Mreow. Meow. Hey. Mreow. Hey. Hey. Mmeow. Hey. Dude Fucking Look At Me. Hey. Mmmeow

for the first time in forever (reprise) from the frozen soundtrack

@slicedquartz @gerard2parenthesesreal /nf dw lolz

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

The humble and beautiful PDF does not deserve to now have the term “PDF file” be a censored version of the word pedophile. She has been nothing but good to us. You all apologize right now

I have a joke about math but im 2² to say it

everything. cost money

i’m not hot enough to make up for how weird i am

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

why can't i just run away into the woods and rot into the ground and join the bugs and critters??? typical...

i like speaking nonsense. i find things there sometimes.

anyone wanna take me out back and shoot me like an old dog