U Sure About That Kid?

THIS IS BIBLICALLY ACCURATE PERIODT

Headcanon ❗ (but real to me)

The Golden Trio are very affectionate friends. Like annoyingly so.

Always reaching out for a high five or a pat on the back. Arms around shoulders. Greeting with a hug. Harry gives great neck massages. Ron likes to sit shoulder to shoulder. Hermione guides them around with a hand on their lower back (and so they don't wander off).

Ron taps Harry on the ass whenever he walks by. Hermione trims their hair during the school year because she insists it does a better job than magic. Harry could fall asleep anywhere and regularly dozes off in class with his head on one of their shoulders.

If they're sitting at a table together, chances are their legs are all tangled together underneath or stacked like pancakes. Hermione holds onto their arms when they walk through a crowd. Ron props his chin atop their heads when he stands behind them.

Stop this is so perfect

i have this headcanon (that’s literally my roman empire rn) that harry ron and hermione have a way of instantly calming each other down if one of them is panicking

harry’s the center cus he’s.. got the most issues let’s be honest

but they have a secret hand gesture that they make to the other two when panicking, putting their hand on their chest and rubbing in circles (please in sign)

ron will slide behind harry and wrap his arms around his waist, and hermione will come to his front and bury her head in his neck, and everything else won’t matter anymore

it’s something about ron holding him and hermiones hair being in his face, her scent enveloping his senses and he just feels.. safe. like nothing else matters

his two people are here and everything is going to be okay

james and lily invited sirius over and aren’t subtle about propositioning jilypad

this was how they sealed the deal on who’d be godfather

Thank you, I had a great time!

🐍 Slither In Fest Masterlist

Huge thank you to all of our talented participants! We love and appreciate all your enthusiasm for bottom Tom | Voldemort content in this fandom. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Here is a list of all our fantastic entries this year! (Please comment here if you don't see your Tumblr @'ed, so we can add it!)

💚 Karma’s a bitch by @albondiguilla007 4,130 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom betrays Harry. Harry’s not happy about it.

💚 Resonating Souls by @endlessburningdarkness 4,063 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Minister Riddle has an unusually dream filled night.

💚 To Corrupt a Unicorn by beanclip 4,766 | Completed | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Hepzibah Smith, Tom Riddle/Original Male Character(s)

Blood, fear, and ancient, untouched books. Amortentia.

💚 To be Entwined by @cyandenial 5,055 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Harry and Tom grew up together, and it's more than just a brotherly bond that connected them.

💚 as sweet as blood red jam by @cindle-writes 4,974 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom meets Harry for the first time at a Ministry function that Tom’s attending as Minister Diggory’s plus-one.

💚 delicatus by @cindle-writes 4,974 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Lord Voldemort is an instructive Lord-Father-God-Master-Papa.

💚 forgive me father by @cindle-writes 2,396 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom sneaks into his father’s bed and touches himself while Harry lies sleeping next to him, unawares.

💚 Pink Shorts by @crowcrowcrowthing 5,574 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Tom was very good at pilates. Harry had a problem with that.

💚 Aliquot (sequel to Pink Shorts) by @crowcrowcrowthing, @cindle-writes 4,644 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Harry and Tom continue fucking on every available surface.

💚 synoptic by @duplicitywrites 1,380 | WIP | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Tom Riddle

Fifty years in isolation is enough to drive anyone a bit mad.

💚 Is It Baby Trapping if I Didn’t Actually Want to Trap You? by @dearestdo3 12,398 | WIP | M | Ship: Orion Black/Tom Riddle, Walburga Black/Orion Black, Walburga Black/Tom Riddle

Tom Riddle just wanted to scam Lord Black so he'll have enough money to run away from Wizarding Britain for good.

💚 french affair by @heyob 2,693 | Completed | E | Ship: Rodolphus Lestrange/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Rodolphus Lestrange was willing to do anything to avoid getting married, even if he has to get caught fucking the Dark Lord.

💚 Premium Pussy by @hopeforthewitch 3,200 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom shouldn't, but he has favourites, case in point: James Black.

💚 Fake Boyfriend by J0305 2,432 | WIP | M | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom needs a boyfriend, and Harry is the perfect one for him.

💚 Taking Feet Pics Is Serious Business by Just_praises 2,151 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom didn't think selling feet pics would end up sustaining his entire livelihood.

💚 Slow Soak by @lyceana 1,431 | WIP | E | Ship: Rubeus Hagrid/Tom Riddle, Whomping Willow/Tom Riddle

These tender roots need to soak in water. They'll slowly grow, but it will be worth the wait, or this it what he's praying for.

💚 Your Wish, My Command by @moontearpensfic 3,987 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Tom wants to deepen his relationship with his father. If only his "mother" wasn't in the way…

💚 throne sex by @zolpidem105 Art | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Voldemort

harry potter is an undercover auror. voldemort is lord voldemort.

💚 family friends by @reggieblk 12,279 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle

Harry had always considered Tom to be a little brother of sorts.

💚 Make a wish by @sri-verse 2,664 | WIP | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Horcrux/Harry Potter

An attempt to fulfill an innocent childhood wish of a gold cauldron has some unforeseen consequences for Harry James Potter.

💚 i wanna have sex with you (your sweet caress won't do) by @ujiin 8,061 | Completed | E | Ship: Tom Riddle/Tom Riddle Sr.

Tom Sr is horrified to find out that his son is the lowest of the low in society.

💚 compromising positions by @virgil-anon 2,294 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

He was Tom Riddle! (He was Tom Potter) ((He was Lord Voldemort))

💚 An Abundance of Riddles by Anonymous 1,223 | WIP | E | Ship: Tom Riddle | Voldemort/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

November 1st, 1981, Tom Riddle wakes up in the cave and learns that he used to be the Locket Horcrux.

💚 Time in a Whiskey Bottle by Anonymous 5,401 | Completed | E | Ship: Rubeus Hagrid/Tom Riddle

Stripper Tom & Rubeus Hagrid fall in love at the club.

💚 Ride it Like It's Quidditch by Anonymous 2,163 | Completed | E | Ship: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort

Tom hates Harry and plans on making him kneel.

hiiii do you know how many chapters you’re aiming for with auror potter? great story btw, i very nearly pissed my pants laughing when he called the madame out in front of tom, lestrange and malfoy.

and yes — harry definitely is a bamf and does have chemistry with almost everyone. kind of makes me think that with tom, it’s going to skyrocket eventually.

Hahaha, you get it! He is one hot angry motherfucker. I’m also glad you laughed, writing Harry is honestly a delight. He’s just so sarcastic and explosive all the time, ugh 😩

I’ll tell you a little secret actually. Chapter number three is told from Tom’s pov, so I’m struggling a bit lol. Still, I think it should be out somewhen next week. There will be seven chapters, according to my outline, between 32k-38k words in total.

Again, I’m very happy you’re enjoying the story!

SO TRUE

been in drarry hell for 5 months now and i still get whiplash from the range

My favorite Hogwarts Eighth Year Drarry fics

Part l

✨ A Dented Old Street Sign / 27k / Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

✨ Inside Your Mind / 36k / Goyle's taken it upon himself to act as Malfoy's personal, one-man guard and Harry can't help but feel like it's only making the bullying worse.

✨ knickers in a twist / 86k / Draco loses a bet to Pansy and Blaise which leaves him wearing a skirt for a whole week. Harry discovers something about himself.

✨ The Nightmare Club / 85k / Hermione and Ron are going back to Hogwarts to do N.E.W.T.s, Ginny isn't. Harry hasn't decided, until he has, in front of the Wizengamot and now he's responsible for Malfoy as well. A tale of enemies who learn to get along, get it wrong and get it on. Everything is purple, some things are on fire and no-one is sleeping properly. But don't worry, there's tea!

✨ Two to Lie and One to Listen / 84k / It’s weird when Hermione announces that she and Ron have broken up. It’s weirder when this is followed by the revelation that she’s already moved on—and the new object of her affections is Draco Malfoy.

Things only get worse from there.

(A drarry fic featuring fake dating, jealousy and bad choices.)

✨ Love, Pain, and Guitar Strings / 303k / Harry had to do something with his time in the summer after the war, especially since he couldn't sleep. Finding Sirius's old guitar and learning to play solved that problem. Now if only he could solve the problem of Draco Malfoy always seeming to find him when he played it. Or the problem of how he definitely didn't want him to leave when he did.

Draco got lucky, he knew that - really. He was going back to Hogwarts instead of Azkaban. Now if only he could really find the freedom everyone kept telling him had. And if Potter could stop looking and sounding so damned good playing that guitar it would really help him do that.

An 8th-year fic about healing old wounds, gaining new skills, and learning what's most important.

✨ In Deep Water / 39k / Draco Malfoy returned to Hogwarts tall and tense and in love with Neville Longbottom.

✨ A Wizard’s Guide to Co-Parenting with Your Ex-Nemesis / 38k / Harry had expected a few things when returning for his Eighth Year. Rooming with Ron, a cheeky Firewhisky down at the pub, leaving his assignments to the last minute – those were all but certain to occur.

His list of certainties definitely hadn’t included McGonagall’s shake-up of the curriculum, which tasked the Eighth Years with the responsibility of parenthood for three weeks. Caring for a baby Transfigured from a sack of flour would have been alright if: 1) Malfoy wasn’t Harry’s assigned partner, 2) Their baby’s one goal in life wasn’t to spite Harry, and 3) Malfoy wasn’t infuriatingly good at fake parenthood.

✨ It’s No Great Mystery / 57k / Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.

And then it happens again. And again. And again.

✨ Owl Was Well / 66k / Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.

✨ 12 Days of What The Fuck / 26k / When Potter starts paying unusual amounts of attention to Draco as the holidays draw nearer, Draco can't figure out where it's coming from—possibly because he's gone stupid from all the fantastic sex. But what happens when he finds out that there may be another motive behind Potter's sudden interest?

Or: A fic in which Potter is hotter than Draco ever let himself admit, Draco didn't fill out that fucking form, and Pansy may or may not lose all of her hair.

Stop this is so them in Never Mind the Bollocks

Please please give it a chance, it’s one of my favorite Drarry fanfics, and The_Sinking_Ship @the-sinking-ship is ✨amazing✨ Easily one of my fav Drarry authors, she’s written the most beautiful, spicy and fleshed out fanfics I’ve read.

(also @ijlii what the hell those drawings are breathtaking)

JESUS

Marauders fandom!! You have been summoned. Look! It’s a James! Feast thine eyes! (I’m sorry, do what you want. I’m not the boss of you. Have a nice day.)

Smutty hpdm fics

✨ Knickers in a twist / 86k / Draco loses a bet to Pansy and Blaise which leaves him wearing a skirt for a whole week. Harry discovers something about himself.

✨ as the plant that never blooms / 7k / "Something's wrong," Potter says again. "You have to take my wand. Stun me. Then call Ron."

✨ Intention / 6k / Harry really ought to listen to whatever Ron is saying, but it becomes impossible to focus when a familiar figure across the pub curls his fingers around another man’s tie. And when that man leans in with a wolfish smile, Harry sees red, and all he can think is mine.

✨ Aura Reader / 311k / Harry is in Sixth year. He has the Potions textbook formerly belonging to the 'Half-blood Prince.'

Within the pages of that notebook is a mysterious spell, one which gives Harry a new insight into the emotional state of those around him.

Naturally, when Harry finds Malfoy in a bathroom, crying, and in great distress... well, what can you expect of a person known for his 'saving people thing'?

✨ Screw you / 15k / One fine morning in the Great Hall, a defective magical product reveals several couples who've recently had sex with each other. It's an unfortunate event for Harry and Draco, who, since the beginning of Eighth Year, have been secretly fucking each other all over the castle.

✨ Passably wrecked / 4k / “Potter,” Malfoy says, sitting down next to him at breakfast. “I think we should have sex.”

✨ It beats black and blue but it fucks me so good / 21k / “You haven’t called me for a while.”

Draco shrugs, holding his head up high. “Yes. And?”

“And. I know exactly what that means.”

Draco raises a single brow, blinking slowly. He looks unimpressed. “It means I’ve forgotten you exist. It means I’m completely and utterly over you, no matter how much your overinflated ego tries to convince you otherwise. It means —

“It means you haven’t been properly fucked in ages.”

✨ move fast, keep quiet / 8k / Harry’s good at his job. He likes his job. He’d be pretty satisfied staying at his job for the rest of his life. Whether they’ll allow him to stay in his job after punching his boss’ nephew square in the face is another story.

Well, Harry figures that the bastard shouldn’t have been spewing such filth about Malfoy, anyway. If he privately thinks the very same lewd things about his enemy-turned-awkward-acquaintance, well, that’s completely and utterly irrelevant.

*

Or, Harry and Draco aren’t very good at using their words. Eye contact works for a while, until hands and mouths work considerably better at getting their points across.