Pictures Like These Keep Me Alive.

3 am motivation

Guys, do NOT get motivated at 3 am!!! (gone wrong)

Yeah so basically, it's a little tragic to think about. Why do we get it? I can't say I know with certainty, but it's either that we run out of distractions and our brain thinks it's finally time to be productive (which is sad in the way watching a puppy try to play with a cat that's not having it, is sad). The other reason is that our brain doesn't want to send the motivation until it feels confident enough that you won't actually do it, so it does it late at night when you want to sleep. In this case, that's just a serious lack of self-dicipline where it feels uncomfortable to do something productive due the Feeling of Resistance.

I do think it's the first one, which sadly is the less straightforward one of the two to solve. I don't know exactly how to overcome it, but I do know that I have overcome it myself, so it is possible. Make your own conclusions on this one, I'll just explain how productive work usually goes for me (when it goes right)

I get something assigned. I mentally make a note of it, when it's due, and how long it will take.

Later on, I decide when to do it. This may be immedeately after the first step but not always.

5-15 minutes before it's time to do the task, I pull it up and ready myself for it. This basically just means reading up on it, remembering what it's about, and letting my subconsious work a little.

Here's where I usually get that motivation. While I technically don't have to get started yet, I will often pick up on a good way to start, and decide to go immedeately. The entire feeling of resistance is eliminated and the work ends up not being that difficult.

When the time for the task has come, I clear my mind and start working. If I don't know how to get started (meaning that no sudden burst of flow and motivation hit me), I write something terrible until it gets me on a road of productivity, and then I fix the start later.

For the record: This does not always work. At all. Litterally today, as I was writing this, I should have been getting started on an assignment.

So yeah probably don't believe anything you hear me say, the hell do I know.

Love, as always, from Anthony

There's a reason for that, you know. When the body is near death, the brain decides that ultimately, it wants to not die, and so it goes into a special, extremely harmful state where it presses every body on the keyboard and releases as many positive chemicals it can, to try and keep itself awake. What you are doing is effectively the same as huffing gasoline. You are getting high on your body's very last survival mechanism to try and prevent a total organ shutdown. And you enjoy it.

if u starve for long enough u start feeling like ur high sometimes its my fav thing ever

This, this is the guy.

I’m gonna be so forreal, seeing your posts makes me feel depressed lol bc I’m just spending most of my time inside and I dont have any friends

My friend let me just say that this world is as equally rich in color and experience when alone as it is in good company. I can count on one hand the amount of people who I believe truly care for me and beyond them I would rather spend my days alone with a guitar or a good book or maybe just a long walk. Also to be quite honest, all of social media including my own is compiled of brief snapshots and highlight reels and rarely do we include any indication of the many hours spent rotting away on a phone or in emotional turmoil. All that to be said I guess my point is life waits for you, both in your mind and outside your door. I hope you find your way into it and in the process meet a few good people to cherish it with.

Why do people worry when life is so simple?

Just do the best you can as much as you can and let the rest be.

What the hell is going on

Of all the time periods I have played, I have never been more flabbergasted than the 2010's. It's not the most glorious experience I have had - My first invasion of France in 1870 had Ride of the Valkyries playing at the perfect moment, nothing will top that. It's also not the most miserable experience I have had - The first day of the battle of Kursk led to me not being able to sleep, and hallucinating about looping artillery loaders that didn't work. I did not enjoy the 1400's in the first place.

So what the fuck is going on man. There is not a single intuitive system in this period. And I don't even own the DLC yet. Litterally before the game starts it's confusing. Why is there a gender that is shown as being unavailable if you don't have DLC? That's a new low, even for this game. Also, from what I can tell, the other animals are just there to lead up to you playing the "human" game which doesn't have a goal. The 'goals' seems to be a tiny recommendation/quest that tells you what to do, but half the time it's almost exclusively just "survive and recreate" or based around some gimmick that the engine now supports.

I have about 192 thousand years on the game now, and I've finished 2 campaigns, one on Japan and one on South Sudan. I've also played the other, larger economies but never to completion.

So here are my questions, and though they are meant as rambling, feel free to answer them if you want to.

Why do I chronically lack homes? Wait, actually, no, its: Why do my construction companies not turn a profit even if I'm missing like 1200 homes a week? Wait, wait, I got it now, what I'm really asking is: Why the FUCK do my markets have the most chronic, incurable and penetrating case of tectumitis I have ever witnessed in my fucking life? I can build 30, 40, no 60 high density urban spaces in a fucking row, they will all be at full occupancy, I have them on the 3rd method (the one where they live with children but not extended family), and I just look at the housing deficit growing, what the fuck does it all mean!?

What the hell is an 'economic strategy', and why does the game take such fucking pride in relaying the information that the USA's attitude has changed and is now protectionary (previously aloof)? From what I can tell, this changes NOTHING about their behaviour, their liberty desire, or their worth to me, neither as a nation or as a person.

How. The hell. Did they reduce race relations to that. And get away with it. And you know what? I prefer it! I genuinely fucking do. I love the 1840's as much as they next KKK member, or whatever, but being able to just determine overall race relations in an area based on a series of numbers, rather than the horrendously complex musical culture of the last, is nice. No idea if it's a better system if you actually want to minimize the penalties of bad race relations, but a more comprehendable text nonetheless.

How the hell do I manage pollution? I make the carbon capturing places, i bankroll the fucking technologies, i ask for the fucking good news, but they aint coming, chief.

THE ETERNALLY SHRINKING MIDDLE CLASS SYSTEM IS THE BANE OF MY MISERABLE, UNWELCOME EXISTANCE. YOU FUCKERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

The government bonds system is a great way to make me take time out of managing the index funds to make more loans that i at best have a 50/50 chance of paying off without MORE loans? What was the idea behind this mechanic? That I planned out the long term national budget? That I was prepared for the annual expenses of my country?? They jump up and down like a frog on cocaine. It's just an annoyance, forces the player to waste their time constantly fucking sending them to the top of the queue, and serves zero purpose other than that.

And finally, most of all: how. the. fuck. does. the. economy. work. you know what? I dont wanna know. Dont fucking write it. the gdp, the PLC's, the tourists(when there are any), will remain a mystery and i dont ever want to lay eyes on THAT GODFORDAMMED GDP LINE EVER AGAIN.

And this was supposed to be a BUILD-UP DECADE!? What the hell happens in the next one, then?

On temptation

Temptation is a word that is loved to death by christians, but is actually used to describe any old impulse the body or mind may have. Temptation is wanting to eat all the time. Temptation is the desire to lay in bed on a monday morning. Temptation, temptation, temptation. The thing is, though, that temptation also has a different meaning, which is the 'actual' definition of it: Being tempted (be it by yourself or others) to do some thing. Horrible explanation, so let me use an example: If you want to stop cracking your knuckles, a christian would say that cracking your knuckles is a form of temptation. But I would say (not from stoicism in particular) that temptation was the feeling you get when you don't crack your knuckles and you then start wanting to. That's temptation. This kind of temptation is directly linked to dicipline, and it can be used to train your dicipline.

Instead of avoiding temptation, you have to expose yourself to it in a controlled amount. If you just supress your desires (which come from a natural place way most of time), you will not achieve anything and it will bounce back some way or another. But if you instead tempt yourself on purpose, imagining and telling yourself how easy it would be, you will build up your own dicipline, especially if/when your brain takes it up as a habit in itself. Train it up, see what happens!

Imagine if animals made those documentaries about us.

"Here we see, a Homo Sapiens. This one is out hunting for a meal tonight."

(Camera pans to a prime cut of meat)

"The ribeye steak is a delicious temptation"

(Human looks in his wallet) "The human uses his frontal lobe to calculate whether or not he can afford it. The human brain is very overengineered, and takes more than 20.000 factors into consideration at every decision."

(Human closes his wallet) "Hm. Perhaps not in the budget right now. This human is running out of time. The store closes at eight, and if his children are to make it through the night, they need sustainance. Normally, their mothers milk would provide for them, but due to Dolfin-made contaminents, most human-breasts are clogged with microplastics."

(A few shots of human kids looking cute)

While you're right, entirely right, the thing is It shouldn't even be a 'i have to do x' in the first place. You should always get a reason for doing what it is that you are doing, otherwise dicipline will just be associated with negative feelings, and by that point it's back to square one of why we even go through the motions. The ironic exception is training dicipline itself, for which tasks that are inherently unnecessary are great.

You gotta want to do it, or failing that, at least convince yourself the task has meaning (If you're good enough at the skill of self-convincing, "getting the task done" can be meaning enough, too). Personally I just don't aknowledge the feeling of "I don't want to''. "I don't wanna go buy groceries" "Ah that's alright do it anyways"

So I guess what I really mean isn't that you can't recognise your own wish not to do something, but instead that you recognise it and just do the task instead of spending that expensive mental energy convincing yourself you HAVE to do it for your or someone elses sake.

Still, getting a free reason to want to do your tasks are a great thing, and is a boon you should cherish while you have it.

Why I think self-pity is the bane of our joy

Stoicism is an old philosophy which is only now starting to have a modern rennecaince with new ideas and concepts. This is great, because it allows us to develop brand new doctrine to fit the world around us, and terrible, because it means we don't have the answer for everything. However, one of the things that are being explored the most as of now is self-pity. This is a very prevalent state of mind in the western world, where it has become so common to complain about the small things that it can seem almost competitive.

Our ability to complain has combined with our ever-rising standard of living to create cartoonish complaints that we are gasping to share with the world around us, who are trying to voice their complaints. As Vers writes: "Alle kalder ud, men ingen gider at svare" (Everybody needs to be heard, but nobody is willing to listen). This has lead Neils Overgaard, a man I deeply respect and look up to, to create what he calls the "immigrant test": Basically, you take whatever thing is bothering you in the moment, and you imagine that you have to tell it to a mother of 5 children who has left Sudan, crossed the Sahara, been illegally exported across the Mediterranean, and finally landed in Greece, ready to live out the rest of her life at the lowest bottom of our society. Your task is now to look her in the eyes, and tell her about the problem that is letting you down, and if you think you can do that, THEN it is worth thinking about.

Self-pity is not the same as complaining, though. I would argue that self-pity is what happens when you systematically feel rightious to complain and the world around you validates this feeling. And what you're doing on a psychological level is train your mind to focus on the negatives and hold on to them, so that you can pass them on to others. Surely, my friends, a brain that only notices and focuses on the bad things is not a happy one, right?

So how do YOU avoid self-pity and the need to complain in general? Well, you're not out of options (though it may be tempting to say that you are). In this post, my advice will be to FORTIFY. Back in the day, people used to say "man up", but that's kinda turned into a toxic thing that means "push it down", and it's also only for men. So now we have the new word "fortify", which is much better. How do you fortify? That's up to you, but it should ultimately make you a more emotionally resilient person. Focusing on the next step can be a great way of fortifying, for example:

Your car breaks down on your way to work. You are going to be late. Do you: A. Have your mood be ruined over the situation, complain to your boss when they ask you why you are late, and get pissy when you get the repair bill? B. Accept that the situation is out of your hands, focus on getting your car towed and finding another way to get to work, and calmly explain to your boss that your car broke down and you still showed up ready to work?

It's entirely up to you, but option B is not only a calmer, more pleasant way to handle the situation, but it also makes you a more resilient being in the future, because your brain will recognise your handling of the situation and be calmer the next time something unpredictable comes up, thus marking the start of a good spiral.

There will be more in the next post, to make it easier to digest.

Love you all! - Anthony