So This Realization Came To Me Like A Fucking Lightning Bolt, And I Submit For Your Approval…

“One with the Force, they are, and our job it is to remember that we will, in time, also pass on. Luminous beings are we, but temporary vessels, our bodies are. And we shall all find ourselves here, in time. A moment of silence, I ask—to remember, and to move on.”

Question: Who wants a stupid AU idea?

Answer: Presumably you, since you're on my blog and that's about the only thing I write.

This AU contains references to sexual activity and not-quite-cannibalism, as well as attempted child murder (Obi-Wan's canon early padawanship)

So you know all those "Stewjoni are valued as sex slaves because they're dual sex and possibly mild empaths" AUs?

I want "Stewjoni are carnivorous species who are very attractive human-seeming individuals, but specifically as a hunting mechanism to draw in and trick prey, like mimic spiders."

(Someone on discord said 'like succubi?' and no. Nope. Succubi fuck to death. They gain energy from the act of sex. Stewjoni just fucking eat people.)

(Well, not anymore. It's impolite.)

(They have animal alternatives now.)

Obi-Wan is a very, very attractive man and all those things about his genitalia and sexual proficiency are true! But try to enslave a Stewjoni at your own peril, they're more disarming then a Zeltron and, unlike the Zeltron, their first instinct will be to eat you.

Does he eat people? Well, not usually! There are some close calls on Bandomeer and Melida/Daan, but he's not old enough to really be at full sexy yet, and "cute enough that nobody will hurt me because I'm baby" doesn't work on Xanatos (because darksider) or the Melida/Daan adults (because they're already killing so many kids).

He comes very, very close on Rattatak.

I want to say he rips someone's throat out with his teeth while undercover as Hardeen and Dooku is just very ?????????? about it. He thought this was undercover Kenobi but now he's not so sure because Kenobi would never be so uncivilized, right?

(It does put a different spin on him threatening to eat that shark dude.)

Anakin: You don't know what it's like to struggle with the Dark, Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan: Every time I have sex my hindbrain is whispering to me that I should eat my partner. It's not the same thing, but I can relate on it a bit.

Obi-Wan: My natural prey is humans. Anakin: ...what. [some time later] Ahsoka: I'm a carnivore! Obi-Wan: Ah, you're in good company. Ahsoka: ...? Anakin: He eats people. Obi-Wan: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.

Obi-Wan: I am naturally inclined to eat people but I have never in my life done so on account of having been taught the innate value of life, and particularly that of a sapient beings, since toddlerhood. Anakin: I remember you ripping a man's face open with your teeth and eating the flesh you tore off as a power play when I was fifteen. Obi-Wan: I WAS IN HANDCUFFS AND HE WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU.

(Anakin 100% did not know that Obi-Wan wasn't human when Obi-Wan bit the dude's face off.)

Gelpenss: Obi-Wan very much wants to eat humanoids and unfortunately they ping his brain BEFORE the alternatives. He has NO innate dissuasion at the thought of eating human.

Atagotiak: Like, Anakin had realized Obi-Wan is more carnivorous than the baseline human, but... this is new. Anakin: Why didn't you tell me before? Obi-Wan: You were tiny! And Anxious! I didn't want you to think I might eat you!

I have no idea if Obi-Wan managed to distract Maul with the sexy. I assume he tried but did not succeed, just because that would be too much power, but it would be very funny if he did. Probably failed, though, and Qui-Gon's still dead. 😔

Qui-Gon insisted on Obi-Wan doing lots of meditation on the innate value of life throughout the entire padawancy.

Thiam. I can see that

Imagine Your OTP

Person A is sick and high on cough medicine. Person B is taking care of them. 

Person A: “Wow, you are really hot”

Person B: “Wait, what did you say”

Person A: “I said “Oh no, I’m covered in snot” 

Person B: “Okaaaaaaay” 

Endou and his world(s)

Just some random idea that was asking me to draw itself very hard… the caption for it in my folder was simply “gay” gjdg 

Monstrous Love

~

Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous // Fortesa Latifi, We Want To Be Ruined // Mashmello, Silence // Richard Siken, A Primer of the Small Weird Loves // Guillermo del Toro, Crimson Peak // Leah Reader, Black Iris // Azra T., via thelovejournals // Florence and the Machine, Howl // Helen Cixous, Stigmata: Escaping Texts // Casey MxQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue // Georges Bataille // Charlotte Bronte, in a letter to Ellen Nussey // Yves Olade, Bloodsport // Andria Zabala, Coffee and Cigarettes // Caitlyn Siehl, Start Here 

The Rig Kids

- Sol’yn : male, 49 yrs - Bantryc : male, 48 yrs - Nadovin : male, 47 yrs - Lanodi : male, 45 yrs - Udenin : male, 44 yrs - Torlaar : male, 43 yrs - Shereshoy : male, 42 yrs - Jate’kanin : male, 40 yrs - Rozanin : female, 39 yrs

The proud parents 👇👇👇 Akyrca (left) and Zauden (right) have a full house of Mando badasses

happy birthday kazemaru (feb 1st)

I love any and all handmaiden content so if you happen to write said Empire-era Padme and Handmaidens 👀 👀 👀 👀

empire-era sabédala though??

oh my gosh

Can’t stop thinking about them

"Lucky" Seven - Chapter 3 - Anitzei_Neko - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]