We’re Not Heroes. We’re From Finchley.

very important question: what the fuck is starkid. can somebody give me a quick crash course.

Technoblade and hallucinations

I am very very new to the dream smp fandom, but can I just say that I love it? It’s fucking awesome. I just started watching canon two days ago, and I’m hooked, ladies and gentlemen. I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but I’m hooked. 

I came here for a reason, though, not just to introduce myself, though that might be a good place to start. Hi! I’m strawberry frog, you can call me frog, or strawberry, I don’t care which, and I suffer from hallucinations, which is why last night when I stumbled upon the subsection of fanfiction where Technoblade has hallucinations, it made me cry so hard I called my friend up in a huff and a fuss and she thought I was dying. I was so happy. I was so happy, guys, I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. (Ha, I’m saying guys like I have an audience-- remember, kids, words are just for the void. Nobody knows me, and so long as I don’t know them they can’t hurt me.) 

Technoblade has hallucinations! Technoblade has hallucinations! Technoblade has schizophrenia in AUs, Technoblade has hallucinations and they cause him problems and they cause him paranoia and distress and all of the things that they cause me and it’s not just part of some half-assed trope where the hallucinations are just a false diagnosis and it’s really just magic powers, superpowers, supernatural influence. No. Technoblade has powers, sure, but the hallucinations aren’t his powers. They’re a side-affect, and a harmful one at that, and I have spent too many long nights hiding alone in my bed from monsters only I can see waiting for this. It makes me so happy, in that twisted, cruel way that being seen in distress strikes your soul like midnight church bells. 

My hallucinations are debilitating. I spend days awake at a time, simply hearing my best friend’s death cry on repeat and wondering if this time it’s real or if I’m being stupid again and wondering when it’s going to stop. Technoblade tries his best to drown out the cries for blood, I do my best to drown out my fucked-up delusions and the people I see in my side-view mirror who disappear when I look twice. 

I just. I want to know, how did a fucking minecraft fandom make me feel more seen that anything else I’ve ever consumed in my entire life? Please, somebody, tell me. I’ll even present my application for people to talk to me about it. 

See? Here: PROS AND CONS OF TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE DREAM SMP

pros: 

-I will love you forever

-I know basically like two things so you can explain everything to me in incredible detail and I will listen with great attention and interest and it will make you feel important

-Maybe I’ll write something for you one day

-I’m a lesbian

-I’m the funniest person I know

-I like Technoblade

cons:

-None that I foresee

So. Talk to me? 

it's garlic oil. it's a home remedy for ear pain and tinnitus. it does actually help pain a lot of the time. it's just like ear drops for ear pain.

I don't trust this and you shouldn't either!

me: *writes fic*

me: great! time to post to ao3-

ao3 summary box: *exists*

me: 

ao3 summary box:

me:

ao3 summary box: 

me:

How am I only just learning this!?

I can be shaped by more than the things that hurt me

Source

he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure