One Of The Most Heartbreaking And Emotional Fics I Have Ever Read 😭

Day 2: Mental Disability - Autistic Ranpo

I didn't get to doing anything proper for this day, but Autistic Ranpo is featured heavily on Day 7, so keep an eye out for that. (this can sort of be read as the background for that post if you want to know what my personal interpretation is.)

Instead let's talk about some of my Autistic Ranpo Headcanons! (ft. Poe and emotional support animal Karl)

(these are my personal hcs based on my autistic experience and is not reflective of everyone's interpretation and experience of autism <3)

I think Ranpo went undiagnosed until several months of living with Fukuzawa. Because of Ranpo's intellect, no one ever really questioned the things he struggled with until Fukuzawa.

The first time Fukuzawa started thinking there might be something actually up (rather than Ranpo just being Ranpo) was the first time he properly got lost trying to navigate the subway. Ranpo ended up going missing for serval hours 4 towns over and Fukuzawa finally found him curled up on a bench having a meltdown.

Another thing that clued him in was food. Fukuzawa, trying to be the Responsible Adult™️, pushed a little too hard about not having so many sweets. It wasn't until there was a big blow-up fight about it that Fukuzawa understood that Ranpo wasn't just being picky.

It took a little time, but the two of them fell into a rhythm and Fukuzawa became a safe space for Ranpo.

Before the agency was set up properly, Fukuzawa kept stim toys and earplugs in his sleeves for whenever Ranpo needed them. (now he keeps them in his desk drawer)

After getting a diagnosis and settling into the agency, Ranpo manages his autism much better. The agency always has someone there to help him navigate, everyone respects him in spite of his childish demeanor, and he has a very set routine.

When things do get overwhelming, he still has places within the agency to calm down. Fukuzawa will always let him join him for tea in his office. Having made a bit of an adoptive sister in Yosano she let's him chill out in his office if he ever needs any down time (everyone's too scared of her to bother him when he's in there.)

The rest of the agency is good at accommodating him too. Kunikida has no problem using his ability to make stim toys or aids for him whenever they're out on a case. Dazai, while kind of a pain in the ass, gives him some good intellectual stimulation when they hang out that's hard for him to get elsewhere (they're besties you can't convince me otherwise). Atsushi carries around snacks for him. And everyone regardless of who they are will help him navigate transportation.

Eventually he also has Poe who he can either go to or call to come and bring Karl. The author has a really calming presence and having a soft animal to pet and play with always helps.

Speaking of Poe, their first interaction will always haunt him as one of his autistic blunders. Ranpo really respected him as a detective and wanted to complement his skills... but didn't quite realize comparing him to himself would sound like gloating. He's really glad to have met Poe again (even if it was through a 6 year revenge plot).

Poe also understands his autism in a way that most people don't, being autistic himself.

The first time Ranpo had a proper meltdown around Poe was before Ranpo had the chance to explain his autism to him. After calming down, Ranpo was super impressed with how Poe dealt with it and it led to a conversation about both of their experiences growing up and why Poe has Karl as his emotional support animal.

Ranpo also gets headaches frequently. He's never really found a cause, but he suspects his autism has something to do with it.

When he was young and lived with Fukuzawa, Fukuzawa would let him sleep with his head in his lap and play with his hair when things got bad. (He would still let him, but Poe does it most often now)

This got long 😅 but I hope you enjoyed! 💖

Not only do I think Dean’s autistic, but I think his autism masked his queerness.

I think Dean is a highly masking autistic who very early on learned to adapt his behavior to whatever would keep him safe or get a (hunting) job done.

And when his dad displayed disapproval of his bisexuality or feminine quirks? That was just another thing to mask and he was already good at it.

And this macho man womanizer? It’s his most useful autistic mask. It’s a role he’s practiced the most.

I also think that masking is why Dean is so good at hustling (that and maybe doing the micro expression overcompensating autistic thing).

Tips to Making sure your Characters have Different Personalities - Authoring Advice🎭

You have spent time creating each of your characters and yet you may realize that one of your characters seem suspiciously similar to another one of your creations. I have a few tips to help with this.

Hobbies/ Likes/ Preferences:

Maybe both of your characters speak indistinguishably, perhaps they both have the same backgrounds, or both have tempers. A little thing like giving them different favorite foods can go a long way. 

You can put your characters in the same situation or similar ones and show the audience their different reactions. Maybe your characters seem the same but the farther you get to know them, the more you realize you were wrong. People can be the same way.

Backgrounds:

No one has the same past and life as another person (except maybe a sibling but there’s very little chance sisters and brothers are very alike). Parents are different, cultures are unalike, homes are contrasting. 

Try giving your characters separate lives. Experiences shape personalities. 

Make them hate each other:

As strange as it might seem, making the characters hate each other worked surprisingly well for me. 

Maybe, over the simplest thing, they fight and argue. They might have a dark past, or there may be other causes. But arguments (even if its funny to read) distract from the similarities and cause the differences to be more prominent.  

(And besides, it sets up a good enemies to friends subplot. But it might not work for every character. I do not advice on making to many enemy relationships.) 

Contrast the physical appearances:

It’s just a thought, but maybe making the to people look distinctly different can divert readers attention to compare the two. 

“If they look unalike, then they must be.”

Have them be bestest friends:

This is the opposite of another point I made but these are all suggestions, you do not have to follow any of them, but this may be something you want to try.

Just like opposites attract, people who have a lot in common also take interest in one another. Readers may think you made the pair similar on purpose. Like you were trying to have them have similar personalities. 

(BUT do not have them exactly alike, this is just being lazy and should never happen. There are very few exceptions, and they all involve clones.)

Try again:

A very likely reason why your characters are similar is because you didn’t work on them enough. You may need to sit back down at your desk (or floor, that’s my favorite place) and try again.

Redo them completely if you must, or just add on to what you have. But if nothing that I or another person has suggested worked, then your not ready. Eventually your characters will become a perfect mess that they were destined for. 

cries mournfully. guess who's been reading fics lately JSDFKLSDKL

Lo and behold!! im back 😭

had work and then other life shit but we poppin now!

this was my girlfriends request,,, aka @berdteeth :)) love you bb ❤️💜❤️

Sup any angsty Apollo hc you have? I’m hungry and desperate for yummy angst to gobble up and cry myself to sleep :]

Okay, this took a little while because life, college, and July fourth happened lmao

So. I like to think about just when the purposeful emotional/psychological abuse started and when the physical abuse started between Zeus and Apollo so...TW for abuse talk.

Because, well, when Apollo was young there isn't really a need for Zeus to crack open the bolt - however, we also know from canon that Apollo was subjected to the bolt in his younger years.

Now. To the headcanons!!!!!

During the first thousand or so years of Apollo's life, Zeus was an actual good dad to him (especially compared to Ares). He spoiled both twins excessively because sweet! A couple of kids who aren't failures! Look at them!!! They're already so good with a bow!!! They're so talented!!!

In the Discord, it was mentioned that in Ancient Greece fathers usually took charge of their sons while the mother taught the daughters, so if we apply that to Apollo's life, I think we can assume that maybe, perhaps, there was some psychological abuse going on, but nothing hardcore - probably along the lines of "make me proud or earn my eternal disappointment" *points at Ares*.

The first time Zeus has to actively punish Apollo was because Gaea ordered it - Apollo killed her son Python, and Zeus (being the guy he is) would cave to her wishes. I actually have a fic in store for this convo so here's what I'm thinking:

Zeus would, of course, instantly point the blame at Gaea and deny he had any choice in the matter (even though he has gone against her wishes before...eyes the Titans in Tartarus).

Apollo, who's only paternal figure so far in his life is Zeus, wouldn't question this and only think about how unfair Gaea is (and to be fair, Python had it coming...).

When Apollo returns and he and Artemis are goofing off on Delos, the events of And By The Sun's Light happens and this, I believe, is when it starts slowly trickling into physical abuse zone.

Think about it. You are Zeus, powerful king of the gods, a new, proud father to a couple of twins that you already favor so highly.

Then one day, they both - by happenstance - gain a new domain at the same time.

Oh shit. You think. That's strange. But you shrug and hand them off to Helios and Selene, two of the most powerful Titans on Olympus.

Of course, you still keep an eye on them. You're not stupid, and get biweekly reports from their mentors on their progress - and the unease starts to trickle in.

It increases, in particular, when Apollo starts to amass other domains alongside his music, poetry, prophecy, healing, youth and light.

Truth, knowledge, harmony, ect. are all absorbed into his power arsenal and you, the king of the gods, are now sweating.

This was not suppose to happen, so now, I believe, is when Zeus started to use the "light" zaps (as stated in-series) from his bolt to keep Apollo in line. He doesn't want him to get any ideas after all.

Unfortunately for Zeus, that isn't enough to deter Apollo.

(Sidenote: I also think Zeus didn't want Helios to take "his" place - after all, abusers don't want a positive version of themselves in their victim's lives)

Enter stage left: The Olympian Rebellion.

Ohohoh...

"shit I need to ramp it up" thinks Zeus as he stares at the faces of his wife, brother, and his favorite children.

And ramp it up he does. Of course, Apollo's first stint as a mortal happens here, and man. is it bad. Troy's king is the perfect tool and metaphor for Zeus's own rule to give Apollo (and Poseidon) a taste of what else may happen if he (they) continued to defy him.

It sucks, of course. Apollo's very adamant about it not being a picnic. And for a while, after it's all over, it seems like all's well.

Of course, Zeus doesn't lay off the zaps every now and then, but it's nothing compared to later in Apollo's life.

He even considers Apollo's request to free Prometheus and grants it, because isn't he just such a considerate father?

Really, the first time he had to go gunho on Apollo with the bolt was when he and Heracles got into a fistfight - but really, what kind of king would he be if he hadn't prevented Apollo his sons from tearing Heracles each other apart?

After all, he can't show favoritism now can he?

*insert huge THIS IS SARCASM sign here*

But then...Asclepius happens. This upstart thinks he can meddle with what belongs to the gods? Well, Zeus will teach him a lesson on death - and how permanent it can be!

...he didn't take into account how Apollo would react to his son's death.

Nor the rebelliousness of the action itself.

*Alder rubs her hands together*

alrightly gang. THIS. This is it.

Apollo is turned mortal for a second time, but to Zeus's displeasure, it's actually a pretty good time for him. Admetus is friendly, and the two hit it off rather well - too well, if Apollo's very blatant, embarrassing affection is anything to go by.

Well. This just won't do!

Hmm...Thinks Zeus. What's another punishment that will let the lesson sink in?

He looks down into the Underworld.

Perfect.

So Apollo becomes a god again. He's still pretty sad, but he's feeling better - even moreso when Zeus says he's decided to make Asclepius immortal! He'll be the god of doctors!

Ecstatic, Apollo immediately agrees...and then is forced to watch as Asclepius is locked up and he's forbidden from seeing him.

Not only that, but now...Zeus brings out the eagle eye and the big guns. He alternates between nitpicking Apollo, and praising him.

And he also cranks up the voltage on the bolt, so the lesson lingers.

The Trojan War happens. Zeus simultaneously indulges and denies Apollo's wishes.

And then. *Alder gleefully rubs hands* AND THEN.

ROME HAPPENS.

BUCKLE UP THIS IS WHEN IT GOES DOWN.

Helios fades, and Apollo inherits his power. Think about that. Apollo, an already powerful god inherits the power of a Titan. And not just any Titan, but Helios.

That's a hella lotta power.

...and that's a hella lotta threat in Zeu-oops, sorry, Jupiter's eyes.

(Now Jupiter I think has differences from Zeus, but I haven't really devoted any time to drawing that line between them so stuff may change here. However, Jupiter/Jove had a emphasis on family, so my little spin on that...is right here >:))

Jupiter, like Juno, has the domain of family in Rome. He's seen as the Ultimate Dad TM. And you bet he uses that to manipulate the hell out of Apollo.

"A good son wouldn't do [insert perceived slight here]"

"What kind of example are you setting for your brothers?"

And most of all...

"What would your mother think of your attitude?"

Ow. Talk about a punch to the gut.

So yeah. Rome is when things got BAD. The bolts became a lot more constant. The emotional/psychological abuse was unbearable.

Apollo barely had anybody to go to. His options were limited.

...but the one place he did feel comfortable in was with Commodus.

(hahah, yes, I managed to reel Copollo into this too lmao)

In a classic Apollo move, our favorite god goes from one toxic influence (his father) to another (his boyfriend), really showing how ingrained the normalization of abuse/toxicity in Apollo's life is.

He has no red flag sight. He has no alarm bells.

He could walk right into a situation where the word "abuse" is labeled in CAPS and Red and he'd just go "oh shit, what did I do now?"

And his father is all to happy to "let him know" what he did "wrong".

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk hoped this was a good ride! :D

DEAN STIMMING?????

(because this account no longer exists on twitter and it always takes forever for me to find the fancam, i’ve made the decision to repost here. all credits to the creator on twitter, im sorry ur account doesn’t exist anymore for me to link u 😔👊 if u still exist pls call me out and i will add ur creds or delete ok xoxo angeltiddies)

I just wanted to say happy early Valentine's to all my fellow Aromantics and Aces! We can make it through this one with our pure 'don't touch me' vibes.

I believe in us!!

I need a movie where Misha Collins plays a gay angel that falls in love with a bisexual cowboy played by Jensen Ackles. Their names are Cassius and Daniel, Cas and Dan. Jared Padalecki plays Daniel’s younger brother, Samson. It’s a blatant ripoff of SPN. The quality is extremely shitty and the budget was $40. Misha is wearing a pair of shitty $12 angel wings from Amazon and a cardboard halo. Jensen has a water gun instead of a real one. For some reason Samson is a mime, dressed in full mime ensemble, and breaks the fourth wall via miming his frustration about how Daniel and Cassius won’t get together. It has a laugh track and uses those “oohs” and “ahhs” and gasps that were in those early 2000s disney channel shows. Whenever Daniel shoots his gun you just hear Jensen making “pew pew pew pew” noises as red water squirts out.

adrien: if i so much as touch marinette with one inch of my body i will surely lose every one of my scooter ride privileges and never again be considered a gentleman look she's already so nervous it must be scary driving i must sit as properly as possible it's fine it's not so bad my arms are almost long enough to hang onto the sides of my seat like this

marinette: if we hit one bump in the road i'm going to faceplant into the basket and adrien is going to fly into the sun seriously he isn't even holding onto anything why isn't he holding onto anything does he have that much faith in my driving or does he not want to hold onto me oh god was that a bump in the road just now i'm focusing i'm focusing i'm focusi