Segueixo Sense Entendre-ho

a couple grocery stores in my area have started selling what they label as a 'watermelon tenderloin', which is basically an unbroken long-way cross section of the watermelon, about an inch thick, with the rind cut off around the edges. they can be like $8 each and are sold in very limited quantities in single serve boxes and there are so many parts to this that i find really funny but most of all im obsessed with the idea that theres different prime cuts to a watermelon in the same way theres different prime cuts to a cow or something, and the watermelon tenderloin option gives you the best of the possible watermelon parts, of which there are famously only two. like it reminds me of those pics of people crouching with a gun and their dog with their garden vegetable hauls lined up in front of them parodying hunters like they shot the zucchini and i so badly wish i could get behind it as a trend but for $8 while a full watermelon is like $5-6 i unfortunately cannot

Reblog if you have made a friend online that you would love to hang with, but they live far away.

wish list for people who don’t want anything

aka possessions which are just possessions, but which have noticeably improved my quality of life: for when people ask you “what do you want for your birthday/Christmas/graduation” and you instantly transform into St Francis and pledge fealty to Lady Poverty because your mind went blank

nice. new. sheets. I cannot emphasize this one enough. if you’re still using the same sheets you had in college, you should probably get new ones. get yourself some 100% bamboo rayon sheets—they’re silky and perfect for summer and great for sensitive skin! or, if you’re cold all the time, flannel sheets!

kitchen knives. or even just one really good kitchen knife.

new curtains—blackout if you are a creature of the night like I am

fleece lined anything, but especially sweatpants and hoodies. wool lined socks are also good. if you don’t have the option of coming home after work and putting on an entire outfit that is loose and fuzzy, you should change that, because you deserve that option.

cookie sheets with a layer of air between the top and the bottom. the bottoms of your cookies will never burn again.

kitchen scale!!! no more leveling off flour with a knife and getting it all over the table!! now all your measuring is just shoveling stuff in and out of bowls like you’re at the beach. baking is both more accurate and also way more fun.

coffee bean grinder. if you want to upgrade your coffee experience, this is a great one-time purchase. just-ground beans have a much better flavor than pre-ground.

CDs!! ask for a gift card and expand your physical music collection! or a collection of the DVDs for your favorite show!

truly is a beautiful masterpiece of modern art that an online community largely fueled by fandom and media analysis has come full circle into creating a detailed and thorough pastiche, via gifsets and faux analysis essays and letterboxd reviews and more, of a "forgotten 1970s film classic" that does not actually exist. Goncharov (1973) (the memetic phenomenon) has quickly become one of the most biting statements about the current state of art and its consumption. A work of art that exists not in and of itself, but as a discussion of itself. an analysis of itself. An appreciation of itself. pure unadulterated simulacrum.

vegans make peace with honey

no shut up do it

You know. Some people could really stand to get more comfortable with the idea of “you shouldn’t say that because it’s mean”. Especially with really common body shaming and straight up bullying lines.

“You shouldn’t make ugly bald jokes because what if a transman on T sees it!”

“You shouldn’t make virgin jokes because what if someone who’s asexual sees it!”

How about you just don’t make them because they’re mean. How about people can be balding or a virgin for a number of reasons and also don’t deserve to be routinely made fun of. How about saying that the reason you shouldn’t make x joke because it spares x specific identity’s feelings also let’s them know that you actually have no problem saying or thinking bald people are ugly or virgins are stupid or etc but you’re just not saying it in front of them. How about you understand this kind of body shaming and bullying especially in a very public setting online are always going to have way more unintended damage to people who did nothing wrong than damage to the person you’re upset with.

Sometimes the best reason to not make a bad joke like that is because it’s fucking mean.

Are you saying the use of AI will be/is the next stage of our (technological) culture of immediacy?

People are so impressed with AI for what? Because it can make stuff? You know what else can do that? A human being…..oh but that’s not fast enough 🥺 its not fwast enuwf fwor you 🥺🥺 ?

Source

Video of Tama

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

I just found out I turned half the male population gay

Story goes, a couple of years ago I digital painted this accursed image:

I don’t visit tumblr all that much these days but today I did, and I found a comment that said something along the lines of “Is this the original Ricardo Megamind meme?” and I was like “WHAT MEME?”. So I googled it and: 

MY NAME IS MARLENA SIDOR. I AM (or was until my tools broke) A FREELANCE DIGITAL ARTIST FROM POLAND.  AND I PAINTED THIS SH** 

I don’t mind it being a meme. It’s a fanart. I painted it for fun and because I really like that movie. I see this entire thing as a form of flattery. Also, you’re welcome, since this may be the closest you will ever see of a “live-action” Megamind (and considering how all the recent remakes of old classics are, it may be for the best). 

I only want to know one thing, WHO THE F** IS THIS RICARDO?

You. Youtuber who makes annoying videos complaining about people "romanticizing" their mental illness. Are you normal about mad people irl