i love saying “i’m being normal about it” bc i’m actually a filthy fucking liar and i’ve never been normal about anything a single day in my life
❝ love ends in blood . . . ❞
❝ at least it does for dean winchester. ❞
dean's hands tremble as they make contact with your body, his eyes brimmed with tears as he took in your injured state.
"shh, baby girl it's okay..you'll be fine–" his words came out breathy, "we'll get you fixed up, good as new, angel." you heard a crackle in his normally gruff voice.
with all the strength you could muster, you brought up your palm to his cheek. the once warm touch was growing cold. you knew the end was nearing, and dean couldn't grasp onto the thought of life without you. his palms unlike yours were warm, but not from his body heat—blood.
you were bleeding out rapidly, in no way would you ever be able to stay alive for long. you tried to speak, yet nothing came out. you knew dean would try everything to bring you back—he could never let the dead stay dead—and you didn't want that.
"no, please, honey.." his bottom lip trembled and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.
dean couldn't let you go, not when you were his anchor, his life line, his everything. but he knew deep down if you were to die, you didn't want to be brought back. and damn if he didn't want to push that aside and let his own selfishness take over; he just couldn't and if this was your wish, so be it.
his forehead came to rest on yours, noses touching as he planted a soft kiss on your lips. your eyes once bright with life now dark. his tears fell onto your face, his eyes shutting as he holds you for the last time. his clothes were stained with your blood, his skin dyed a crimson red. he held you close as the life faded from your figure.
sobs wracked through his body as he came to realize you were truly gone.
sunny yaps! oh hey guys.. heh just stopping by to put this here!! 😽
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my girl nervous as hell, brought her journal on stage, hat fell off, put down her grammy and talked abt how badly her label fucked her over when they signed her as a minor and dropped her over covid instead of sucking up to the grammys I LOVE CHAPPELL ROAN ❤️🔥❤️🔥
I pray everyday that I don’t die whilst tumblr is logged into my phone.
I’d be so embarrassed from the grave if someone went through my tumblr and found everything I’ve written, liked, reblogged, etc. 😭
I’d like to keep my freak a secret
you’re nursing a beer, your legs pulled up to sit cross-legged as you lean back on your palms. dean’s beside you, his own bottle dangling loosely in his fingers. his knee rests against yours, this simple, casual point of connection, but it’s enough to ground you. his shoulders are relaxed, his legs stretched out long, but there’s something... off. you can feel it in the way his gaze keeps drifting, how he’s not quite looking at you or anything in particular. he’s lost in his own head, and you’ve been with him long enough to know that’s rarely a good thing.
“you’ve been quiet tonight,” you say, finally breaking the silence. your voice is soft, not accusing, but the words seem to snap him out of whatever spiral he was falling into. he glances at you, his green eyes flickering in the dim light, and he huffs out a little laugh. it’s small, almost self-deprecating, and he looks away again, his jaw tightening.
“just thinkin’, sweetheart,” he murmurs, taking a swig of his beer.
you tilt your head, watching him. “about what?”
he hesitates, running his free hand through his hair, and the gesture makes your stomach tighten. whatever it is, it’s big. he’s not usually this careful about his words—dean winchester isn’t careful about much, period—but right now, he looks like a man standing on the edge of something.
“can i ask you somethin’?” he says, finally, and his voice is quieter now, more raw.
“of course,” you reply immediately, setting your beer aside. you shift closer, your knee pressing more firmly against his, your hand resting on the cool metal of the car between you. “what’s on your mind?”
he exhales slowly, staring down at the bottle in his hands. for a second, you think he’s not going to say anything. then, all at once, the words come out.
“you ever think about havin’ kids?”
the question hits you like a punch to the gut—not because it’s unwelcome, but because it’s so unexpected. you blink at him, your lips parting, and he finally looks at you, his expression guarded. like he’s bracing for you to laugh at him, or worse, to shut him down completely.
“kids?” you repeat, just to make sure you heard him right.
“yeah,” he says, his voice gruff, like the word’s hard for him to get out. “like... not right now, obviously, but... someday. you ever think about it?”
your mouth opens, then closes. you glance at him, searching his face for any clues about where this is coming from. it’s not like dean’s ever been the white-picket-fence type. hell, you’re not even sure if you’re the white-picket-fence type, given the life you lead. but there’s something in his eyes, something vulnerable and almost... hopeful, that makes your chest ache.
“i don’t know,” you say honestly. “i guess i haven’t thought about it much, with everything going on. it’s not exactly easy to picture that kind of future, you know?”
he nods, like he was expecting that answer, but there’s still this shadow of disappointment in his expression. “yeah. yeah, i get that,” he mutters, tipping back his beer for another sip.
you watch him for a moment, your mind racing. he doesn’t bring up stuff like this lightly—hell, he barely even talks about his feelings unless you pry them out of him. but this? this is something he’s been holding onto, turning over in his mind, and now he’s laid it at your feet like some kind of fragile offering.
“why are you asking?” you ask gently, leaning closer. “is this something you’ve been thinking about?”
he lets out a low laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “yeah,” he admits, running a hand down his face. “i don’t know, it’s stupid. just... sometimes i think about what it’d be like. teachin’ a kid how to throw a football. takin’ ‘em for a drive in baby when they’re old enough. tryin’ to be the kind of dad mine never was.”
the confession is raw, almost painful, and you feel it settle heavy in your chest. dean’s voice drops lower, like he’s afraid of saying it out loud. “i mean, i know it’s a pipe dream, with the way we live. but... if it ever happened, you know? with you... i think i’d want that.”
his words hang in the air between you, and your heart stutters. with you. the way he says it, so quiet, so certain, makes something twist inside you. you reach out, your fingers brushing his arm. he looks up at you, his expression cautious, like he’s waiting for you to tell him he’s crazy.
“dean,” you say softly, “you’d be an incredible dad.”
he snorts, shaking his head, but you tighten your grip on his arm, making him look at you. “i mean it,” you insist. “you’re already so good with sam, and jack... hell, you take care of everyone around you, whether you realize it or not. you’ve got more love in you than you give yourself credit for.”
his jaw clenches, and he looks away, but not before you catch the flicker of emotion in his eyes. “you really think that?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“i know it,” you say firmly, leaning in closer. “and if that’s something you want... someday... then yeah. i think i’d want that too. with you.”
his head snaps toward you, his eyes wide, and for a second, he just stares at you. then, without warning, he leans in, his hand sliding to the back of your neck as his lips crash against yours.
the kiss is desperate, messy, like he’s been holding himself back for too long and finally let the dam break. his fingers thread through your hair, holding you close as his mouth moves against yours, hot and demanding. you gasp into him, your hands grabbing at his shirt, pulling him closer, needing him like you need air.
his tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, and you open for him, letting him in. he groans into your mouth, the sound vibrating through you, and it’s like a switch flips. suddenly, you’re climbing into his lap, straddling him as his hands grip your hips, pulling you flush against him. the heat of him, the way his stubble scrapes against your skin, the sheer wantpouring off of him—it’s overwhelming in the best way.
he breaks away for a second, his forehead pressing against yours as you both catch your breath. his hands are still on your hips, holding you there like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. “you have no idea how much i love you,” he murmurs, his voice rough and low, sending shivers down your spine.
“i think i have a pretty good idea,” you tease, your lips brushing against his as you speak. he laughs softly, the sound muffled as he kisses you again, slower this time, but just as consuming.
the future might be uncertain, but right now, with dean’s arms wrapped around you, his lips on yours, you think maybe, just maybe, you’ve found something worth holding onto.
“What if I write it and it’s bad-”
WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????
the silence after i realize i can’t marry dean winchester