05 | 22/10/2022

obsessed with the art of studying

1x05 || 2x13

Poor man, the literal theme of this episode was "confuse TF out of Marc", "make Marc cry", "make Marc cry some more", "why TF is Marc not crying yet again?", "If you won't, then I'll make Marc cry" and "because Marc just has to cry".

His whole story and trauma of it broken down and presented. It was a crucial episode.

I like the idea that both the identities were acknowledged as seperate conscious in the afterlife, like even the goddess was entirely confused about the whole alter business because humans have literally managed to advance almost all shit's to next level of course.

The fact that both Marc and Steven dutifully ignored the last coffin (aka Jake the cabbie, really just a baby) and so the scales never truly balanced and only balanced after Steven died? Like Marc just saw Steven die and the goddess is like "ohh, the scales balanced?". I was heartbroken to see Steven gone. So will be Layla.

Marc with his hands on his waist and literally stating flatly, "Bitch, we mental. Why else?"

The happiness that man felt about being dead rather than crazy won my heart, of course Marc- priorities. But still, to a man who's been broken in terms of mental space almost his whole life- that must have been to precious of clarity. His brother's death for which he blamed himself, his mother's hate, her violent abuse- both mental and physical, his trauma serving in military (from where he got discharged due to him often escaping into his fugue state- his mental disorder, the chaos causing him to be a liability for military), then as a mercenary (because that's apparently the only job he could get with what skills he had), then almost dying- like he literally was going to shoot himself to end the pain. Then killing in the name of protecting and delivering justice. Trauma, trauma, trauma.

And the way Marc believed that he chose his life as khonshu's avatar because he couldn't live like anything else but a killer- because that is what he always was (probably thinking of his brother, oh god).

Steven finally understood though that khonshu had manipulated Marc from the beginning.

Also, I think Jake knows of both Marc and Steven because he could kill the bitches who'd bother them, possibly because he knew of Marc's skills, like Steven could do shit when he realised he was Marc in a way, atleast with the physical abilities.

Imagining trying to explain to my 12-year-old self that John Green is your favorite non-fiction author and Hank Green is your favorite fiction author

Before anything else, I am dead set on talking about the character development or say the bond development between Steven and khonshu, from both sides.

From "the stupid pigeon" to finally a respectful khonshu. And from "you fool" and "worm" to finally Steven. Gotta say, they've worked hard enough.

The scene where Oscar Issac transformed from Marc to Steven in front of the screen for the first time, in complete concious and view to the viewers. IT WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT. HE'S AMAZING.

The visual motion was....amazing. Oscar Issac is so winning the series💫

Then we come to the part of how we finally have a third alter in the picture. But then, we always had him. Remeber the scene from the first episode where Steven suddenly went off and then returned to his body holding a scarab in a bloody fist with people and bloodshed all around.

We've seen in this episode how Marc actually fights and straight up killing is not his style obviously so, oh boy, who dat at the door peekin' ? I feel like Marc's the real one, right so. Maybe Steven is the alter that let's Marc live a normal life he couldn't being a mercenary and the alter 3 is the bloody-thirstier alter that does things too gruesome to Marc's liking. And, and, and where was the baby alter 3 going- riding like that to the airport? Besides that, it's an alter that obviously has no mercenary knowledge like Marc (except for the killing part- which is shinier than Marc) because he didn't know any Arabic (like Marc does for his travel and 'MI6 bonkers' stuff) as the driver accused him that he was being a foreigner who didn't know Arabic.

And the pain on Marc's face. When he saw the kid cut off his scarf and die. Trauma list keeps gettin' longer, eh?

He's devastated. I mean even in the beginning when he first started on the roof with the fight. He hesitated right before he slapped the kid to the side instead of a proper punch when he realised he was fighting off just a kid. And then, that very kid is dead and of course he believes it's all his fault, which it is but not entirely, technically it's all harrow- for brainwashing people like that.

Oh I probably will write again about episode 3.... These are just the "hit me right as I watched" ones.

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I hate these days but here I am, living 'em again; inescapable reality....

What do you do when you don't feel like a person anymore? When all you feel like is an extension to everybody else's life? I like being needed most of the times, but I absolutely hate it in moments when I stop feeling like a fucking valid person anymore, when being needed absolutely fucks up with my personal progress, be it academic, psychological, physical or emotional. When people who need my help feel entitled to it and I feel too exhausted to even defend myself on that stand, when all I want to do is cry about it.

Weekend's for being a bookworm and doing re-readings, no arguments.

...like antennas to heaven

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Neocities: An excited discovery for me, The Archeologist of the Old Internet ✨️

Hello everyone, today I want to share this discovery of mine for all of you who are missing the Geocities. This project called Neocities is a social network with free hosting to create sites and blogs, exactly what Geocities was.

This project is not new, it was created in 2013, but I only found out about it because of a discussion on Twitter about how social media nowadays sucks and people in the comments were giving alternatives and a blessed person mentioned this project.

I certainly haven't had a blog/website in almost a decade, but a blog/website hosted on Geocities must be over a decade, so I definitely want to join the community. One of the things I liked to know is that a lot of people actively use Neocities and even young people who haven't had contact with Geocities are using it.

I just haven't created it yet because.... I don't really know what I want to do with it. I like a lot of things, I like to talk about a lot of things, so I really don't know lmao.

Well, that's it. An alternative for those who want to go back to what social media was like in the 90s/00s and a chance for nostalgic people to remember what it was like to use Geocities to connect with people. Speaking of which... hey Neocities! 👋 what if... you sponsor me!✨️ Just saying... you know, just giving a friendly suggestion...

~ The Archeologist