Ha Ha. I’m Out Now Because The Host Had A Mental Breakdown And Now I’m Super Dysphoric Cause I’m

So, the host’s boyfriend came and talked to us, made sure we were okay, that was cool. I ended up talking it out and feeling much better afterwards.

So that’s nice.

-renfield

I’m out and masking so hard, even though we’re among friends who are aware I’m just not super comfortable.

And let me tell you, masking a British accent in an American environment is so not the best.

Especially when everyone keeps asking you if you’re okay cause a second ago the host was out having a panic attack.

This is my life at the moment.

-renfield

So these tags were on my post about amnesia. And I want to address it. Short answer, no you do not. You need blackout amnesia (assuming that’s what you meant by full amnesia) in order to have DID.

DID is not the only way to have a system, OSDD 1-b has very little or no amnesia and still has alters, so does p-DID.

Though I do want to differentiate between the different types of amnesia.

Emotional amnesia: where you don’t remember any emotions that you were feeling during the event.

Greyouts: when you remember what happened but have no memories of it, as if someone told you about the event but you weren’t there.

Blackouts: when you don’t remember anything about what happened, and you often don’t remember that you missed something.

I’d also like to mention that amnesia often doesn’t happen in the moment, often the memory will fade over a short period of time until they’re gone. At least that’s what I experience.

Anyways, here you are @sprites-your-cal

Hope this helped

-Apollo

I hate it when the host wears a skirt and then I switch in and have to deal with it. Like come on, I don’t want to see my legs, what do you take me as?

-Hunter

New metaphor for a systemhood just dropped!

Our friend said something that got us thinking of this. I always use a spaceship (the millennium falcon specifically because it’s well known and fits the metaphor) but this one works pretty well too.

Your body is a computer. Most of the time it works best when a single person is using it (fronting), and sometimes it’s helpful to have someone else in the room watching you work and make suggestions though it can also be annoying and distracting (co-con). And there are also a lot of computers —though not all— that allow you to connect multiple game controllers to them in order to play a game with someone (co-fronting), when someone is doing this it often makes it more difficult to do certain things ,like typing, until you go back to a single user —the same way that co-fronting can be complicated and messy.

And being a computer, sometimes there are glitches. And it’s sometimes best to let someone else who is more equipped and tech savvy take over to solve the issue (switching under stress) and that moment where no one is actively using the mouse or keyboard the computer doesn’t do anything (heavy dissociation while switching). It’s also important to note that there are multiple people using the same computer, and they all prioritize different things, so a lot of time important files and information may be deleted by someone who deems it’s not necessary to keep or is better off unknown (amnesia).

If anyone thinks of a point to make please lmk, I’d love to add to it. Other than that, hope you guys find a good use for this metaphor and that it helps you give a singlet a better understanding.

Before you judge me, please read the whole thing.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s definitely true that fictives aren’t their source, and you can’t judge a fictive based on their source, that being said, isn’t it okay for a fictive struggling with being triggered by source trauma to set healthy boundaries?

It’s like if you have medical trauma and you don’t like going to the doctors because of a bad experience. You aren’t saying that all doctors are evil because you don’t want to get a check up. You’re just admitting that you aren’t in a healthy spot to deal with that trauma or any reminders of it.

There are definitely situations where people misuse the “DNI” and make blanket statements, but I believe it’s totally plausible to believe fictives aren’t their source, and still put down a boundary to help you feel okay.

If that boundary is put down so you can villainize alters with specific sources, then yeah you’re being problematic. But otherwise I see no issue with distancing yourself from something triggering for you

"fictives aren't their source" and "(source) fictives DNI" do NOT belong in the same bio.

Having to choose between being awake and feeling like crap or being tired at but not dizzy and lightheaded because caffeine and heart problems don’t mix.

Spoiler alert, I went ahead and drank the caffeine. Feel like crap but at least I’m not dozing off.

-Apollo

Tw: suicide attempt-hospitalization-mental health

Continue at your own expense

So, we’ve been gone for a bit. Our depressive episode came to a head, and we downed a months worth of our antidepressants and ended up on a ventilator in the ICU. We were in the hospital for 6 days before getting transferred to a psych unit where we spent another 8 days.

Everything before the OD is incredibly blurry. All of our memories feel farther away than they are and we keep getting confused on what happened when, not too far from the norm but much worse than usual. That mixed with the chronic back pain from lying in bed for six days means we are far from recovered.

That being said, I want to thank those who have supported me thus far. Even though most of them will never see this, I want everyone to know that none of them have given up on me, and they have all gone above and beyond to help me in anyway they can. I am so beyond appreciative for those who have stood by me despite my stupid decision making.

One of the reasons I’m posting this is to have a timeline of when things happened to look back on, but also so I don’t forget how many people have helped me.

-Apollo

[Text: This system is really good at masking, and it doesn't make them any less of a system.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

Ha ha, doctor’s appointment in the morning to see if I have a chronic disease. Let’s see how this goes.

-Apollo