Aethererebus - The Forest Of Stars

inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually

"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

this might come as a surprise but I might have issues not sure tho

i am simultaneously self-improving and being self destructive dont ask me how i just am

holy fuck why does it always feel like i’m asking for too much, always asking too much.

you’re fucking crazy if you don’t want to grow old with someone and love them forever and ever

i feel like “sometimes your self diagnosis can be wrong/disproven by a professional” and “nobody knows what goes on in your mind better than you” are sentences that can and should coexist

ive seen tons of passive aggressive posts on here saying “if your psychologist “refuses” to diagnose you with something you probably dont have it (: hope this helps (:” when thats a horrible thing to try to push without lots of nuance

minorities tend to get misdiagnosed a lot - afabs, poc, queer people, all of which ive seen have serious conditions like schizophrenia/DID/other personality disorders be brushed off as the modern day hysterical (usually just “youre bipolar, get medicated and get out of my office”). not to mention for more stigmatized disorders like cluster b disorders are insanely difficult to get diagnosed if you dont fit a very specific checklist (when doing research into npd, 99% of the articles are just “people with npd are inherently abusive and will imminently manipulate their loved ones when their feelings are hurt so beeee carefulllll!!!”)

things like DID are also under researched and theres even psychologists that think it doesnt even exist or that you have to fit one mold to count as an actual system and if you slip up once and break that mold you’re probably faking or misdiagnosing yourself.

being told “haha your therapist is omnipotent and their word is law” in our experience (with many disorders and vulnerability problems to put it lightly) can be incredibly damaging, especially to people who are trying to shine light and find communities to discuss what theyre being troubled with. yes, your symptoms arent going to magically disappear because a person with a doctorate said they dont exist, but (again, from experience) you can either consciously or subconsciously smother those symptoms because “my therapist obviously knows best and im definitely faking which makes me a horrible person”

idk it just feels shitty to say “this person you barely know outside of telling them what youre struggling with is the deciding factor and their word is LAW in your life”

i'm not ghosting you, i forgot i was real