Local Dumbass Just Started Season 5: "The Birthday Scene Wrecked Me."

I have decided that one of my favorite things about the Magnus Archives is that the one of the only unsexualized monsters or creatures (whether by the fandom or in the show) is the Vampires. I've literally never seen anything even mentioning them in a sexual or even romantic light. We were all collectively like "hnngnh seggsy hallway wife and husband 🥵♥️😳 werewolf cop lady step on me 🖐️😩 clown wife pls take my skin 🤪♥️🤡 oh vampire cool ig🙄 Where is my eyeball dilf at 👁️👁️🥵😍 prentiss🐛worm🐛me🐛pls 🥺🥺♥️"

I'm at episode 118, Tim I asked you not to die, IF I GO TO THE NEXT EPISODE AND DON'T HEAR YOUR VOICE I'LL BE CRYING FOR A WEEK.

So, some thoughts about episode 117:

"I don’t quite get those two. I suppose what they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… it’s a hell of a bond." I thought that with the Eye's power you would be better at seeing things like this one

But then again, you haven't seen how much Martin's been trying to get closer to you, so I should've expected that.

THEY'RE GAY, ARCHIVIST-

God, Basira, I just want to hug the shit out of you.

"How the hell did I end up having to save the world?" Dear I don't have the slightest clue, other than Elias Bouchard being a dick and involving you and your girlfriend into this mess.

Melanie being awkward is adorable, but then she monologues about her violent tendency and thoughts against Elias...

I am worried.

Like, Miss King, please, PLEASE. I know Elias Bouchard is, as you said, and asshole, but please don't.

I know that at least two entities feed on violence and FUCK I DON'T WANNA LOSE ANYONE TO THEM-

"Good luck, John. I do hope you win." Good Melanie! :)

"...But I also hope it hurts." Bad Melanie! :(

I love every single Martin interaction.

EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Baby! Dear! Don't worry! It's normal to feel scared!

 "I need them to be safe, I need him to be okay. So-sorry, umm." Don't say sorry, dearie, you just made my day, don't say sorry-

Oh, okay Daisy, good talk. :)

Getting ready to kick some plastic ass!

God, seeing Tim this fiery and passionate is SO GOOD, but, as I said for Melanie, PLEASE DON'T DO DUMB SHIT.

"I’m gonna hurt them, though. I’m gonna hurt the thing that stole my brother and wrecked my life." UHHHH, TIM?! PLEASE DON'T DIE-

"I’m the distraction. If it looks like any of the circus folk, mannequins, whatever, are gonna see the others, I’m to make the biggest mess I can, draw them away, keep them busy." TIM, LOVE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE TODAY, ARE YOU?!

"I don’t expect I’m going to be coming back from this. I don’t know if I want to."

TIM NOOOOOOO-

I was expecting a quiet little episode, AND I GOT SIMON FUCKING FAIRCHILD-

I already loved the concept of an old man flying out planes for fun... Hearing him interact with people, FUCK.

I love his character already... I can't say I'm disappointed.

Frankenstein won’t hesitate to poke fun at Creature about it but approves of Hyde, exclusively from knowing he set London on fire. That’s some “proper” mad scientist behavior right there, striking terror into the masses and all that.

tainted love but scout

[CLICK]

[DUMBASS]

A Season Two Finale, a commentary by an insignificant little woman, head dumbass of my household, somewhere in Europe.

Commentary Begins.

[DUMBASS, COMMENTARY]

AAAAAAAHHH-

You know what I'm going to say...

"APOLOGIES FOR THE DECEPTION"?! REALLY?!

You have to do a lot more for me to accept the apology, Jonah.

Some may argue that Russel doesn’t get enough love from fans, but his bandmates sure appreciate him. 

(Another extract from “We Are The Dury”)

Mike Crew: No more than 5′ tall. 

Simon Fairchild: “Tiny, pink skeleton of a man.”

So what I’m saying is all Vast avatars are tiny and are compensating by having their huge endless patron.