, nestled into a huge hill, with a watchtower, very hard to capture. the watchtower is further along the hill and would give fair warning via flaming arrow if an army was coming.
during the WW2, it was home to 200 odd Jewish refugees
was abandoned was was renovated and then became the film site for im a celebrity
Beaumaris
another one of the colonisers iron ring castles, built in 1295
edward built it on an entirely new site, and is known as one of Britain's most sophisticated medieval military structures
almost geometric symmetry
practically impregnable due to the defences shown in the image. high inner defences with low circuit walls
ironically it saw very little action till the civil war and the construction wasn't completed
the first line of defence is an 18ft wide moat, and the dock is protected by a shooting deck
the sea gate had murder holes
if you managed to get through that gate, you'd be faced with 11 obstacles, including a barbican, more murder holes, 3 portcullises and several sets of doors. you had to get through this while dealing with arrow fire and boiling oil from all directions.
Once you get in, there's 6 massive interior towers, and then you're dead
Abergavenny
built in 1087 to the traditional motte and bailey configuration
it was initially timber but was rebuilt with stone at around 1100
by 1175, the castle was in the hands of William de Braose, who wanted to defeat his welsh rival, Seisyll ap Dyfnwal. he invited Seisyll to the castle along with several prominent Welsh men who opposed saxon rule, to propose reconciliation. the men and their armies were brutally massacred once inside the Great Hall. I think I read somewhere it was inspiration for the Red Wedding in game of thrones.
in 1182, Hywel ap Iorwerth of Caerleon attacked and severely damaged the castle
several rebuilds, most notable addition in the 1400s which was the barbican gatehouse. this was placed to defend against our Lord and saviour Owain Glyndwr and his epic rebellion
known as a very very very difficult castle to penetrate
Denbigh
another of edwards iron ring castles, built in 1282
walled town, colonised and populated by the english after booting the welsh out
naturally defensible position
the work wasn't completed in 1294 when Madog ap Llywelyn seized it
the castle kinda passed hands until the 14th century when it came into the possession of the mortimer family
it was attacked during the wars of the Roses and the town was burned
held by royalists in the civil war but taken in 1646 after a parliamentary siege
seized again by royalists in 1659 and they lay waste to the towers and walls of the castle
the town lay pretty much abandoned until the 19th century
the castle has 3 octagonal towers at the gatehouse, which was constructed of impressive decorative stonework to symbolise Royal authority
it also has 8 mural towers, barbicans and defensive terraces to protect it
I've hit the image limit and I can't think of other favourites rn but if I remember ill reblog and add!! thank you so much for letting me talk about welsh castles theyre a special interest of mine i hope u enjoyed
the complete works: the diary, virginia woolf // erasure, zoë lianne // dandelion wine, ray bradbury // the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // the women, kim addonizio // august, mary oliver // incision, yves olade // high bridge park, carlie hoffman.
I was hit by a wave of grief for the first time in a while today, and the weather was very polite in reflecting my mood as it was grey and rainy on my daily walk. I told the wind and rain about everything I was feeling, and let myself feel the anger I had been afraid of. I think it's important to share your emotions so that they aren't stuck inside. If you're not ready to open up to other people, tell the wind and the rain. They'll always listen.
Pays Basque, France
“But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning.”
— Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
Oh no, we just couldn’t have that now, could we?
Book Binding by PearFleur
thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!
A little in love with this video taken from my dorm window 🌩️
there's just something inherently holy about a girl vibing alone in her room
mae, she/her, 19, physics student & researcher
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