Bath Tubs That Can’t Submerge An Entire Adult Body Should Be Illegal

9,000 Followers, the Dialogue Edition

“What’s the best place to hide a magical book?” “Uh… Library?”

“Your friends are not what they seem.”

“You still hold a grudge?” “It’s all I have left.”

“Stop playing with the gravity and put me down!”

“Did you use to get things as a child when you screamed? I’ll let you know right now that it’s not going to help here.”

“There’s lot of things I don’t know but I can tell you with 100% certainty that you are fucking wrong.”

“What is this? Have I joined a cult again?”

“Ow! You nearly hurt me!”

“Are you trying to describe a concept of a dinner date?”

“I know I technically don’t need to dance… but you know, I will anyway.”

“Stop trying to sing along to the bass!”

“You are in a well? Is it more like the Buffalo Bill or the Samara one?”

“Will I be able to pet it?” “It’s a dinosaur, Michael.” “And that’s a no? I don’t wanna come if I can’t pet it.“

"I know I should be mad at you but instead I’m going to thank you.”

“Oh God, what happened!” “We tried to surf down a grass hill.”

“My favorite past time? Getting hammered and watching ancient aliens.”

“Your advice was to land on my head? You want me to die!”

“Last time I saw you, you were on fire.” “And thanks for not putting me out. Really made me appreciate our friendship.”

“You are bit tipsy but I think you might have a chance of beating him.”

“I can only offer you clingy love and a lifetime of dad jokes.” “I’ll take it.”

“You are going to be my date.” “As that seemed like an statement, I’ll take it that I have no choice in the matter?”

“I love you. And don’t even think about Han Solo-ing me.”

“So, is this something you do? Like in regular? You know, more than once?”

“Are you naked?” “I don’t know, you tend to bathe in full suit and tie?” “Sometimes I take my socks off…”

“Came here to check up on the nerds?”

“You have really started to watch an excessive amount of Spongebob Squarepants lately.” “I sense a judging tone there..”

“What are you doing?” “What am I doing? … I’ll have to come back you on that.”

“Stop trying to kick me out of the car while we are still moving!”

“It’s just so sharp and welcoming.”

“I will go whip out the febreze if you don’t get out of my apartment!”

“We are going to crash and we are going to die!”

“You should be in bed.” “Well when I eventually lose consciousness again, you are welcome to put a pillow underneath my head.”

“Are you drunk?!” “I might be. More importantly, are you making out with a psychopath?”

“Where’s your brother?” “Which one?” “You know damn well which one!”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be the one doing her stress training.”

“Shouldn’t we report this?” “How in the heck would we report it?”

“I’m going to assume that you had a not so good day.”  “What gave it away? The dead fish smell or the haircut?”

“Does it haunt you? Things you have done?”

“What do you know about killing people?”

“What the hell is it that you are trying to achieve by doing this?” “Death.”

“What? You are planning on taking them down with an pepper spray?”

“Christ, You are still on hold?” “Going in 4 hours and… 54 minutes. Has to me my personal record too.”

“Why are your kitchen cabinets filled with books?” “Do you see any space anywhere else?”

“This joke goes beyond practical and far into sadistic territory.”

“Could you call my lawyer?” “Did you kill your client?”

“There are spells that you cannot learn from any book, young mage.”

“Inferno of Honesty will relieve all.”

“Is it warm?” “You won’t get hypothermia. Just jump in!”

“She’s pulling double duty tonight. Do you know the drill?” “I’ll always keep her mug filled with coffee and transfer all the calls away?”

“We aren’t known for our mercy, little human. But there’s expectations to be made in everything.”

“That’s a shocking risk to leave for neglenance..”

“You are still convinced that you can change me?”

“Your prices are getting higher and higher, sugar.”

“Souls are more important now than ever before. You know this.”

“I encourage them to try.”

“Destroying my apartment won’t actually solve anything.”

“The higher ups are in charge for the attempts of assassinations.”

“Did they just steal our van? How goddamn stupid are they?”

“My lunch just disappeared? And how did that happen?”

“What was the aim here? To punch her lights out and hope you can get across town before she comes back to?”

“There’s lot to be desired here, pal.”

“That happened 5 minutes ago. Not enough time to start developing conspiracy theories.”

“You need to speak at the gathering.” “And there goes all my self-confidence…”

“There are always tragic accidents that can happen. And this is not a threat.”

“What did we agree about doing potions in the good blender?!”

“What will you get from murdering him!?” His partner screamed over all of the chaos.

“Sleep.” He said, desperate and on the edge of crying. “I just want to sleep…”

“I’m sure I’m related to them somehow, I’m just not sure how.”

“Showing up some aggressive underboob there.”

“Can you still call it homemade when you’re homeless?”

“You know him far better than anybody else, you could have made it hurt more than that.”

“And now, raise your hand if you even bothered to do your bare minimum homework!”

“Hey, why do you have printed out instructions on how to make a blowtorch between the pages of ‘Prisoner of Azkaban’?”

“I shall welcome the gallows with a smile. I am not afraid to dance with the angels of revenge.”

“There’s cockroaches in the kitchen! Oh my God, Jesus Christ, run! To the bathroom!”

“In my not so extensive research; you got about 7 minutes before the cops get here.”

“You know what, I know how crazy I will make this sound, but… There’s an exorcism going on in your living room and I can’t let you go in.”

“Okay, wow, you just dumped a lot of information on my lap and no time to proceed it.”

“You tackled a guy off a motorcycle. You need to calm down.”

“You can’t sleep in my bar. Get up and out.”

“I’m a civilian consultant of sorts.”

“I don’t think that the word ‘homeless’ is useable her situation.”

“You are so smart!" "Woah. No, my brain barely contains the minimum information to stay alive.”

“Bring me a candle! A real candle, not a fucking birthday one!”

“Sweetheart, why are you laying on our kitchen table?” “Contemplating.” “Ah, always fun.”

“I would personally like to use the stairs, if you please…”

“Nothing will ever be as simple as black and white.”

“Please refrain from throwing up and if you do, aim away from this control panel specifically.”

“You are such a child.” “Immature professional, at most.”

“One tends to begin to possess certain amount of snarkiness over the multiple years alive.”

“Going out?” “Have to keep my relationships with certain resoures.”

“Do you think it’s disrespectful to play ping pong with this book?”

“How was my exit?” “Bit dramatic for my taste, but the door slam was absolutely top notch.”  

“Why did you throw a dress at me?” “You are going to wear it tonight.”

“Girlfriend meet brother. Brother meet girlfriend.”

“You do not choose the family you are born in, but you have all the choices afterwards.”

“Any practicular reason as to why our mother is doing yoga on the roof of our house?”

“Nothing in this fucking town stays dead!”

“Walk the hell out of here before I have to carry you.”

“I think you might have forgotten that I’m married to a half-alien superpowered badass woman.”

wow, it’s in writing.

word.

REY DOES NOT NEED A STRONG BLOODLINE AS JUSTIFICATION FOR HER POWERS. I REPEAT. REY DOES NOT NEED A STRONG BLOODLINE AS JUSTIFICATION FOR HER POWERS. 

my whole heart.

ohmygodyes.

I saw Bohemian Rhapsody last night…

I’m still feeling a lot but I’ll do my best at sharing my thoughts.

SPOILERS AHEAD SO DO NOT READ AFTER THIS.

- I was so happy that it started with “Somebody to Love”. I had no shame in singing along.

- I need to know if Rami actually sang at the beginning of the film after Roger made a joke about his teeth (which by the way, shame on you Roger. I love you though).

- I don’t understand why people were upset. Everything he was, was acknowledged. His ethnicity, his heritage, his sexuality. All of it. They respected him. I loved that.

- I love that they acknowledge what they all did before they became Queen. My boys are smart & educated.

- I love that they still kept the secret that is the meaning of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. They could’ve easily revealed it in the movie but they respected Freddie by not saying anything. Also Rami did amazing in the scene where Freddie’s writing it.

- The “I’m In Love With My Car” shaming was fucking hilarious.

- GWILYM LEE AS BRIAN MAY THOUGH. He is literally Brian.

- The live performance scenes were fucking delightful. So realistic. It made me feel like I was there. Since I’ll never get that experience, I’m glad they did that.

- Bisexual was said in a movie, which is awesome.

- THE CATS

- I actually liked that they made it a point that Mary Austin was a big part of Freddie’s life.

- Mike Myers’ cameo was so fucking great. As a fan of Wayne’s World & Queen, it made me so happy. The reference was everything.

- It was interesting the way they introduced Jim Hutton. I thought they’d stay true to what actually happened but I still liked it. Grateful that they acknowledged Jim at all.

- I DIED WHEN THEY RECREATED A BIT OF “I WANT TO BREAK FREE” IT’S MY FAVORITE SONG/VIDEO

- I’m glad that they showed the not so happy things about Freddie. Because no one is perfect & I’m glad that they didn’t gloss over it.

- FREDDIE SAID MY FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME IN THE FILM & I DIED

- I loved the chemistry between the guys. You could tell they had gotten close, like Queen did.

- RAMI MALEK. Wow. He went all in on this role. So honest & respectful. Just excellent.

- All The guys did excellent. I saw my boys & forgot at times they were actors.

- The “Another One Bites The Dust” scene was intense & then really funny. John’s just chilling with his bass while there’s a fight happening. I loved that scene so much.

- Hell, I loved all the scenes between the band. They were so good.

- LIVE AID. I’m so happy that they started & ended with it.

- I sang along to everything during the whole movie & I gave no fucks because you can’t help but sing these songs. Especially during the Live Aid scene. Freddie always has his power to control a crowd.

- For the first time ever, “We Are the Champions” made me cry. I was sobbing. And when “Don’t Stop Me Now” started, I sobbed harder.

- I stayed through the credits because I was a wreck & also “The Show Must Go On”.

This movie to me, was everything I hoped it would be. It was honest, respectful & just fun. I give it 100%. Fuck reviews. If you love Queen, you’ll love it. If you’re not a Queen fan, you’ll have a great time.

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry