“what Are You Reading?”

Theodore Roosevelt listed Ulysses S Grant as one of the greatest Americans in history (alongside Washington and Lincoln). This was said in 1900.

Only fifty-so years later, President Dwight Eisenhower would state that Robert E Lee was one of the greatest Americans of all time. 

This post is not an assassination of Lee or his character-- that’s not the point of this. What I am curious about is how this reverence of Grant, who played a key point in keeping our country together and helping African Americans get the right the vote during his Presidency, could then turn so sharply to a reverence of Robert E Lee (a man who, despite his personal disapproval of secession, still fought on behalf of the Confederacy). This strange twisting of reverence is a clear example of the Lost Cause narrative taking root.

We weren’t taught much about Grant’s Presidency during Social Studies/History class. We barely touched on him as a General in the Civil War, except as the man who was called The Butcher and who drank a lot. 

So my question is just how much has this Lost Cause infiltrated our own History books?

Jenny ran into the mysterious woman quite by accident in the streets of the planet Earth, which she had learned through her various journeys that her father often frequented. It was a busy, curious place, this third rock from the sun, and she thought maybe she could understand why he liked it so much.

“Oh! Excuse me, seems I lost track of where my feet were going. Entirely my fault.”

The woman was dressed rather oddly, with a long lilac-colored overcoat and a dark shirt with suspenders. But it was the large eyes staring back at her that caught her attention the most. They were old. Incredibly old. Old, and wise, and shining with an inner fire that Jenny instantly recognized. 

And the woman seemed to know she would run into Jenny, because she quite simply held out a hand and handed her a bouquet of flowers.

“Violets,” she explained. “They represent remembrance. And I never forgot about you for a day, Jenny.”

An electric shock seemed to shiver down Jenny’s spine. It would be too cliche to ask how this woman knew her name; besides, she began to suspect she knew already. She barely dared to hope. It should be impossible. 

Shouldn’t it?

“Who are you?” She asked anyway, because those eyes were too familiar even if they weren’t the deep brown she remembered. 

And the woman smiled, a wide unfettered smile. “I’m the Doctor.”

The Last Jedi Sin #12

I was hesitant to name this post this title because I know how easily it turns people off to reading the post, but honestly, that is what this is and honestly, this one is really worth the read.

It is The Last Jedi Sin #12.

12. Plot-Driven Characters

Up until yesterday night, I didn’t know how to describe what was bothering me so much about TLJ in the respect I will be talking about in a few. It was just “wrong” and “unconvincing” because honestly, what Rian chose to do to these characters is rarely done.

Why? you ask

because this isn’t how you write, Rian!

When I was a Senior in HS, I had skipped a grade, but was taking college classes nonetheless. One of the classes I was taking was English 101 from a local college for dual high school and college credit. At the same time, I was taking English 102 from another local college. One of the first things I learned in my college classes, after y’know…being told them for years, was that good stories are driven by strong characters. This was reinforced when I elected to take Screenwriting 101 when I was a Sophomore in college. The plot is something that happens as a result of what a character does or fails to do. Of course, sometimes you have to push a character to push forward the plot…that’s a necessity of character development, but it has to feel natural and the plot has to feel like it was meant to happen. It has to make sense. The build-up to the climax has to feel as seamless as possible and plot is really to bend around the characters…

Not the other way around.

Did Rian not get that memo? Did like…no one tell him?

What bothers me so much, and is, in fact, The Last Jedi Sin #12 is that the whole movie of The Last Jedi is the plot driving the characters and not the characters driving the plot. It’s hard to describe, but I’m going to do my very best.

In The Original Trilogy, the protagonists and antagonists have a certain dynamic. Vader and Sidious have a master-apprentice relationship, but almost like equals. Luke, Han, and Leia have the friendship dynamic. Luke and Vader, however, have a very different dynamic because they are father and son and are the “Functional Skywalkers” of the Trilogy. (This is not meant to sideline Leia…it’s just that her dynamic with her father was not established until late into VI so the dynamic was overshadowed by Luke and Vader’s that was established as early as the end of IV, but formally established in the middle of V.) 

Vader and Sidious wanted to control the whole galaxy and worked their asses off to destroy the Resistance. Luke, Leia, and Han were members of the Resistance and Resistance heroes; Luke was a Jedi and was bestowed a legacy upon him. The dynamic that really pushed forward the entire saga was the relationship of Luke Skywalker to Darth Vader. 

The plot of the entire Star Wars OT was to redeem Anakin Skywalker, establish Luke Skywalker as a hero, and bring balance to the galaxy, all of which was accomplished, but could only have been accomplished through the dynamic that was Luke being the son of Darth Vader, taking the legacy of his father upon himself, believing in the goodness of his father, and being the strong, emotional, loving, faithful character he was. It could only have been accomplished because Darth Vader still had a heart and cared for his son more than he ever could care about power. 

The entirety of the Prequels was the fall of Anakin Skywalker. The PT was, truthfully, so character-driven, it may have been character-driven to a fault because they were so focused on getting Anakin’s descent to the Dark Side satisfying and “right” that other things seemed to be pushed to the background. The main villains in the PT weren’t the most intimidating, except for Palpatine/Sidious, dialogue was clunky and awkward, but for the most part, the Prequels did a decent job at clearly displaying the internal struggle of Anakin Skywalker to remain good in the face of his dark tendencies, intense emotions he couldn’t control, and disdain for the Jedi Council. 

Even TFA was a pretty character-driven story. JJ knew what to do, as much as few have faith in him. 

The Force really Awakened when Finn saved Poe from the clutches of Kylo Ren and chose to finish Poe’s mission by bringing BB-8 back to the Resistance. Along the way, he met Rey, a girl whose emotions were very strong, had a very hard life, and wanted nothing more than a family. TFA repeatedly reminded the audience that Rey needed to return to Jakku because of her family, but because she found a family in the Resistance, she went full speed ahead into helping them and finding the belonging she sought ahead of her. Kylo Ren’s intentions in the movie were clear: to find Luke Skywalker and presumably to kill him. Why? We allegedly find out why in TLJ, but it’s unbelievable at best. He also desired to “finish what his grandfather started”, which was always a very confusing motivation because we all know Anakin Skywalker defected and murdered the Emperor as his last act in his life.

I digress.

How does TLJ differ from the OT, PT, and TFA?

Aside from the fact nothing in the movie should have logically happened, which I keep saying again and again…things just inexplicably happen to these characters and they just respond to it. 

Like, the Resistance is suddenly on its last legs, so now Poe is a trigger-happy fly-boy and causes the death of lots of people.

Rose Tico sees Finn leaving the Resistance cruiser, so she tases him with no questions asked, thus resulting in this stupid side-quest on Canto Bight.

Rey hands Luke his lightsaber and he rejects it (which he never would have done), so she follows him around for days with literally nothing happening for the most part.

Kylo Ren and Rey have an inexplicable Force-Bond.

Like absolutely, a lot of those things happened because of what a character did, but these things just happen to these people. They react to it and we move on from it. It kinda dies as a concept as soon as someone reacts and by the end of the movie, the characterizations of all of the characters are basically unrecognizable, there was no plot, and we’re right back where we started…a return to normalcy.

Like Finn is exactly where he would have been without the trip to Canto Bight. Poe is exactly the same character. Rose Tico had little to no characterization in the first place. Kylo Ren is just as dark, if not a little darker. Luke’s character was assassinated. And Rey’s character regressed. Like…there was no point to this movie. 

I said at the beginning that “strong characters drive a plot”. With what was just said and is true, none of those characters are strong, especially the one that so desperately needs to be- Rey. Rian Johnson altered their characters from TFA and changed them so that it would fit his narrative. That is an astoundingly stupid move. Because not only are these characters now weak, but they are not even themselves anymore! So these characters, who we didn’t come to see, are not experiencing any character development, in a movie with no plot, are doing nothing. I’m literally watching a movie about nothing with nothing happening!

The Last Jedi was boring in every single way but visually because there was no plot. There was no character development. There was no point except super cool visuals. 

What drives a story is character development and a convincing plot based off of the characters, neither of which The Last Jedi had. 

It has tHiNgS happen, but nothing that actually pushed the trilogy-long plot. 

A lot of stuff happened in the Empire Strikes Back, like Lando in Cloud City with Darth Vader, Luke continues to train with Yoda and learn the ways of the Force, Han and Leia’s relationship happens, Han gets frozen in carbonite and given to Jabba, and whatnot. But what pushes the plot forward was the reveal that the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker’s father, is still alive as Darth Vader. But had Lando not kinda “sold out” his friends to Vader, which led to Han being frozen in carbonite, Luke would have never left Jedi training to save his friends and fight his father, which led to the reveal that he was his father. Most of things that happen in this movie support the advancement of the trilogy-plot.

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED IN THE LAST JEDI. 

The reveal, which could have been the turning point in the movie, making Rey a Skywalker or even a Kenobi, was shot to shit and actually regressed the plot because just when we thought we were getting somewhere, after the shitty central conflict of the Resistance running out of fuel and the slow-motion cat and mouse chase, Finn, Rose, and DJ’s failure and sell-out, we got literally nothing. Nothing supported any kind of plot because there was no plot to begin with. Rian was- objectively- trying to rip off ESB, but failed because he so desperately wanted to subvert fan expectations that he actually sacrificed his plot and characters so that he could be “edgy” and “different”. 

Just when the Kylo-Rey dynamic was beginning to really be grounded and justified, Rian decided “hell fucking no” so whatever plot he was trying to go for, whatever character development he was trying to push forward, whatever he was trying to have happen, literally crumbled in front of the audience’s eyes. 

The whole reason ESB was so good and the dynamic going into ROTJ was high-octane was because of the dynamic between father-son Vader-Luke. There were high stakes in place, there were risks involved, there was faith being tested with the legitimate possibility for validation, and Vader’s possibility of redemption. Luke and Vader’s lives were in jeopardy because of their relationship.

There is no dynamic between Rey and Kylo because they, yeah maybe sorta understand each other a little better, but they still hate each other. They allegedly have no relationship with one another whatsoever, so where are the stakes?!  Kylo betrayed Rey after getting her hopes up. Like I honestly don’t know what to say about this. 

I fear for the franchise because I don’t know how it can be saved at this point.

Rian Johnson wrote not only himself, but JJ Abrams into a corner.  

You can’t write a compelling narrative where nothing happens and the characters simply respond to what happens to them. You can’t write a compelling narrative based on no stakes and no character development. People get bored when nothing happens and nothing progresses. I’ve had children tell me that TLJ “finished the same way the last movie did”. If children, Disney’s target market, can see it, that’s catastrophic. 

This isn’t how writing works, Rian.

This. This right here. This is the Star Trek “creature” that when I was five scared me shitless. Doomsday Machine is probably my favorite ST episode of all but there’s just something about this planet killer that still sends a shiver down my spine despite looking like an oversized bugle chip. It looks so utterly non-human, just this giant hunk of cold rock and it pursues you with a gaping fiery maw. Yeah, nightmares abounded if I watched this episode too close to bedtime when I was a kid. As Kirk so aptly says at the end of the story, “I found one quite sufficient.”

Honestly, I love a lot of the humor in MASH, but I think my favorite moment is in S8E9 Mr & Mrs Who, when they play So Long It’s Been Good To Know Ya during the ceremony to dissolve Charles’ and Donna’s “marriage”.

u ever hear a drum beat that changes ur life

Only the Master would kill a future self, and only both versions of the Master would laugh about it.

On another note, I freaking ADORE Missy.

My older sister is really getting into Outlander now, I think.

This is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a very long time. Stories like these makes you rethink your desire to be an editor.

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved Ian Holm’s portrayal of Bilbo in the LotR trilogy, but it was really Martin Freeman’s rendition of the character that really made me fall in love with him, and let me finally finish The Hobbit book. I’d read LotR at ten years old and loved it, and despite trying to read The Hobbit, I simply couldn’t do get through it. Martin brought Bilbo to life for me that breathed life into him when I read the book and allowed me to understand the full beauty and fun of the character of Bilbo Baggins as written by the Professor.