“We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later. “I don’t want my ears pierced.” “I don’t want any earrings.” The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad. She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.” Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ’… embarrassing me.’ We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced. Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’ Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria. Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own. No means no, yeah, right. Most often, for kids and others without power, “no means force.””
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from “No Means Force” at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.
This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.
For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.
When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.
(via k-pagination)
ok but we gotta talk more about vintage halloween costumes, we GOTTA
ESPECIALLY the diy ones. back before costumes were mass-manufactured, people were left to their own devices and shit got WILD.
It was an absolute free-for-all. back before you could buy a batman mask in a drug store for $5, people really just did whatever
and it was FABULOUS
bonus points to these early commercialization attempts. yes that is a batman dress
anyway there is a basic human drive to wear weird-ass clothing and we should incorporate this shamelessness into our daily lives. only the most meagre of social laws prevent you from dunking yourself in body glitter and wearing a cape & pointy hat to the grocery story on a regular basis. revise your life accordingly.
Here’s the second part of mindfulness I learned in therapy that helped me to function after a breakdown. If you, like me, were taught growing up that some emotions were unacceptable, you may need to learn to handle them now as an adult in order to be healthy. All emotions are important indicators that are there to help you. Mindfulness 101 Comic °˖✧*• Shop, Patreon, Book, Mailing List *•. ✧˖°`
do men have resting bitch faces as well or do they not have negative characteristics ascribed to them for putting on a neutral rather than a deliriously happy facial expression
W o Ah
One of the characters in our D&D party is an orc named Brick. We’ve established that orcs get their names through tests of strength and that his name is Brick because it’s the strongest thing he was able to break with his bare hands.
By profession, Brick is a therapist. His ultimate ambition is to one day do therapy so good that he can change his name to Depression.
Not sure how this works. I'll figure things out as I go. But for now, I hope what I have isn't difficult to navigate.
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