I hate when I start a new Animal Crossing island or town and my son Kyle isn't there yet, and I'm just kinda there. Please give him to me. I already miss himđ
(I do have his amibo card, tho so that makes it easier, but still)
I swear every time someone uses the word it in a sentence I think about the IT book/movies this isn't funny anymore. I'll be watching a video and the second someone says it I'm like OMG GAY CLOWN MOVIE and then I just start thinking about IT totally forgetting I was watching something
I hate when I've had long hair for a while, and then I get the random urge to cut it all off. I know it looks bad on me, but the little voice in my head says," Hey, wouldn't it be funny if you went bald?" I know it looks terrible, I've done it before, It always ends up being a yee yee haircut, but some part of me just needs to get an ugly haircut once in a while. Also it may be a gender thing cause it's kinda scary thinking I may not fully pass as a guy
I still remember 13 years old me watching IT 2017 on dvd for the first time that movie changed my life. never could my parents have predicted how obsessed I'd become with IT I remember specifically going on youtube to watch clips all day long and buying the book when I was still a minor (which wasn't exactly smart of me I know but hey autism) and even watching the miniseries because my mom said it was better than IT 2017 and fuck the hype I felt when IT 2019 came out, it's strange how watching one movie when I was 13 has changed my life that much it's one of my main 5 interests now that are always there on my mind
(I still watch the movie multiple times a year, btw I'm obsessed)
the classic you can never go wrong with this one, but it definitely isn't the best either. Don't think I have to describe the flavor everyone has tried it at least once 8/10
I like it even tho I've never tried real mango. I feel it has a strong mango taste it's not my favorite tho 7,5/10
this is my go-to flavor simply because the can color matches with my hair and that makes me feel like it's meant to be, flavor wise I'd say I like it just as much as the original tho it tastes very different I like how it isn't tho basic ass lemon flavor that every lemon flavored drink has this is good 8/10
5 candlesâŠ5 chairsâŠ.5âŠ..mcr5âŠ.mcrâŠ.5 thingsâŠ.5âŠ.
live laugh parasocial
psa
good morning shaniacs đ«¶đ» hereâs your daily affirmation
All Too Close To Human.
The long awaited and trailered Bowers Gang fic is beginning its debut lol. Chapter one is a shit ton of setup so sorry if it isnât THAT interesting; yaâll will like the story more as it progresses. Ignore in that one Art I posted I totally messed up the chapter title. This is what happens when I donât double check. Btw. This isnât FORMALLY beta read, but Iâm about 90% sure thereâs no mistakes and 99% sure thereâs none that impact the flow. Thanks for reading!
Finally; CHAPTER ONE [words:. 3.2k]
General tags; Homoerotic friendships, Henry Bowers x Victor Criss, Henpat, bowers gang fluff, Henryâs POV, slow burn, setting up plot :)
â ïžWARNINGS;â ïž
Canon-typical homophobia, anger issues, implied/referenced child abuse, homophobic slurs, major sexism, misogyny, immoral narration, unreliable narration, VERY!! brief antisemitism (against Stan), some elements of sexual harassment, [sexually] explicit language and humour, Henry being an awful human being, Patrick being a WORSE human being, and immoral conversations; particularly around consent.
Chapter 1 - Almost Human
Brrrrzing! That god-awful bell, grating as usual, had its daily moment of redemption. Theyâd been released, and the day was over, thank fuck. And yet his dumbass friends werenât on their way out yet, still dicking around. Were they deaf?
âWait, waitâ I got a better one!â Victor Criss, smiling like an idiot under his bleached mop, interjected. Heâd clearly cut off Belch, who was now pouting, while Patrick applauded some bullshit impression Vic was doing of the school principal. The morons were apparently in no rush. Genuinely; in what world was sticking around more fun than hanging outside when itâs summer! Wasnât the last day quite yet, but it was close enough to feel freedom around the corner.
Henry elbowed the two loudest in their ribs to get them to shut up, causing Vic to slam his mouth shut and Patrick to tut defensively. Despite the yelp, they both effectively quit it. Thank fucking god. Glancing around at the steadily populating halls, dull white and teal turning sickeningly colorful, Henry urged the other boys to understand.
âSchoolâs out boys! Can we get out of this fucking hellhole already?â Henry said above the rising chatter in the hallways. âI swear to god youâre stalling like itâll make any of you pass English.â
Theyâd all decided to have a celebratory skipping of fourth together, but now that school was done for the day, there was no sentiment in watching other kids pump their fists or slam their lockers. Certainly not while prissy geeks kept laughing loudest of them all; rich kids were so noisy.
âAwwe, câmon Hank,â Vic said sweetly, rubbing his side where Henryâs elbow had been. âShouldnât we at least shove some loser into their locker first? Sentimental type oâ thingâ you know? Weâre practically done for the semester.â
âYou get sappy makinâ fun of dorks now, or you chop your balls off?â Henry snorted, though he hardly heard himself over Belchâs desperate chime in.
âLoosen up Henâ. Donât you wannaâ mess around first?â
Before he had the chance to even register his friends were practically groveling and he could absolutely gloat about this, Vic continued the burlier boyâs thoughts. His pest tendencies were equal parts annoying and familiar. As was the smell of a student body getting denser.
âYeahâ yeah! And, er, girls. We hardly ever see any our age outta school, Hank, come on! Summerâs full of sweaty men and your dad getting on us about chores, dude. Cominâ up on the only chance for the next two months to get some pussy.â
â-actually your mother would strongly disagreeâ!â
âLike look, look!â Vic planted a cold yet somehow clammy palm on his friendâs shoulder, using his other hand to gesture at a girl grabbing textbooks out of her locker. He kept looking back to Henry for approval, hoping his sales pitch was convincing. Which⊠it had potential.
Patrick whistled, leaning on Henryâs shoulder like he had permission, eyes gleaming with fascination. Patrick was always like thisâ a little too touchy, a little too strange, but somehow tolerable. They got along.
The girl, now biting her lip while she stuffed her bag with books sheâd never use again, actually caught Henryâs eye. She looked like a challenge. Pretty face. She was hot, even. But more importantly, if Henry hadnât noticed her before? Sheâd certainly put effort into that being the case. She thought she could avoid him. Boo hoo.
It was all he could do to not clasp his hands together in excitement. Before Henry had the chance to say or do anything, Vic blurted out quickly to avoid getting cut off.
âGuys, hold up, I actually know that bitch! Kiara. Her birthday was on the announcements todayâ use that,â Vic said, smirking pridefully. Who the hell was he trying to impress? Maybe Belch, because Belch was just as smiley hearing it as Victor was telling it. Henry made a sour face, pushing his tongue into his cheek.
Patrick cackled, shaking Henry by his shoulders and walking forward with him. Without much thought his shoes picked up the memo, carrying him seemingly towards Victorâs birthday girl. She was alone amongst the flood of kids, so this was no issue. Henry let himself slip into a more willing role, smile easing onto his face and his muscles relaxing. They swaggered right up to the girl. The two of them circled her before Vic and Belch secured the wall.
There was something intoxicating about how Henry and his friends could just cut off anyone they wanted from public reach. Make a bubble of intimidation even self proclaimed heroes wouldnât approach.
Kiara, her name was? Kiara was his. Henry was about to win himself a trophy.
âHey, sweetheart,â Henry greeted, crossing his arms and showing off his teeth. His bottom lip curled in, and he wondered just how menacing he looked right now. He decided on âveryâ.
âWe heard itâs your birthday,â Patrick snickered, causing both Henry and Vic to glance at him sideways. Like, really? Thatâs what he came up with? Lame. Belch, as always, just kept looking at their target. He was the most physically imposing, so it worked out.
Stepping back in, Henry saved the interaction. He should probably start getting rolls of duct tape for his friends mouths beforehand, but what's done is done.
âIâve got a present for yaâ, birthday girl,â he said, lowering his voice suggestively. It was so uncomfortable he almost cringed, a feat quite difficult. âWanna see?â
Kiara spoke up before the harassment could continue, though she stayed flush to her locker, holding her bag in front of her body like a shield. She trembled. Fuckinâ awesome. She was afraid. Good. âNo, thanks.â
She sounded tense, both audible and visible to the four boys who wouldnât miss a thing. Unforgiving hallway lighting only added to the clinical observation. There wasnât a hair on her arms that could raise without being noticed; she was being stared down so intensely.
âOh, come on,â Henry pushed quickly, inching closer. âYouâll love itâ we all know you want me.â
Belch chimed in, having good timing to back him upâ âYouâre in for a real treat,â â but apparently not the good sense to come up with something clever.
The other two giggled and nodded as well. Kiara hardly shrunk into herself, which was lame.
âLook,â she said firmly, eyeing them all distastefully, âyou all look like lovely guys, but I donât know you, and Iâm not interested.â
Didnât know them?! What a load of bullshit! Everyone knew themâ everyone knew Henry at the very least. His reputation at Derry High School was incredibly infamous, and impressive of course.
Some kid whistled nervously, scooting by. Henry didnât bother looking at him, but he knew. The kid sensed the tension. Point proven, right? God, if this bitch kept lying to his face, someone was going to get hit.
âOh, letâs not lie, shall we?â Henry spat, getting more in her face then he was already. He paused to let his friends do their odd sinister laughter thing before continuing. âBut if weâre playing dumb, I guess Iâll bite.â
Vic tensed next to him, which was odd. Was there a teacher nearby? No, if that was true Patrick would say something, and keys would jangle in an authoritative type of way. Whatever. Vicâs weird like that sometimes.
âHenry Bowers. Ring a bell, bitch?â
Again, the idiots he aligned himself with found it in them to giggle and laugh in support.
âHenry,â she warned, voice far too even, âitâs cute how hard you try, but go scare some other girl into a hookup. Or boy, I donât judge. Just leave me out of it.â
âCunt!â he barked, slamming his hand into the locker next to her. Kiara actually jumped, and a rush made its way into Henryâs system. Yelling always worked that way. âYou fuckinâ need me. Admit it.â
âNo,â Kiara murmured weakly, eyes squinting. That was it. The final straw. No one said no to Henry Bowers.
âDonât say no to me, slut! I swear to god, Iâllâ!â
Belch sputtered, tapping Henryâs shoulder and speaking worthless words to him. âWhoa man, cool off for a secââ
âFuck off!â he snapped back, spinning on his heel to face his friend. He soon realized everyone in the vicinity, everyone but Patrick, looked scared. Some girl, maybe Kiaraâs friend or something, stumbled back in terror. It hardly felt good.
It worried him he couldnât stop visualizing his momâs face on all of them. Not her featuresâ those had left years ago. But that same fearful expression. One he couldnât even enjoy. Fuck them! Was this on purpose? Did they think heâd just let this happen?! His dad always said some people need to be put in their place. God, was he acting like his dad right now? Fuck, no. Not that asshole. Ugh, he needed to get out of here before he thought too hard.
He shoved his way between his friends and stormed off to the nearest exit. Three shell-shocked morons were quick on his heels. Like the sheep they were. Other kids practically jumped out of his way, splitting like he knew they would.
He hated it here. His friends were judging him, shoes were squeaking, there were too many conversations, and he kept seeing people he didnât fucking like! He even saw the absolute worst of the worst as he stormed by; Cocksucker, Stuttering Bill, Germ Freak, and Jew, who glanced at him silently. Why did everyone keep staring? He was just walking! Fuck this school.
The push doors leading into the parking lot squealed as he shoved through them, his boots changing in sound as they now beat down on the gravelly pavement, then poorly kept asphalt.
He made it all the way to the middle of the parking lot before he boiled over. When he turned around to face the culprits of his rage; Patrick, Victor, and Belch, they all froze like deer in headlights, practically jumping when he began to go off on them.
âYouâre all fucking dicks! Not a single one of you tried back there. What the hell! Were you trying to embarrass me or something? Well it wonât fuckin work, dipshits, you canât embarrassââ
âHank, itâs okay,â Vic hushed, reaching to put a hand on Henryâs shoulder. âSânot like sheâsââ
âDone with you,â Patrick jumped in, grinning. Everyone held their breath, curious as to where this was going. Even Henryâs rage stilled, offering just enough clarity to hear Patrick scheme. âAttempt numero uno, my friend. Youâll get her. Patience.â
Vic looked exasperated, Belch face palmed, and Henry actually calmed down a little. That was a great idea! Duh, there was no need to worry. He was Henry Bowersâ the whore would be on her knees begging soon enough. She was just playing hard to get.
He ran his tongue over his teeth, contemplating. A girl that took effort was more fun, anyways, so⊠âyeah, yeah good point. Nice one using your brain for one, âey Hockstetter?â
Patrick nodded proudly, and the two boys exchanged smug eyebrow raises, faces crinkling along parallel lines above their eyes. Everyone else however had made no effort to prove they should be forgiven, and just got glares. They were like any other asshole browsing the rows of poorly parked vehicles.
âGreat. Yeah. Cool,â Belch said, seemingly talking to himself, but relieved the tension had somewhat dissipated. Belch never knew what to do when the gang wasnât getting along. Kind of sweet when Henry was in the right mood for it. Right now it was just mildly irritating.
A silence fell over the four boys, leaving them all to rest in the comfortable summer air. Sleeveless shirts like he always wore were great for keeping cool, terrible for hiding from the sun. The daylight bit at Henryâs shoulders, though he couldnât pretend to care. No, his mind was circling birthday-girl Kiara and her meaningless rejection. She was probably crazy for him. Just needed a nudge in the right direction. But god, that whore pissed him off back there.
Henryâs eyes kept to the sidewalk, watching the indistinguishable figures of kids and teens sling backpacks over just one shoulder and avoiding their untied laces. People needed to smarten up and get boots, like he did. Pissed him off.
âSo⊠beer in the forest?â Belch suggested. Henry guessed the scumbag had figured out what to say, during all that quiet.
âWho gave him a brain?â Patrick exclaimed, wrapping one of his lanky arms over Belchâs unwilling shoulder. The silence had broken with some good openers, apparently.
âAnd whenâs Patrick gonna get one?â Vic added on, smiling at his own joke. Henry laughed, despite his better judgement. It wasnât funny. But Victor, for some reason, was kind of hard to stay pissed at. At least for regular dumbassery.
âLetâs get in the fuckinâ car already,â Henry said, stifling his laughter by wiping his face with his forearm. âCâmon, move!â
Belchâs blue firebird got them to a secluded park on the edge of town, what was probably once someoneâs backyard. Short, stunted grass; divets in the ground where a play set wouldâve been. No matter what, though, it made for a good parking spot, and had good trails that led to their usual hang out. It was nice because they never, not once, ran into anyone else. It was just the four of them.
They trekked down the path pretty silently (per Henryâs request). The summer hum had started a while ago, but on the quiet walk, it was much more apparent. Annoying or relaxing⊠Henry couldnât tell. Though it was clear to him that Belch and Victor kept whispering about him.
He spun on his heel, making Patrick trip over him, but Henry didnât flinch. Patrickâs palms met the matted down grass with a delicate thump, which was funny. Henry wondered briefly if Patrick left handprints behind.âWhat the hell are you two whispering about?â
âSorry, Henry..â
âNothinâ, Hank!â
He wasnât buying it. His boys were shit liars, part of the reason he kept them around. Henry narrowed his eyes, bouncing back and forth between Victor and Belch. Given Belch was the easiest egg to crack, he kicked that idiotâs shin first.
âOw! Henry what was that forâ?â
âIf you think thereâs something interesting enough to talk about you oughta whisper, I think you should share with the class. Hear me, Huggins?â
Belch paused, looking shamefully past Henryâs shoulder, too much of a wimp to stare at the ground any longer nor meet his eyes. He looked like he was about to spill when Vic interrupted.
âWe were just talking about that girl, yâknow? Sayinâ maybe you came on a little strong, is all,â he tried, smile wavering but voice mostly sure. Henry couldn't believe this; they were gossiping about him. Thatâs ridiculous!
His hands balled into knuckle-whitening fists. For now, he chose not to use them. A woodpecker drilled into a tree nearby, and Henry felt a sense of solidarity with its methods. âOh yeah? You're an expert with girls now, Victor Criss?â
âNo, but..â
ââCause I havenât seen any exactly throwing themselves at you. Youâre a fuckinâ bleach blonde wannabe who gets exactly zero game and follows me around like you want to suck my dick. So shut the actual fuck up,â Henry spewed, shooting daggers with his glare. Victor flinched, but just kind of nodded sadly. He was surprised this got him, not like heâd actually meant to cut deep or anything.
Dumbass canât even hold his ground, Henry thought coldly, but as the silence lingered on, he almost felt⊠bad? Unsatisfied, at least.
âHenry, that was so hot,â Patrick joked, breaking the silence like he often did. âGod, no wonder the ladies are lining up! Me next, please? Please?â
Vic kind of laughed through his nose, and Henry just rolled his eyes. Patrick was odd in the sense that nothing Henry said ever got to him, so there were no verbal takedowns to be done. It was incredibly infuriating, but also a dynamic that almost had Henry believing there was someone else on this planet.
With no good comebacks, Henry just kind of grumbled cusses and continued walking. It was clear that everyone was relieved to be moving.
Once they reached their clearing, they all sat down on their respective fallen logs. Some theyâd rolled into place a while ago, some that had always been there. Greenâ too greenâ light filtered onto the fourâs figures, glossing everything with a similar muted sage if it was too harshly contrasted with the skies or leaves. Henryâs red shirt, as example, was more burnt orange than anything.
Belch ripped the plastic off the six pack heâd been carrying, and passed one out to each of them. The cool metal eased the heat of irritation, but just barely. Alcohol would fox the rest.
Halfway through Henryâs can, the knot of fury in his chest loosened. He felt like a person again. With the help of the alcohol, the boys found their rhythm.
âNo shit,â Henry said, mouth agape in a playful smiley shock. Belch was recounting the time he fist fought a coyote, but they all knew it was bullshit. Everyone except for Belch, probably.
âYeah yeah, really! Its teeth came right out. Havenât seen the toothless fuck since, yâknow. Prolly couldnâ do nothinâ but gum shit, so it starved.â
âYuh think?â Patrick added, leaned so far forward it looked like he might topple over. Patrickâs hands gripped his empty can tightly, making tendons twitch and move. Henry found himself oddly captivated.
âMm-hm!â Belch hummed proudly, drinking down his second can like it was soda. Certainly expensive soda if that was the case, though Henry never paid for anything, so he felt no impact.
Conversation slowed for a couple moments. The air was mostly filled with rustling leaves and humming cicadas, a nostalgic white noise that faded into nothing if you werenât thinking about it. A squirrel chittered. It sounded greedy. Probably a fat squirrel.
âGuys, you think I can really get Kiara?â Henry asked, biting his lip. His friends all looked at him with varying degrees of confusion, which was fair. Henry never really asked for reassurance, and he himself had no idea why this time was any different. Still, Vic answered him.
âCourse, Henry. Of course I do.â
âShe's just being⊠whatâs it called,â Belch said, taking off his hat to mess with his hair. âA priss. Or a⊠a prude, nâ all that. Sheâll come around.â
âThey always do, boss,â Patrick tagged on. Henry felt relief smooth over his arms and mind, and he relaxed a little.
âYeah, yeah. Sheâs actinâ all like that one girl a year agoâ Beverly, I think?â Vic added. âJust trynaâ look good to some other freaks, but knows she really just wants you.â
Victor's eyes said more than just that. But everyoneâs words were plenty. He could definitely get Kiara to come around. It was inevitableâ if not in the next two days, then over summer break. Yes, Henry shouldnât worry. After all, no one can simply turn down Henry Bowers.
When something bad happens to you, you may feel you have to change as a person, you act out and make up a new personality that isn't you to cope, and sometimes you take it so far you don't even remember who you are anymore, I've been dealing with this for the longest time, but I think I've found a good way to explain the way I'm trying to connect to old me and hopefully find out who I am.
Imagine your image of yourself, the way you are is a mirror, and when the bad shit happens, the mirror slightly cracks after something like that happens. You may be like me and purposely chance your personality to deal with that and try not to be like the old you to stop the feelings. Now imagine that is just you breaking the mirror even more. After a few years of this behavior, you can't even recognize your reflection anymore because the mirror has gotten so small it's just shards. So you try to find one shard you can still see yourself in (one part of your past self you still connect to) and try to feel like that version of you again. Eventually, you will connect the bits of the mirror together again. And sure, it may not be perfect, but it's you, and you can stick the bits of mirror together anyway you want. use glue? sure, stickers? why not, tape? fuck yes, that represents the you you are now still being a part of the new you maybe some shards won't fit you anymore maybe the mirror will have a different shape but it's still you in the reflection looking back at yourself.
Once you fix the mirror and find out how to be the you you were before you pretended to be someone else again, you can try and live on and change naturally because of experiences Instead of obsessively making up personalities you're trying so hard to be hoping one day one will feel right, you can slowly, over time, change, mature, and become a different person, and that person would (hopefully) be you.
Sorry if this sounds dumb it's just an idea I use to try and find myself again, I'm still working through it, so I don't know if it works yet.
please, please, please let a new animal crossing for the switch 2 be one of the launch titles. I need a new game. I've already played new leaf and new horizons so many time I'm getting a bit bored of them and I feel that if they where to give us another game I could play it and maybe after that the past games will feel fun again.
I also hope they give the villagers their personality's back cuz in new horizons. They all kinda felt the same. I want my Kyle back and obviously the other villagers I've grown to love
he/it 20my main hyperfixations rn: IT, mcr, Tomodachi life, Animal Crossing and Squid game
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