PLEASE DON’T LET US DIE ‼️

thank you doraemon <333

I THOUGHT THIS SPOILER WASNT GONNA BE THAT BAD DAMM

romances where men are stupid for their woman are so important to me

My god if I didnt have a shit computer then I would have installed him in a heartbeat

LMK MACAQUE DESKTOP GHOST/UKAGAKA

Get yourself a devious monkey for your computer screen to interact with!! 🐒💜(#ghost macaque) (last update 19.05.2023 - the launch!)

⚠!!SPOILERS for Lego Monkie Kid first 4 seasons!!⚠

Made in one week for Ghost Jam 2023, hosted by @ukagakadreamteam, Macaque doesn't include a lot of features or dialogue... but he's still very pettable!

Ask him how he's doing every time you boot him up!

PET HIS HEAD

Befriend him and unlock more dialogue

Includes a look with six ears! (right click on him -> change shell -> six eared macaque ✨)

Have him do small stuff like change your computer background or empty your recycle bin

🐒INSTALL HIM!🐒

⏩DOWNLOAD HIM HERE! ⏪

The link above should bring you to the website with step-by-step instructions on how you can install this guy on your PC!

⚠!!BE AWARE, THIS IS LOADED WITH MY HEADCANONS!! SOME THINGS MIGHT SEEM OOC!!⚠

✨I have a question/encountered a bug/encountered a spelling mistake!✨

Message me away! If you think something is wonky, a weird expression or bad grammar, please @ me, send me an ask or dm me 🙏 This also goes for the suggestions you may have or the things you like about Macaque here and want to share with me, my ask box and suggestions are open!! It's been done in a week so no wonder I missed a lot of stuff, so I appreciate all of the feedback you may have 💖

✨Thanks and inspirations✨

Huge thanks to @rainbowmoonmaiden86 for testing some stuff for me 🙏

And huge thanks to @/zarla-s for a fantastic tutorial with a great template for Ghost creation, \if you're interested in learning more you should definitely check it out!

And thanks to @ukagakadreamteam for making the event, and being huge help with the ghost making and being patient with my dumb butt 🙏💖 The community is so welcoming it warms my heart, and I'm happy to be a participant in a project like this!

✨Thank you for reading!!✨

Yes yes yes

admit it

synopsis. loving him from afar was enough. at least, it should’ve been enough. until it wasn’t. (or, in which you subtly take care of your ex, bakugou katsuki, who also happens to be the namesake of the agency you’re working at)

cw. fem!reader, worker!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~24 yrs old)

word count. 5.0k words

Being the HR Department Head of the Ground Riot agency, you’ve learned to take care of Pro Hero Dynamight in subtle ways.

Primarily because even though he isn’t technically your direct superior—he rarely dabbled in admin work as compared to his co-founder Kirishima Eijirou—you didn’t want to stir up drama or reports on inappropriate workplace relationships.

Especially as the head of the Human Relations department.

But that’s not the only reason.

It’s also because—well, he’s your ex.

The ex who you never really understood in terms of how he became that.

“You know, we really need to redecorate this place.”

Mikuri, your colleague from the PR department, muses as she scans the breakroom from her spot on the L-shaped sofa.

You place the black coffee pods you picked up on your way home yesterday near the coffee machine, “Tell that to Finance. The breakroom decor is probably the least of their worries.”

She merely sighs in response as she reverts her attention to her phone.

“You do know that doom scrolling during your break isn’t exactly resting, right?”

At that, she pouts but doesn’t look up. “I hear you, Ms. HR.”

You playfully roll your eyes at the nickname.

“Stocking up on coffee during one’s break isn’t exactly resting, either.”

At her mention of the beverage, your eyes drift back to the pods you have in your hands. You found that they ran out before your shift ended the day prior and were quick to buy refills.

“What are you doing with that flavor, anyway?” she finally lifts her head to regard you, pocketing her phone as she stands up. You look up at the wall clock—break time’s almost over. “Didn’t you dislike that?”

You smile to yourself, fiddling with capsules. Mikuri was right—you didn’t really like this flavor.

But Katsuki did.

And he still does, you think.

“Y/N!”

You whip your head around to see the owner of the familiar voice—Kirishima, decked out in his hero gear, looking like he’s about to head out for patrol.

“Hey! What’s up, Ei?”

He grins, head sticking through the slightly ajar sliding door, “I’m good! ‘s a good thing I ran into you—Bakugou got called out on an emergency mission.”

He nods at Mikuri in greeting, smile still adorning his face, before shifting his gaze back at you. “Looks like it’s still gonna be me and you during the final screening later.”

His eyes dart toward the coffee machine and the freshly stocked pods. Your hips shuffle in front of it before your brain could even catch up.

“Great, see you then!”

With that, Kirishima flashes you a final grin before easing out of the door and heading toward the elevators.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Final screening?” Mikuri whisper-shouts the second Kirishima’s out of sight.

You sigh, collecting the packaging and shoving it into the trash bin. “Sidekicks. He finally got Bakugou to say yes to getting one.”

“Oof, good luck with that.”

“Personally, I think it boils down to these two.”

You thrust forward the two sets of files in front of you, eyeing everyone seated at the oval-shaped meeting table.

“I agree,” your HR subordinate chimes in from the far end of the table.

“I vote for web dude,” another adds. “He’s so much like Bakugou personality-wise. They’d have to click.”

The recruitment head shakes her head, “Yeah, but his quirk doesn’t complement Bakugou’s explosion as much as the girl’s water jet.”

“I know, Yamakawa-san. But did you even see her? She’s so timid, I’ll bet you 5,000 yen that she’ll quit on day 1 of Bakugou shouting at her.”

Murmurs of agreement course through the room, but you’re not paying attention to what they’re whispering to each other.

“I doubt he’ll want someone so similar to him,” you mumble to yourself.

Apparently, you say it loud enough because everyone looks at you in confusion.

Shit.

“I mean, imagine how much of a PR and HR nightmare that will be,” you joke, although it comes out a bit stilted. Fortunately, they, including Kirishima who is seated at your right and at one end of the table, chuckle at your wisecrack.

“Are you voting for the girl, then?” the recruitment head inquires once the laughter dies down.

“Well…” you pause, “I agree that Moriyama-san is remarkably meek and timid, but just from her series of interviews, let alone her practical test, I could see she liked a good challenge.”

You tap her portrait, “Beyond just being a good match for Bakugou’s quirk, she’ll surely step up. And I know for a fact that if there’s anyone who can guarantee that, it’s Katsuki.”

At that, some eyes widen, and you can’t help but tilt your head in confusion at the perplexed looks they’re giving you.

“I mean, Bakugou!” you backtrack, finally realizing your mistake.

Desperate to change the subject, you direct your attention toward Kirishima. “What do you think, Kirishima-san?”

He passes you a knowing smile, one that is too unnerving for your liking, before leaning back on his chair.

“I think you’re right.”

You allow yourself to do some internal chastising the minute the meeting is adjourned.

Hiding your complicated feelings for Bakugou was easy—mainly because you rarely saw him around.

But hiding how much you knew about him?

That’s a whole different story.

“Good work, Y/N,” Kirishima pats you on the shoulder as the rest of your recruitment crew pile to exit the room.

You flash him a thankful smile before hopping on your feet and gathering your documents. “I’m trying not to make you regret hiring me, boss.”

He chuckles good-naturedly before looking away in what you think is reluctance.

“What is it?” you prod, feeling a sense of uneasiness crawl through your spine.

He seems to hesitate before continuing, “I was just gonna say—you always know what’s best for Bakugou.”

At that, your expression falters, and you feel your shoulders tensing at the mention of Bakugou’s name. You refuse to let your hurt (or whatever the fuck it is you’re feeling) show on your face, though.

Instead, you shrug as nonchalantly as you can. “I just want the best for my bosses.”

Kirishima doesn’t say anything after that, but you can tell the gears are running in his brain. He simply nods in acknowledgment of your response before heading for the door himself, and you follow suit.

You’re at the doorway, stifling a tired yawn when you lock eyes with the man of the hour himself.

“Bakubro!” Kirishima exclaims in greeting. He encases Bakugou in a bro hug, which the latter begrudgingly accepts. “You got the mission done and over with?”

Bakugou, in all of his costume-decked glory, eyes the redhead and scoffs, “Obviously.”

His eyes flicker to yours. You nod at each other in lieu of a verbal greeting.

“You just missed the meeting,” Kirishima starts, vaguely aware of the palpable tension between the two of you. “We found’em—your first-ever sidekick!”

You almost want to laugh at how Bakugou doesn’t match Kirishima’s energy.

He simply grunts in response.

But Kirishima’s not the type to give up so easily. Instead, he adds: “Y/N made the final decision.”

You stiffen at the mention of your name, Bakugou’s eyes shifting toward you at the same time. You brace yourself for a snarky retort or a lame insult, but nothing comes.

Instead, he merely gives you a firm nod.

“Thanks.”

At that, he makes his way to his corner office.

You were only reminded that your HR personnel was still around when murmurs erupted in Bakugou’s wake.

“Just like that?”

“Wait, he’s in?”

“Wow, never thought he was capable of saying thank you.”

“Yeah, all I get is a halfhearted eye roll.”

The last comment would’ve made you snort if you weren’t too dazed by how uncharacteristic that was of Bakugou. You stand there for what feels like minutes as the others around you start toward their respective offices.

Finally snapping out of the trance the second you realized you were alone in the hallway, you head toward your own office, renewed with the resolve to take your mind off of one Bakugou Katsuki.

You had just the thing to keep yourself busy.

The monthly HR-hosted game night of Ground Zero agency is the one HR activity everyone actually looked forward to.

It’s the one time of the month employees get to let loose during weekdays and bond with colleagues, as well as enjoy free food and drinks, including the occasional booze.

It is also a pain in the ass to organize.

As the HR department head, you technically served as the project head, too, overseeing all of the subcommittees—from programs to logistics—on top of your everyday workload.

Suffice to say, the week before game nights never fails to whoop you in the ass with crushing responsibilities (and for the record, you’re not overreacting—you take your HR events very seriously) but you dare say that the outcomes and seeing everyone enjoy themselves always make it worth it.

For this month, in the spirit of encouraging employee engagement in your department, you let the Recruitment and Selection subdepartment be in charge of the program’s game proper.

In hindsight, maybe you shouldn’t have.

Because now your very own HR members are dragging everyone to answer very personal truth-or-dare questions.

And ‘everyone’ happened to include Bakugou Katsuki.

“Bakugou-san!” an employee from the engineering department regards said man, who, by some miracle, has let himself be forced into playing.

Having chosen the ‘truth’ option, he is now seated on the mini-stage you happened to help set up earlier that afternoon.

One of your subordinates hands the support items engineer a microphone. The latter taps the mic before resuming, glee evident in her voice. “How many people have you dated?”

Cheers go off from all around the room at the question, and you shoot a withering glare at your assigned subdepartment members. One catches your eye and visibly cringes.

But goes on pretending they didn’t see you.

Fucking hell.

Grabbing yourself a microphone from the sound booth, you speak into it, trying not to freak out over the fact that this will very much be the first time you’ll verbally address Bakugou in two years.

“Apologies, Bakugou-san,” you start, “You don’t have to answer that.”

Everyone looks at you in bewilderment, including Bakugou who himself looks puzzled.

You take the lull that has befallen upon the room as a sign to continue.

“Such questions are deemed inappropriate as per HR standards. I’m going to have to speak with my subordinates after this.”

You expected uneasy silence as a response, but you sure as hell didn’t anticipate the plethora of jeers that erupt in the room, some even exclaiming exasperated ‘come on’s’.

You’re about to insist (as calmly as you can, that is) when a low, gruff voice crackles from the speakers.

“‘s fine. I’ll answer the fucking question.”

The room goes entirely still. You hold your breath.

He heaves a sigh, and you could’ve sworn his gaze flickered to you for a moment before he looks away.

“Just one.”

Oohs and aahs get passed around, and despite yourself, you feel a shot of relief course through your veins at the implication of Bakugou’s answer.

He hasn’t dated since you.

“Are you guys still together?” a male employee shouts from the other end of the room, and you can’t help the rush of blood toward your cheeks at the question.

You need to put your foot down, now.

“Okay,” you interject, “that’s enou–”

“No. We broke up two years ago.”

Your head whips toward Bakugou’s direction, shocked at his ready admission. The reprimanding words that you were about to spit out die in your throat.

“You plan on seeing anyone anytime soon?” another employee asks from the other far corner.

You’re about to pipe up in protest—distressed over the inappropriate questions, as the HR head or ex-girlfriend, you don’t know—when Kirishima stands up and barks out a good-natured laugh.

“I think that’s enough prodding, you guys.” His eyes flicker to Bakugou’s and then yours in a split second, face etched with concern, before he turns back his attention to the crowd, a toothy grin having replaced his previous expression.

You didn’t realize how tense your muscles have gotten until Kirishima stepped in to intervene, and at that, you slowly let out a big exhale through your nose.

God fucking no. The last thing you need is for your co-workers to find out that the HR head, of all people, is their boss’s ex.

Before you can even spiral further, though, you feel a hand clap your upper back. You twist to find Kirishima, who is, weirdly enough, beaming with excitement.

“We actually have something special planned for a special someone today.”

And as if on cue, the rest of your HR department enters the room, with your secretary carrying your favorite cake and the others holding balloons and a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

You don’t remember telling anyone about your favorites except for one person.

Confused, you turn towards Kirishima. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?” he mimics, amused at your confusion and the employees who hear laugh. “It’s your one-year anniversary in the agency!”

You could only gape in shock as the people around you, the ones you, over time, grew to identify as family, crowd you and urge you to blow out the candle and accept the flowers.

Still disoriented, you do what they tell you, and they cheer in response as you do so.

With all the busyness that came with the search for sidekicks and the monthly HR game night, you completely forgot about the significance of today’s date.

Overwhelmed by the sentiments and the sea of people surrounding you, you don’t know where to look or mouth a thank you.

Somehow, your gaze finds Bakugou’s—only to see him already looking at you from behind the crowd.

You’re about to look away, unable to sustain his piercing gaze, when he flashes you a small smile.

None of those smirks or mischievous grins he usually sports around other people.

No, this one was different.

Because this was the kind of smile he’d reserved especially for private moments with you.

Before you can give it a second thought, you find yourself smiling back.

“You really couldn’t be bothered to change into normal clothes before coming here?”

You, as inconspicuously as you can, look around the café you’re currently in, wary of paparazzi or anyone else that could recognize Pro Hero Pinky. The last thing you needed was a picture of you (the lucky civilian), haggard after a long day of work, all over Twitter.

“Nah,” she shrugs, “patrol was completely uneventful anyway. I’ll shower when I get home.”

You reach for your iced drink, mumbling under your breath, “I wasn’t worried about you…”

“Hey!” she pouts, “Is that how you treat a friend who’s done you a major favor?”

Your eye twitches at the mention of a favor.

These things never end well with Mina.

“Mina…” you groan, “what did you do?”

She rubs her neck sheepishly. “I kind of promised one of my colleagues that you’d go on a blind date with him.”

“What the fuck?”

She grabs your hand over the table that sits between the two of you. “He’s a real catch, I promise you. Tall, handsome, and a crazy smart support items engineer.”

You frantically shake your head, yanking your hand from her. “Idiot, I’m not worried about your ‘candidate’. Who the fuck said I wanted to go on a blind date?”

Mina whines and thrashes in her seat in response, maybe in an attempt to make you feel sorry and just go along with her antics.

You refuse to do so.

After a few minutes of an incredulous stare-off, she finally deflates in defeat.

“I just thought I could help you out and get you out of your shell. You haven’t dated anyone since…” she trails off, and looks away awkwardly, “you know.”

You chuckle despite yourself, albeit quite solemnly.

Until now, it still makes you feel guilty how the rest of your friend group is forced to deal with the aftermath of your unsuccessful relationship with Bakugou.

“You can say his name, you know. He’s not Voldemort.”

Mina rolls her eyes at that, but you can tell it’s playful more than anything else.

You look down at your now clasped hands. “I appreciate the help, you know that.”

She nods vigorously, and you almost laugh at how much of a textbook-active listener she is.

“But?”

You sigh, “I just can’t right now. If I end up dating someone, word will eventually get around in the office and I just…”

You lock eyes with Mina, whose eyebrows are raised in anticipation.

“I don’t want to make things awkward between Bakugou and me, especially now that I’m working in his agency.”

A few moments of silence pass before Mina speaks up, slunk against her chair.

“Man, you’re the world’s best ex-girlfriend, you know that?”

You snort, “Thanks.”

She sighs in exasperation, “I mean, even if you guys had the most ambiguous breakup ever, you still are extremely considerate about him.”

You’re not, by any means, in the mood or headspace to explore why that is, so you go for the safest answer possible.

“What can I say,” leaning back into your chair yourself, feigning nonchalance, “I’m just an incredibly good person.”

Mina doesn’t even bat an eye at your quip, “Yeah, yeah. Why did you guys break up, anyway?”

“Woah,” you lean back, aghast, “it’s,” you flick your wrist to check the time on your watch, “5:17 PM, Mina. And I doubt this café even serves a beer.”

You’re deflecting, and Mina has known you long enough to be aware of that.

She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms across her chest. “Don’t you think I’m owed a little bit of information? I’m the one who set you guys up.”

“Actually, that was Kirishi–.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she interjects, “I helped.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. She waves it off.

“Point is, I was there when this budding relationship started, and I’m here to know the deets about how it ended.”

You shake your head in resignation, “You sure you don’t want to say you’re just nosy?”

She grins at you, “Nope!”

“So you’re telling me he got too busy and neglectful, you ended up asking for a break, and you’ve never talked to each other since?”

“Yep. That’s what I just said.”

Out of the blue, she hops onto her feet, and in doing so knocks stuff around on the table.

A glass of water almost spills.

“Mina?” you seethe, “Sit the fuck back down. People are gonna stare.”

“Bitch, I have pink skin. They’ve been staring since we entered the room,” she snaps, “And don’t even think about changing the subject.”

“I’m not! Just sit back down.”

She obliges, but she’s still visibly riled up, “I knew your breakup was vague, but not this vague!”

“I don’t know either, okay!” you put your hands up, exasperated. “A month into it he got Kirishima to get his things from my apartment, and so I just assumed he wanted to break up.”

Her eyes are filled with bewilderment, “And your asking me to get your things from his apartment?”

“I…” you hesitate, “I asked you immediately the day after.”

At that, she huffs in surrender, sinking back into her chair. “And you’re supposed to be an expert at conflict resolution.”

“Hey,” you throw a used tissue at her, which she expertly dodges, “That’s for the workplace setting. Romantic relationships are a whole other thing.”

She scoffs, fiddling with the piece of paper containing the café’s WiFi password. “And then, what? You took a gap year to find yourself?”

You roll your eyes for the nth time, reaching forward to take back the tissue you threw at her.

“Don’t make it sound like that. I just took a gap year after graduating to rest and figure out what I wanted to do. I was just lucky enough to have been recruited by Kirishima even if I had zero work experience by the time I came back.”

Mina eyes you, “Even if it meant technically having Bakugou as your boss?”

You look down at the piece of tissue in your hands.

“Even if it meant actually having Bakugou as my boss.”

Mina doesn’t say anything after that, only reaching for her cup of decaf coffee. You follow suit, taking a sip from your now-diluted drink.

You look up at her to see that she’s thinking hard about something.

In spite of yourself, you feel the familiar feeling of dread rising in your throat.

“...You’re not gonna tell him about this conversation, are you?”

“Who, Katsuki?” she asks and you gingerly nod. “Of course not!”

You hold eye contact for a while longer before looking away with a big sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

Three knocks echo through the hallway, as well as Kirishima’s expansive, corner office. Hesitantly and without noise, you peer through the glass door to see him in his regular clothes and in his desk, rifling through some documents that appear to be mission reports.

Kirishima looks up and catches your eye. Beaming at you with an inviting grin, he beckons you in with a wave of a hand.

“Y/N, bro! What’s up?”

You smile at him as you enter and close the door behind you.

He calls everyone bro, regardless of their gender.

“Hi, Ei. I have the report on the recruits, including Bakugou’s sidekick here with me,” you gesture to the folder in your hand. “Can you spare a minute to go through it together?”

What seems like hesitation dances across Kirishima’s face before he somehow schools it into a sheepish frown.

“Sorry, Y/N,” he starts, “I’m kinda busy right now,”

He flips through the pages for emphasis, “Have an important report due in an hour.”

“Oh, well that’s okay. I can just come back later when you’re free.”

You’re already turning back to exit his office when Kirishima speaks up again.

“—but Bakugou’s available!”

Slowly, you shift back to face him.

“...What?”

“I mean,” Kirishima backtracks, evidently flustered by his outburst, “Bakugou’s free right now. He can go through those documents with you. Especially since he’s the one getting a new sidekick and all.”

You gulp despite yourself, willing desperately to calm your now racing heart.

“But Ei… It’s always been you and our department coordinating on stuff like this. Why the sudden change now?”

It takes Kirishima a few seconds to reply.

And what he says knocks the breath out of your lungs.

“I just think it’s about time he starts taking matters into his own hands.”

When you got dressed and ready this morning, you didn’t think you’d be having your first proper conversation with your ex in two years.

But the universe, or rather, Kirishima, had other plans.

Thinking ‘this is the best it can get’ as you stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you sigh and make your way to your desk to get the files, heading straight to Bakugou’s office afterward.

When you get there, you don’t dare to immediately walk toward his doorway as you did with Kirishima. Instead, you stop at his secretary’s desk.

“Is Dynamight in?”

“Yes,” his secretary chirps without hesitation. How she’s able to still be her sunshiney self despite working immediately under Bakugou is beyond you.

Human resilience, you guess.

She clicks a few times with her mouse as she stares at her laptop screen, before looking back at you again. “He’s actually expecting you, Y/N-san.”

Your eyes widen in disbelief.

Hope flutters in your chest without your permission.

You clear your throat in an attempt to not sound winded. “Really?”

You’re itching to ask if he cleared out his schedule specifically for you, but luckily, you don’t even have to make a fool of yourself because his secretary brings it up herself.

She smiles, “He had me move things around so he could make time for you.”

At that, you blink at her, speechless.

These double meanings are not helping in easing your nerves about this impending encounter.

“You can go ahead,” she gestures to the office, effectively snapping you out of your reverie. “I already gave him the heads up that you’re here.”

Great, you think to yourself. No turning back now.

After shooting her a quick thank you, you clutch the folder to your chest, as if it’s some sort of protective gear, and walk to his door. Upon reaching it, you realize that you don’t even have to knock, because it’s already slung wide open and held in place by a stopper.

You walk in.

Refusing to look at Bakugou, who, from the corner of your eye you can see has his back towards you and is looking at the view of the city skyline, you opt for going through the pages of the file instead.

With a sharp inhale, you finally look up to meet his gaze, only to find that he’s still turned away from you.

He probably didn’t hear me come in, you think.

You clear your throat, and he startles, albeit so minutely anyone else would’ve missed it, finally turning to regard you.

“Hello, Bakugou-san.”

You don’t wait for him to greet you in return. You simply move forward and place the folder on his desk, before stepping back again, hands clasped together behind you. He nods in acknowledgment and shifts to sit on his office chair.

“That folder contains the report on the recruits, including your new sidekick, Moriyama Kairi. It includes their personal histories, interview transcripts, and resumés, as well as recommendations by the departments regarding costumes, training programs, and the like.”

He only grunts in response, thumbing through the pages as you speak. He flips through them so fast that you doubt he’s even going to bother anything beyond skimming through.

He pauses, though, on a certain page, eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowing as he examines it, before closing the folder and placing it back in front of him.

You brace yourself for a comment on an error of some sort.

Instead, he says: “Thanks.”

Your mind goes blank.

You scramble for a decent response.

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“...Really?” he questions skeptically, pushing back on his desk to stand up, slowly circling it so that he can be face-to-face with you. He’s no less than two feet away now.

“It’s nothing?”

“I mean,” you stutter, shifting your eyes away from him to look at his desk, “it’s my job. That’s part of the job description.”

“Huh,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. Your eyes flicker back to him. Like Kirishima, he’s in his regular clothes, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“What?” you ask despite yourself, frustration bleeding into your voice.

He smirks, but there’s no malice behind it. “I didn’t know HR was supposed to produce a detailed write-up on how a sidekick can best complement their assigned Pro Hero.”

Your eyes widen slightly in alarm, and you find yourself grappling for any excuse to rid yourself of his suspicions.

Despite them being true.

“We are, actually,” you lie through your teeth. “I made a similar one for Kirishima back when we recruited Tanaka-san.”

“Really?” he asks again, visibly unconvinced, and you can’t help the annoyance that flashes through you. “Because I read through that file myself, and I didn’t see anything of the sort.”

Shit.

The playful expression that once adorned Bakugou’s face is now displaced by a serious countenance. You don’t even get to have a word in because he’s already speaking again.

“Why?” he starts, “Why did you do this for me?”

At that, you straighten up, face flaming in anger or embarrassment—you can’t tell. He seriously can’t be asking you this.

“It’s your first sidekick,” you retort, “And you’re not exactly Mr. Congeniality around here.”

You expect him to bite back with an insult himself, but he doesn’t.

“Okay, let’s say that’s true.”

You guffaw, “Wha–”

“Why go out of your way to make me this when you’re already drowning in work?”

You can’t believe the audacity of this guy.

“So you admit HR has been swamped these days?” you snap, but continue to deliver the last blow. “Oh, of course, you wouldn’t know! Since it’s Kirishima who does all of the coordinating work with us.”

“I do know,” he spits back, “That’s by design, and I’m more involved than you’d think. And,” he shoots you a look, “don’t change the subject.”

You’re bubbling with vengeful words but what comes out is a huff.

“What do you want me to say, Katsuki?”

At your taunting, he opens his mouth to say something, but ultimately decides against it.

Your stomach drops in disappointment.

“...Well,” you say meekly, “if you don’t have anything else for me, I have to get back to my office.”

Turning your back to him, you’re about to head for the door when he grabs your wrist.

“Wait.”

Your heart leaps in your chest.

You pause for a moment, before spinning to look at him.

It takes you less than a second to conclude that gone is the aloof and composed Bakugou.

It’s now the vulnerable Katsuki, who’s unable to look you in the eye, standing in front of you.

“Fuck, I…”

You can’t help but ache at the sight of him struggling. Despite yourself, you try and gently coax it out of him.

“What is it, Katsuki?”

At your affectionate mention of his first name, he finally meets your eye. You almost stumble back from the intensity of his gaze.

But not as much as at what he was going to say next.

“I want…you to admit it.”

You frown, “Admit what?”

He exhales before closing his eyes shut.

“That you’re still in love with me.”

tagging. @katsukis1wife

My love for pink and cats combined ♡

kitten stimboard!! 🐾 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Never have I felt so called out on liking bpd coded fictional men in my life. I just found out that I might have bpd so my type being bpd men is just the cherry on top

Why I think Macaque is extremely BPD coded

Note: This is a breakdown of why I believe Macaque has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and how that shows in his actions and affects how he treats others. I will try my best to properly explain each symptom and how the show writes it into Macaque’s character as a whole. (This will be set up by symptoms and won’t reflect all episodes Macaque appears in, only putting emphasis on season 1 episode 9 and season 2 episode 7 in particular.)

Note: I am a Borderline and this will have some personal experiences reflected in how I deal with my disorder so. With that, let’s begin !!

Favorite Person

This isn’t necessarily a symptom as not every borderline has an fp but it is noted to be an important enough occurrence for it to be a staple of being borderline.

A favorite person is someone incredibly important in a borderline’s life that becomes their constant source of happiness and validation. It’s someone who the borderline goes to for the majority of their attention and heavily relies on that other person to the point where it damages their relationship.

Now you’re probably wondering, ‘What does this have to do with Macaque?’, well I am a firm believer that Wukong was (and still is) Macaque’s favorite person. He is very clearly co-dependent on Wukong and probably has been for centuries. He actively seeks out some sort of response from Wukong as a way to gain his attention. Going as far as messing with the next closest person to the ginger, his successor.

Macaque torments and mocks Wukong constantly because he thrives on negative attention. He may not fully register that it’s negative because it’s attention nonetheless, and it wouldn’t matter if it was positive or not because it has the same effect. With this in mind, you could see him changing the logo on Mk’s jacket as a statement meant to mock Wukong. (Because we know and have seen Macaque be a lot more sneaky with his attacks, he could have easily hidden it but he chose to keep it in the open and the logo even laughs at Wukong.)

He sees Wukong as a hero, someone who is loved widely by others, and this comparison goes hand in hand with Macaque calling him the sun. Something bright that shines upon everything and everyone around them. Mac says these things very bitterly though, despite showing us that he once saw the two as equals.

Because of this, it might be a bit debatable whether Macaque truly hates Wukong or not. Borderlines suffer from extreme emotional dysregulation and tend to amplify their emotions (will elaborate on this further down) so Macaque’s hatred could stem entirely from this dysregulation. But he uses these comparisons as a way to express his emotions without downright saying them, considering it’s safe to assume he sucks at putting his emotions into words. It makes him angry when Wukong doesn’t go all out when they fight, mocking him and lashing out in his anger. To the point where it becomes obsessive, and it’s causing him to spiral into these feelings of anger constantly. (Especially since he’s quick to resolve every problem with a fight)

“C’mon! Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but now you’re afraid of hurting some kid? Pathetic!”

With the heavy reliance borderlines have on their fps, strong instances of jealousy are bound to sprout up and Macaque is a prime example of how that jealousy can affect someone’s actions towards those around them. When he’s introduced, he’s given this light carefree attitude seemingly to make him feel more approachable, at least from Mk’s perspective. When Mk asks him to teach that move he had done to hit the smoke monster, Macaque is quick to say a very backhanded thing that is very obviously meant to be a jab at Mk’s confidence. Both in himself and in Wukong’s teaching. (This could stem from Macaque’s jealousy of Mk, that this kid is who Wukong cares for so deeply and is able to stay on his good side. Unlike Macaque.) 

“[...]...I’m sure Monkey king would agree. It’s not like he would want to hold you back.”

This jealousy leads to him projecting his insecurities onto Mk and causes him to have this warped impression of the kid before even meeting him. Macaque constantly mentions how alike Mk is to Wukong, in ways that only Macaque seems to notice. They’re all negative traits that Macaque amplifies or may have completely fabricated, calling him selfish and implying that Mk is going to eventually forget about his friends simply because he’s a hero, just as Wukong did. (It could also be part of the reason why Macaque’s steady target has been Mk). He even goes as far as to try and tell Mk he missed the point of his shadow play, causing Mk genuine confusion because he doesn’t believe he’s anything like how Macaque portrays Wukong. “Other people are going to tell you to be patient, they are slowing you down.”

Now, this can be reaching or something entirely different but you could see Macaque’s bitterness towards Wukong and his insistence that he’s a bad teacher slightly stemming from jealousy as well. We know Wukong isn’t actually a bad teacher, or at least not as bad as Macaque seems to emphasize, but he’s been so bitter that he’s convinced himself that Wukong is much worse than he actually is. And because of this, he tries pushing this mindset onto Mk so he doubts Wukong and leaves him, much like Wukong did to Macaque.

The most obvious thing that actually stood out to me first and was the reason I thought Mac had BPD in the first place was how incredibly personally he took the falling out. He reacted so violently to it that it’s permanently stuck on his mind at all times. The emotions from that moment are so amplified that Macaque is unable to move on, latching onto the events like a lifeline because it’s all he knows. He had dedicated the majority of his new life to getting revenge on Wukong for this falling out because he blames all of it entirely on the latter. There’s a headcanon that LBD may have altered his memories of that event to make him further hate Wukong but I don’t entirely believe that’s true. It’s possible LBD probably did have a little tweaking in his memories but I don’t think she altered anything related to Macaque’s feelings about Wukong because he already did that himself. Macaque sees that day as the day Wukong left him, abandoned him for a surge of power, and planted the idea in his own head that Wukong was being selfish. That Wukong must have left because Mac wasn’t useful anymore and therefore he must not have cared all that much, which makes Macaque an unreliable narrator and he’s shown to be manipulative and choosy with how he phrases things. He sees Wukong as a backstabber who was quick to leave as soon as he became that hero that Macaque equates to being close to Heaven. (see pedestal screenshot)

Macaque let himself become so overwhelmed by that abandonment that he firmly believes Wukong didn’t and probably never cared about him to the same degree that Macaque cared. (Even though it is implied that Wukong did care, the two being inseparable and doing everything together. The two even were equals at some point.) And as much as Macaque makes himself want to hate Wukong, he can’t truly do it because he’s still codependent on the other. He still seeks out Wukong’s attention and still aims to mock him, continuously bringing him up when he speaks with the other members of Mk’s group. He sees himself as someone who was ‘too close’ to Wukong and suffered the consequences of that, despite many of the consequences being forced on him by himself. (All this could be why he is so adamant about telling everyone how much he thinks Wukong sucks. He firmly believes Wukong was entirely in the wrong and he had nothing to do with it and jumps at the opportunity to play the victim card. Even if it means leaving out details that might paint it the other way.)

“What would you like to hear? The hero suddenly remembered his beloved friend the warrior? That they lived happily ever after?”

It's obvious that Macaque still cares so deeply for Wukong to the point where it could even be implied that he wants a happy ending. He wishes for that happy ending, to be able to say Wukong did remember him and did come back. Him constantly talking about this falling out and painting himself as the victim could be his way of saying he wishes it ended differently, could be his way of trying to raise a jumpstart in Wukong. It could be a way for him to try and see if maybe something else will come out of this, that doing the same thing over and over might cause a change of outcome. (Obviously, it doesn’t work because nobody knows what he’s thinking, ever.)

Intense fear of abandonment

This symptom is one that I think Macaque struggles with the most. He does not handle rejection that well and will do anything to avoid it, much like how he’ll do anything to avoid abandonment. He saw Wukong reject him and leave him and decided that he’ll never leave Wukong alone, that he will continue to show up because he will always be Wukong’s shadow. He saw Wukong leaving continuously as an attack on him as a person, immediately internalizing it and believing he was the problem. He makes sure to keep Wukong as close as an arm’s distance so that if Wukong does choose to leave again, Macaque won’t be as hurt by it as he was the first time. It causes him to dwell on the past, not being able to stop. He keeps reliving what happened because he truly believes he needs to accomplish some sort of justice against Wukong for what happened. 

Alternatively, Macaque also will do anything to prevent new people from getting too close. When he notices that Mk is starting to grow on him, he starts to withdraw, amplifying his attempts at showing the kid he isn’t worth it. He becomes more and more aggressive throughout season 3, partly because of his rush to get out of lbd’s control but also because he’s slowly beginning to warm up to Mk’s group. (With the way his first initial idea was to try and convince Mk to come with him willingly and when he had done the same thing with Tang.)

He schemes and manipulates the people around him because its in his nature but also to keep their predetermined impression of him stay bad. Macaque hates relying on people, much rather staying and working alone than with others because of the disappointment it usually leads to. He doesn’t know how to properly open up anymore for fear of that other person leaving too.

Unstable relationships

As I’ve mentioned before Macaque’s relationship with Wukong was incredibly unstable. He valued Wukong much more than he valued himself, put Wukong on a pedestal, and idolized him, making him unreachable. But this could also be applied to Macaque’s relationship with Mk.

Macaque trains Mk, genuinely it seems and uses that opportunity to plant things into the kid’s head. Everything goes well before Macaque ultimately betrays him to go against Wukong, that being his ulterior motive the entire time. He continuously goes after Mk, causing the kid distress one after the other all in an attempt to get back at Wukong. Despite this all, Mk’s still willing to give him another chance in season 3 and Macaque doesn’t know how to handle that. (It is shown, or implied at least in season 3, that Macaque ends up showing legitimate care for Mk. He acknowledges that Mk is a good kid on two separate occasions, telling him that he’s happy there’s still “room for potential”.) He just prefers to keep Mk at a distance, despite the fact he seems to wear the title of Mk’s other mentor with pride.

Changes in self-identity and image

“A very, very powerful demon…”

“Since then you’ve had me teaching you! You’re stronger now!”

We all know this man has a ton of confidence, enough that he actively strokes his own ego every time he opens his mouth. His debut shows us how he sees himself as this strong ancient demon (even if he was referring to himself in the third person.) and he sees Mk as ‘stronger’ because he had Macaque teaching him.

Though in the same vein, he also understands that he isn’t as strong as he likes to brag he is. He still needed Wukong’s power to amplify himself before fighting him, again, (and even lbd acknowledges he needed aid and gives him some of her power after so many failed attempts). Macaque is power hungry and thrives on the taste of being powerful, on the thrill that comes from it, but his body can’t handle that power nor does he actually know how to use any of it. It’s part of why he relies more on his shadows and their sneakiness than he does entirely on his power. He’s an illusionist through and through and nothing more, but he keeps pushing himself for more power because he thinks he can handle it. He genuinely believes he can come out of these fights unscathed and winning and that could be the reason why he continues to go after Wukong.

“As the hero’s light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.”

This comparison he has of himself as the moon shows just how alone he truly sees himself. The moon is something that is depicted as being reliant on the sun to shine despite it being alone and far from the sun’s reach. There’s solace in the way the moon rotates around the earth and stays in its own orbit, keeping itself confined to its single path. Sometimes the moon seeks out the sun’s warmth and they do finally come together, they make an eclipse. But the moon is always the one reaching after the sun and Macaque sees himself as constantly in Wukong’s shadow. He sees himself as someone who reached for Wukong and failed, being left behind in the other’s shadow where he truly belongs. He sees Wukong leaving as him losing his purpose, that he couldn’t keep up anymore and now wasn’t someone Wukong could see as an equal.

Macaque sees himself as a warrior, someone who’s a soldier fighting for themself and their own beliefs. He doesn’t think he’s ever capable of being a hero, or ever changing for the better because he pushed himself into this villain role. He’s accepted that he will always be someone’s villain and so he has never actively tried to change (at least not until Mk pushes him to). Even though he actively acknowledges he has things he should talk about, blatantly telling Mk to his face that if he ever did try talking things out they would be there all day. It’s this black and white thinking that keeps him from being better, that keeps him in this endless cycle of manipulation and gaslighting and hurting that he doesn’t ever try to break because he doesn’t see there being a point. He’d rather do anything and everything to get what he wants because just the thought of him doing something right or something different like working with people and helping them makes him scoff.

With how Macaque carries himself and how he seemingly just throws his life around, lbd’s revival of him probably left him with this constant detachment from reality. He constantly feels empty and incorporeal (which could also be from the fact he is. shadows.) He’s scared of death, the idea of merely going back to being non-existent and in chains causes him such full-body stress especially if it’s brought on forcefully by someone’s hands. He’s paranoid, constantly on edge (specifically throughout season 3) because Lbd has his life dangling in front of him and he’s desperate to take it back. Her whispers and chains poke and prob him, keeping him on high alert so much that it becomes a driving force for him to impulsively choose to stop following her orders. Anything to get rid of her.

Inappropriate intense anger

He is repeatedly shown to lose his temper, lashing out at pretty much everyone no matter what they do. He weaponizes Mk’s insecurities against him in anger, threatens his friends to get them to do what he wants, and pushes people into a corner. He’s quick to anger and irritate, especially if he feels he’s starting to lose control over a situation. (Because he is very much a control freak, constantly needing to keep things around him in his control so he can manipulate tier outcomes how he likes.)

All of his anger seems to be misplaced as well. He was so quick to throw all the blame for the falling out on Wukong but never took the time to think about how he could have been wrong too, considering relationships are two-sided. He let this anger fester and alter his once positive view of Wukong and now he just can’t fix it. Macaque’s angrier at the way Wukong left him, feeling more betrayed about that than at the fact that Wukong killed him.

His anger towards Mk is shrouded in insecurities and doubts about himself and Wukong and he feels wronged somehow seeing how much Wukong cares for Mk. Macaque actively tries forcing his mindset onto Mk, trying to worm his way into making the kid see Wukong differently by using his insecurities and doubts against him. He compares Mk to this fabricated impression he has of Wukong and tries to mold Mk into someone he knows Wukong wouldn’t want.

Macaque’s flashback that he gets briefly as Mk lunges toward him shows just how much he hangs onto the past. How much he hangs onto the emotions from that event and how he projects it onto Mk, seeing Wukong in Mk’s place briefly. It’s that same amplified POV that we hear Macaque talk about and Shadow Play shows just how much it shrouds his impression of Mk. Because truthfully, he doesn’t know much about the kid other than the insecurities Mk rambled out to him and that he’s Wukong’s successor. Macaque filled in the remaining gaps with things he took from his initial impression of Wukong and just assumed the two were the same with how close they are. He has no idea where to put all these emotions so he dumps them onto the laps of others to deal with, or to become the targets of.

Final thoughts

Overall, I think Macaque is the biggest bpd-coded character in all of lmk, it’s just right there. In all our faces. He’s an incredibly emotion-driven person, doing things based on how they make him feel rather than if it’s logical. He’s so shrouded in black and white thinking and in his splitting of Wukong that it keeps just a tight grip on his life and he really does need to go to therapy. He needs to learn to move on and actively be better because if this cycle isn’t broken soon he’ll just continue to hurt not only himself but the people around him. Whether he wants to or not.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE I tried really hard to articulate my thoughts and such but I might have repeated some things here and there. I also am a firm believer that Shadow Play is actively just one big bpd episode. Like I wholeheartedly believe that whole episode was Macaque having an episode and in the midst of it, he decides to mess with Mk, only to stop halfway through because he snaps out of it and realizes that Mk is being hard on himself enough. He willingly brings back up bad memories through a retelling just to achieve some sort of I told you so moment with Mk only for it to backfire on him and just make him feel worse. (while also attracting the attention of lbd)

I think it’s such an important episode to Macaque’s character and what comes of him, especially since it opens the gates to why he decides to do the things he does in season 3. It has so many details in it that show just how unreliable Macaque can be as a narrator, especially when he’s having moments like that. It shows how he’s the selfish one, not Wukong, and how he let something like this mold him into something so unrecognizable from his past self. All because he was filled with rage and betrayal. It’s easier to fight and hate each other than it is for Macaque to apologize for whatever he may have done and amend. It’s easier being the villain to everyone and being hated rather than owning up to your mistakes and trying to be better. He finds comfort in his black and white thinking, finds comfort in how the others hate him, and actively avoids fighting him.

ALSO THIS.

THE PARALLELS !!! It’s a moment where things finally actively dawn on Wukong and he’s suddenly in Macaque’s place, their roles reversed. Macaque being the one who has the upper hand, finding that “power beyond comprehension” and leaving Wukong behind. In reference to their relationship, it could be seen as the moment Macaque finally gets Wukong to understand how he felt when the latter left, how he felt being left behind. He finally makes Wukong feel how he felt, that same desperation at watching the other’s back being turned. But Macaque’s is tainted, being forced onto him, and is actively eating away at his body. It’s reflectively of how Macaque remembers it but it isn’t the exact same.

y’all know what day it is

Rottmnt studies‼️🧚

The notes aren’t serious at all lol

THIS IS AMAZINGGG

traffic light trio vs LBD