The First Funny Bitch Was Cain, Who Straight Up Lied To God After Killing His Brother.

the best relationship is when you can act like lovers and best friends at the same time

- takethisride

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

It’s so fun that we’re getting the one-two punch of the jewish boo-that-historical-dictator-and-cheer-for-his-death day followed immediately by the official tumblr boo-that-historical-dictator-and-cheer-for-his-death day this year, truly a grand collaboration between two of the greats

you all need to think about how you interact with trans men online, like really think

recently one of my posts about being a trans man and casually interacting with another trans man got about 90,000 notes and the tags and comments are full of ‘too pure for this earth’, ‘i’m a dirty sinner i don’t deserve to read this post’, ‘adorable cute sweet precious boys’ despite the fact that it’s mentioned that i am in college and not a child in the post and you all need to think about how some trans men do not want to be referred to that way and being okay with being referred to that way is pretty much exclusively a young teenager tumblr thing that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. i’m just a man. none of this is necessary and it’s very performative, but…

along with this infantilizing, with this obsession with the proposed purity of another man and myself just for existing, there’s also dehumanization that comes with it, for example:

somewhere along the post, someone decided it would be a good idea to add, ‘all i can imagine is two eldritch horrors trying to get their voices as horrifying and fucked up as possible’ (not exact quote but that’s the gist of it)…

and someone decided that it would be a good idea to take my experience, wildly change the context and make a FANFIC, on MY OWN POST, of two eldritch MONSTERS upset because their voices didn’t sound ‘as horrific’ as the ‘monsters’ around them, and bonding over it together. nowhere in this fanfiction was being trans mentioned.

this is, quite possibly, the most horrifying thing someone has added to one of my posts and going beyond dehumanizing my experiences as a trans man enjoying my voice getting deeper, but also writing a fanfiction onto the post that changed the context of ‘two trans men finding validation between one another and our voices’ into ‘two monsters are sad they’re not scary enough and bond over trying to be scary together’. i shouldn’t have to explain how horrible that is for me to read, and how horrible it is to see that added on my own post & circulated through hundreds with no criticism.

quite frankly, it’s devastating to see how people talk about and interact with trans men. we are either children who must be protected and are weak and vulnerable and ‘too pure’, or we are fuel for your fanfics that completely strip us of our humanity. i consent to neither and if you think that any of these things are okay to do to a complete stranger, all you’re doing is patting yourself on the back for your performative ally points while making trans men uncomfortable with sharing their experiences and talking about their lives and trying to be happy with themselves. stop it. 

“You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.”

— Ellen Hopkins

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

You’re laughing. Environmentalists and Elon Musk haters teamed up to build and somehow actually send a giant space Roomba to orbit to get rid of all of the floating space garbage and Elon Musk’s satellites that then accidentally destroyed half of the ISS before exploding and turning into more space garbage and you’re laughing?

In high school one of the common fund raisers was carnation flowers for a dollar during prom season and valentines and a couple other times of year. And you could “order” flowers to be delivered to kids during their homeroom times so it was always a big deal to get flowers and it was super fun

But one of these fundraisers I had a guy friend who commented he never got any because he was always single or his girlfriend always expected flowers but never gave him any

So my senior year valentines I decided I was going to buy all the guys in my homeroom (which he was in) a carnation and said they were from “Anonymous Girl in your homeroom”

So the day came and all the guys started getting flowers and they all realized they were from the same one girl and all got super excited and giddy and protective of their flowers and all day long I saw the guys in my homeroom wear flowers behind their ears or stuffed in their notebooks and they flaunted them around to other guys that didn’t get flowers. One guy tried to see if it would make his girlfriend jealous. A couple of them tried to play detective to figure it out who it was.

Then the next day apparently they all (or at least most of them) got together and bought all the girls in homeroom a carnation as a thank you to whoever it was so every girl in my homeroom got a bouquet of one from every guy (so it was a bouquet of about a dozen) and every single girl was smiling and happy and bouncy as the guys were the day before

And no one ever knew it was me but I was always super proud of that