Natural History In Zoological Gardens, By Frank E. Beddard. Illustration By Winifred Austen. 1905.

REBLOG if you have amazing talented artist friends!

my "i don't need a rabies shot because i eat the vaxx-laced meatballs that fish & wildlife leaves out for the coyotes" shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

This is an Australian sponge crab. I can’t

the unfortunate thing abt life is sometimes you Do have to wait for the bus in the rain and if you were a specific brand of annoying in 2012/13 this is significant

major traffic incident

People who like mantises but aren't that into entomology are always "orchid mantises" this and "orchid mantises" that. Overrated. Can we talk about Toxodera integrifolia for a minute:

(Image links because as much as it pains me I've never seen one of these beauties irl: 1 2 3)

Like how are these things real. Girl what is that thorax shape. Why are you wearing eyeliner. And the colors? Absolutely fire. This is a 10/10 insect if you ask me.

starting tomorrow i will be a real person in this world

The artist Paweł Ponichtera seems to have inexplicably dedicated a massive amount of time and effort to hyper-detailed and hyper-accurate illustrations of chinchillas engaged in historical fencing, many with clear and specific reference to particular historical treatises. So, I give you:

Hans Talhoffer Chinchillas

Harnisfechten Chinchillas

Joachim Meyer Longsword Chinchillas

Fantastical Snail Marginalia Chinchillas

Olympic Epee Chinchillas

Salvator Fabris Rapier-in-the-Nude Chinchillas

Napoleonic Saber Chinchillas

Arabic Shamshir Chinchillas

18th Century Smallsword Chinchillas

I.33 Sword and Buckler Chinchillas