He Felt This Since Childhood. Everyone Is Looking At Him. When He Was Outside, He Felt Everyone's Gaze
He felt this since childhood. Everyone is looking at him. When he was outside, he felt everyone's gaze on himself. It made his skin crawl. Despite the fact that every time he turned around to realize that no one was actually looking, he couldn't shake off this feeling. That horrifying thought always gnawed on his sanity. Everyone — every single person — is looking at his clothes, monitoring his footsteps, listening to his voice; everyone would not miss the chance to devour him the moment he slips up, the moment they see a flaw, a mismatch, inaccuracy. He felt like he was under constant scrutiny.
He had learned to live with it. His every thought, his every action and every word must comply with strict guidelines the society has set, must add to his perfect image and not subtract from it. In a new place he must choose the only correct path out of millions possibilities. One that would make him seem like a good person, good, trustworthy and righteous man. One that would earn him being treated with humanity and respect.
The feeling followed him into adulthood. Now, when he had taken on William's name, he must control his image with even more scrutiny. Is his voice low enough? Is his stance too relaxed? Does his body look normal enough? When he first saw himself in the mirror, the person he must be, he stopped eating. One pound of fat could ruin this perfect image. Two weeks later Louis force-fed him, muttering something under his breath. William only smiled weakly and fell asleep in the plate of Louis' stew. He wasn't able to fight off his own mind any further.
He started doubting himself. Rather, he never stopped doing that since he had learned that important thing about himself. A child, he immediately doubted the conclusion he had reached. He had heard that people like him are abnormal, insane. No matter how much efforts he put into complying with society's own guidelines, that same society would push him away. He had heard that people like him are killed. He had seen that many times.
His reflection isn't his anymore. He's just pretending. Putting on someone else's skin with that someone else's clothes, hair and mannerisms. Nothing was his. He has just borrowed his skin. It looks out of place on him. Everyone can surely see that. The longer he looks in the mirror, the more he feels sick. Everything he has grown to consider his doesn't belong on him.
"Brother are you alright?" Louis asks with audible concern and wraps his arms around William's shoulders. It's somewhat soothing.
He forces himself to close his eyes and tries to smile. He is sure that it looks forced and tight. Because it's just not her face.
ohhh, i have just pissed off a good chunk of russian fandom and got told to a) lock myself up somewhere and throw away my phone, b) visit a psychologist, c) kms.
another thing they said is that we're not in english fandom. my friends told me that i should post it here. so i will. after i translate it.
and remember, not all in our fandom are like that. no. idiots are just a bit more socially acceptable there.
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DN RAREPAIR WEEK - DAY 1
Shinigami | Premonitions | Fate
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reblog with a spoiler for your wip with zero context. no context allowed.
does anyone actually ever refer to matt with a pronoun in canon. this is a sincere question
alyssum: worth beyond beauty, insanity
red poppy: consolation, remembrance, death
fuck. circles on my desktop. maybe if i ignore them they'll go away
блять ну почему всё круглое....
i'm going back to my phone i don't want to see this update...
oh are we making aromantic trend? hell yeah reblog if you're aromantic or if you want to beat everyone who says 'you'll find someone eventually' to death with hammers. in solidarity.
RATING LIGHT YAGAMI'S OUTFIT pt. 5
from the colored manga. we finally reached the turtleneck yall. (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)
npa light outift. it's timeskip time yall. and he only gets better looking. blue suit is really his deal, seriously. he looks v attractive in this, me think. 8.7/10
sayu's kidnapping outfit. light yagami explain this please? at least the anime get rid of the stripes and make it plain black. this one....uhhh what 😃. i'm no fashion expert but this one is not for you light, sorry. 1.6/10
still fighting L outfit. *sigh* you know, i know that your sister just got kidnapped and all but light please, you look like a 00s (or whatever) boyband member in an mv. the green and black is not too bad, but the white pants? yall laugh at him for wearing khakis but say absolutely nothing about his white pants? 😭. 1.4/10
let him wear a corset outfit. sexy. though it doesn't look quite as special with the jacket on. looks better when he unbuttons it all hehe. and uhhh a corset would work good here light, come on. you said it yourself. 7/10
mafia scheming outfit. not special tbh. he kinda wore this before though, in yotsuba arc? but it's like, different era and he def doesn't have that jacket back then. he looks a lot better in it than his 18 yo self anyway. 5.6/10
i love my girlfriend outfit. he looks like he's wearing a thin short sleeve undershirt here but knowing light it'll probably be a sweater. not much comment but i want to see him without the jacket. 4.7/10
dad pls no outfit. uhhh this color. it doesn't look nice. don't mind the shirt though the all the way zipper kinda makes it awkward. 3.3/10
near is a little shit outfit. okay listen. this. this is good. idk why the shirt turn white in one panel but i like the black ones. he looks so good and attractive. yes sir. i'd forgive his other fashion choices for this. 8.7/10
let's involve takada into this mess outfit. actually. the white pants is not bad in this one. though he looks pretty boring. he just have his undershirt peeks as fashion choice since 2004 huh. 5/10
and now....
the turtleneck™ outfit aka the star of our show.
the outfit where light yagami reached his peak sluttiness. the outfit we know and love, popular for reasons. the reason why i make this series in the first place. idk what obata was on when he made this decision but it's one of his best decision. ever. he ate and left no single crumb. it's angsty, sexy, smart, slutty, and just. no other words. no one can criticize the rating, thank you. 28021984/10
So you know when you're writing a scene where the hero is carrying an injured person and you realize you've never been in this situation and have no idea how accurate the method of transportation actually is?
Oh boy, do I have a valuable resource for you!
Here is a PDF of the best ways to carry people depending on the situation and how conscious the injured person needs to be for the carrying position.
Literally a life saver.
(No pun intended.)
| Art Instagram - @Nanalytix | 🤍
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